Thursday, July 28, 2005
Just a note
I have indeed updated my poetry journal and the private journal will be updated tonight for sure. You can check out the poetry now, the private journal will be done before 1AM, I guarentee and will post on my msn when it is done.
Thanks guys
- Dep
Thanks guys
- Dep
I've Run Out Of Names, So Name This Yourself
First of all, I've been asked to post the link to Scrabble's Blog, she's recently put out a call for information from people to satisfy her immense curiosity (more because she was bored). Take a look at her post of July 28th 2005 at Scrabble's Blog, there is also a link to your right I believe (I will have to check and update my links one of these days).
I've decided, unfortunately, not to take a trip to Sudbury to see Nicky/Lisa/Chris at the end of this year. Given the amount of money I have put into travelling over the past year, I have been left with no savings and actually not much in the way of wearable clothes. I am, at the moment, down to two pairs of jeans and no belt which I need for one of them, so! I have $55 in the bank at the moment, I will add $50 to that at the end of the month and go clothes shopping with a decent portion of that. Most likely at Zellers, as usual. But as I require that money for clothes and other things, and as I have some upcoming events in my life that may or may not require my full attention for awhile, I will not be coming to Sudbury. My apologies Nicky.
Speaking of which, here is a bit of an event calendar for those of you curious.
August 1st - Civic Holiday (Canoeing with my mom and maybe Vicki)
August 3rd - PTY at 7PM
August 6th - Uncle Scott's Wedding
August 8th - My probation meeting
August 10th - PTY
August 17th - PTY/Jordon's Going Away Party at the Edge
August 18th - Registration at Heritage
August 22nd - Back to school
August 24th - PTY(?)
Add in job hunting somewhere in the weeks leading up to back to school. Also, in case you were not already aware of this - I am on probation because I did not put enough effort into my work last semester. Given this, I will need to devote myself to doing work this semester - I cannot afford to slack off. I'm in a new and better program (Computer Science) and I have a clean start pretty much, plus I'm ahead two courses on my 1st semester already but that still does not mean I can afford to miss any more school than I have to and I need to do all the work. Especially in French as it's my worst subject - I'll settle for a pass, but I need to work for it.
(Not to mention both my mom's and my brother's birthdays are in August - damn I forget when. I'll have to find out.)
Not to say I won't be having fun on occasion, but the procrastination must and will end. 'Sides - it's computers. How hard can it be? It's really only French I'm worried about - gym should be a cinch and I was never worried about rational thinking - I'm perfectly rational when I want to be.
Off of that topic now... some of you are starving to know about my love life.
Well at the moment I'm still single. I'm not sure what I want... and as always I base what I want on what is possible. While there have not been overt invitations from women I know, there have been subtle hints and closer relationships to me now that I'm single. I'm going to take my time. I don't particularly feel like jumping into a relationship at the moment - not that I don't want one but the last is still affecting me a little bit - some pretty radical mood swings and such. I may post about this in my private journal, in that I feel better able to explain some parts of me now. Look for that if you feel like it, and if you've forgotten the link... drop me a line on MSN and I may or may not give it to you.
Recently I have, if you haven't noticed, taken to writing Pun Hell again. I've grown rather attached to the storyline and fully intend to complete the story. The ending... I don't know what it is. I've got two ideas kicking around that will both remain open until the very final act. Look for these being posted here in the next couple of weeks. There remains but five chapters I believe in the story, though... well wait and see. I've given some hints as to what may happen after my five chapters in the last two I posted here, see if you can find them.
I have company here in town this week, my Grammie from out in New Brunswick. Very nice woman, and I may or may not be around but as usual just check my MSN status.
I can't really think of anything else to write about. CHECK OUT SCRABBLE'S JOURNAL!
signing off with hugs to you all
Dep
I've decided, unfortunately, not to take a trip to Sudbury to see Nicky/Lisa/Chris at the end of this year. Given the amount of money I have put into travelling over the past year, I have been left with no savings and actually not much in the way of wearable clothes. I am, at the moment, down to two pairs of jeans and no belt which I need for one of them, so! I have $55 in the bank at the moment, I will add $50 to that at the end of the month and go clothes shopping with a decent portion of that. Most likely at Zellers, as usual. But as I require that money for clothes and other things, and as I have some upcoming events in my life that may or may not require my full attention for awhile, I will not be coming to Sudbury. My apologies Nicky.
Speaking of which, here is a bit of an event calendar for those of you curious.
August 1st - Civic Holiday (Canoeing with my mom and maybe Vicki)
August 3rd - PTY at 7PM
August 6th - Uncle Scott's Wedding
August 8th - My probation meeting
August 10th - PTY
August 17th - PTY/Jordon's Going Away Party at the Edge
August 18th - Registration at Heritage
August 22nd - Back to school
August 24th - PTY(?)
Add in job hunting somewhere in the weeks leading up to back to school. Also, in case you were not already aware of this - I am on probation because I did not put enough effort into my work last semester. Given this, I will need to devote myself to doing work this semester - I cannot afford to slack off. I'm in a new and better program (Computer Science) and I have a clean start pretty much, plus I'm ahead two courses on my 1st semester already but that still does not mean I can afford to miss any more school than I have to and I need to do all the work. Especially in French as it's my worst subject - I'll settle for a pass, but I need to work for it.
(Not to mention both my mom's and my brother's birthdays are in August - damn I forget when. I'll have to find out.)
Not to say I won't be having fun on occasion, but the procrastination must and will end. 'Sides - it's computers. How hard can it be? It's really only French I'm worried about - gym should be a cinch and I was never worried about rational thinking - I'm perfectly rational when I want to be.
Off of that topic now... some of you are starving to know about my love life.
Well at the moment I'm still single. I'm not sure what I want... and as always I base what I want on what is possible. While there have not been overt invitations from women I know, there have been subtle hints and closer relationships to me now that I'm single. I'm going to take my time. I don't particularly feel like jumping into a relationship at the moment - not that I don't want one but the last is still affecting me a little bit - some pretty radical mood swings and such. I may post about this in my private journal, in that I feel better able to explain some parts of me now. Look for that if you feel like it, and if you've forgotten the link... drop me a line on MSN and I may or may not give it to you.
Recently I have, if you haven't noticed, taken to writing Pun Hell again. I've grown rather attached to the storyline and fully intend to complete the story. The ending... I don't know what it is. I've got two ideas kicking around that will both remain open until the very final act. Look for these being posted here in the next couple of weeks. There remains but five chapters I believe in the story, though... well wait and see. I've given some hints as to what may happen after my five chapters in the last two I posted here, see if you can find them.
I have company here in town this week, my Grammie from out in New Brunswick. Very nice woman, and I may or may not be around but as usual just check my MSN status.
I can't really think of anything else to write about. CHECK OUT SCRABBLE'S JOURNAL!
signing off with hugs to you all
Dep
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Fight
I saw 'Laws of Attraction' yesterday. This is my thought.
Within each of us lies a burning light
Never let it go out
Believe, as you have always believed
Searching for your truth
When you find that golden apple, so bright
Never let it out of sight
For each of us, there is love in this life
A golden apple, shining
So believe as you have always believed
And trust in love to be right
For without love, we are but shadows in the night
Fight... fight for the dying light
Never let it go out
Believe, as you have always believed
Searching for your truth
When you find that golden apple, so bright
Never let it out of sight
For each of us, there is love in this life
A golden apple, shining
So believe as you have always believed
And trust in love to be right
For without love, we are but shadows in the night
Fight... fight for the dying light
- Fight by Dep
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
I Bring Tidings
I was in the mood to write today and decided to return to a long neglected project of mine. Yes, I give you... the best, the longest chapter yet... with new plot details and information you've always wanted to know... welcome back to the twisting depths of...
PUN HELL
(Now with cheese)
*PLOMP*
I am in the midst of writing Chapter XI - An Unbalanced Person and have, based on the dialogue of the Brie Captain (loosely based on Patrick Stewart) expanded the storyline at least three more chapters. For those of you who remember my original storyline, this means there are now a total of six chapters left in Pun Hell before the conclusion (?). Watch for them.
On a personal note, I feel better today - I was kindof down yesterday and wrote about it here, sorry about that. Suppose I should keep it to myself or I'm going to wind up offending someone. But today I feel good. Tomorrow my grammie from New Brunswick is coming to visit us, so I may or may not be around for a lot of tomorrow - cleaning and all, but drop me a line on MSN if you need/want to chat with me. Plus tomorrow is, of course, a Wednesday and as such I will be in Ottawa after 5PM about until 10-10:30PM.
Laterz
- Dep
PUN HELL
(Now with cheese)
CHAPTER IX – THE RIP-OFF STRIKES BACK
In a long line of Star Wars puns, I have returned once again to pen the final chapters (or are they?) of Pun Hell. This project, which began many moons ago on my journal, has evolved from a short chapter to many chapters, involving as many weird and random things as I can come up with. Now, let us move into the conclusion in which the plot (yes there’s a plot) comes to a climax, User meets his grisly final demise and the anomaly is revealed to be both beginning and end…
(WHAT WAS THAT DEP? ARE YOU PLANNING TO KILL ME OFF AGAIN?)
For god’s sake User… how do you manage to keep coming back?
(I DON’T, I’M BUT A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION)
More like a nightmare… anyways, on with the story!
(QUITE)
*PLOMP*
Dawn and Tristan landed on the floor. Well it wasn’t so much a floor as grass; blue grass. They looked around for a few moments and were startled to see something yellow pop out of the ground in front of them.
Brie First Officer: Halt! State your names.
Dawn: I’m Dawn
Tristan: And I’m Tristan.
Brie First Officer: Who are you working for?
Tristan: Ahh…
Brie First Officer: I see… spies eh? Well the Captain will know what to do with you. Now march!
From around them popped up many yellow beings, about three feet in height with tiny arms and legs. They carried some form of strange weapon and they looked as though they were made of… cheese?
They marched until they reached a camp which was filled with these strange cheese-like beings. Quickly they were escorted into a huge tent over which flew a huge yellow banner with the picture of a slice of cheese on it.
Brie Captain: Ah, are these the prisoners Number One?
Brie First Officer: Yes, Sir!
Brie Captain: Excellent. Why don’t you pour us some Earl Grey, Number One, and we can have a little chat with our guests.
Brie First Officer: Aye aye, Captain.
Brie Captain: So tell me, Dawn and Tristan – what brings you to be lurking outside of my camp?
Tristan: Well, you see Captain… we were being chased by Agents of the Microsoft Corporation and…
Brie Captain: Stop – you are enemies of the Microsoft Corporation?
Tristan: Well… not exactly… more they have chosen for some reason to make us their enemies.
Brie Captain: Well, in that case, welcome aboard. We are currently in the middle of a major offensive against the mighty walls of the Microsoft Empire so that all of cheese-kind may live in peace in our Cheese Federation.
Dawn: Cheese Federation?
Brie Captain: It’s a Federation of Beings which includes over 150 races of Cheese spread across eight thousand miles. We, of course, welcome all beings into our Federation however and I am glad to have your support. We work to better ourselves and all of cheese-kind so that all the Cheese everywhere may live in peace.
Dawn: I see.
Tristan: Very well. What can we do to help?
Brie Captain: We need to enlist the most mighty of all powers to aid in our struggle against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
Tristan: You mean… (whispers) Lord Voldemort?
Brie Captain: Lord Voldemort? Never heard of him. No I mean… (whispers) Bill.
Dawn: Bill?
Brie Captain: SHH! It is forbidden to even think the name. To think it would bring His mighty wrath down upon us.
Dawn: I see. Well who is it that you wish to enlist the help of?
Brie Captain: The Goddess of Pi. Rumoured to be the most beautiful creature ever born, with awesome pi flinging abilities, her aid would surely ensure the downfall of the MicroSoft Network (or, as we tend to call it, the MSN).
Tristan: I see. What can we do to help?
Brie Captain: Well, what do you know of the Goddess of Pi?
Tristan: Truth, be told, not much.
Brie Captain: Very well, I shall tell you the tale as I know it…
THE BRIE CAPTAIN’S TALE
As I said, it is rumoured that she is the most beautiful of all beings. No one knows her true name, all merely know her as the Goddess of Pi. It is said that once, long ago, she was a being much like you but then she died because she managed to solve the Rubik Cube. While in Heaven, she met with God who is really a giant Sundae and ate from His Holy Dish. Having so eaten, she was returned to Earth with the powers of Pi and of Pun where she was to create a giant maze full of creatures never before seen on Earth to test the minds of any human being she found worthy. The purpose was to find the best minds and test how far humans have evolved so that God may know the status of His creation. Those who passed the test would be inducted into the Holy Order of the Knights of Pi. Rumour has it that the Goddess of Pi has sworn only to truly marry someone who is a member of the Order. This involves a stage of bonding beyond that of any human, it is so deep and intimate that words cannot describe it. However… to this day, not one human has passed the test. First, they must descend through the initial levels of Pun Hell, where they face many fearsome creatures. Then follows the Beginning, where they are introduced to the concept of Pun Hell. Here is also where the domain of the Microsoft Corporation begins; a deadly enemy who aims to stop all travel onto the lower levels. What follows afterwards is unknown to me, but rumour has it there are near-impossible mathematical problems, riddles and puzzles. There is even said to be a giant maze. The final level of Pun Hell, where it is said the Goddess herself resides, has the most challenging of all puzzle – but no one has yet made it that far.
In times of need, all of the residents can call upon the Goddess to come to our aid. But for the past five years, she has not answered our call and the Microsoft Corporation believes she has gone forever. They are using this opportunity to spread their influence, sending Agents to other levels and trying to wipe out the other populations within Pun Hell.
I must ask of you to travel to the furthest depths of Pun Hell and find out what happened. I know that no one has done it before, but something must be done.
Tristan looked at Dawn, who nodded.
Tristan: We accept.
Brie Captain: Most excellent!
Brie Trooper #3: *comes running in* Sir, Sir! Microsoft Agents have been spotted approaching the camp.
Brie Captain: Red Alert! All hands to battle stations!
Tristan: What can we do?
Brie Captain: Here, take a cheese gun and patrol the camp. Shoot anything that’s not small and yellow, or your lovely girlfriend here.
Tristan & Dawn together: Aye aye Captain.
They left the tent to a scene of utter chaos.
Tristan: My God.
A Microsoft Agent popped out of nowhere.
Microsoft Agent #1: Smith will suffice.
Tristan turned quickly and shot the Microsoft Agent point blank in the chest with the Cheese gun. The Microsoft Agent quickly liquefied into a puddle of melted cheese.
Dawn: Eww. That’s gross.
Tristan: Actually, that’s cheese.
*PLOP*
The ground turned to liquid cheese, then Dawn and Tristan quickly sank through to the next level of Pun Hell.
(YOU KNOW I’VE REMAINED SILENT ALL THIS TIME – THIS WASN’T ACTUALLY A BAD CHAPTER – IT’S STARTING TO HAVE A PLOT AND THERE WAS NOTHING RANDOM)
You’re right User. Thank you for that compliment.
(YOU’RE WELCOME)
I am in the midst of writing Chapter XI - An Unbalanced Person and have, based on the dialogue of the Brie Captain (loosely based on Patrick Stewart) expanded the storyline at least three more chapters. For those of you who remember my original storyline, this means there are now a total of six chapters left in Pun Hell before the conclusion (?). Watch for them.
On a personal note, I feel better today - I was kindof down yesterday and wrote about it here, sorry about that. Suppose I should keep it to myself or I'm going to wind up offending someone. But today I feel good. Tomorrow my grammie from New Brunswick is coming to visit us, so I may or may not be around for a lot of tomorrow - cleaning and all, but drop me a line on MSN if you need/want to chat with me. Plus tomorrow is, of course, a Wednesday and as such I will be in Ottawa after 5PM about until 10-10:30PM.
Laterz
- Dep
Monday, July 25, 2005
moderately moderate
It always feels good to get stuff done, be able to look at your work and say "I did this." Some people don't understand the pride I take in everything I do, even if I'm not so good at it - so what, I did it. If it's awesome for me, then for me it is awesome. It may be crap compared to what someone else can do, but I have no more claim to perfection than anyone else on this Earth.
I feel good today. The mix of negative and positive emotions is coming out positive today, as I was reminded of the large group of people who'll never abandon me no matter what I do - my family and very close friends - yesterday and I got some stuff done today. And I agree with another one of my friends who went through a similar situation - if you can't be bothered to come speak to me about your problems and resolve them, if you refuse to listen to a word I say and then throw it all back in my face... I can't do anything about that but why should I be bothered to be hurt then? And it does hurt, but I refuse to dwell on that pain now. You wanted to be in the past, you are in the past; you wanted the truth and you've got the truth. Now deal with it and if you don't want me in your life then say so instead of 'subtly' trying to drive me away. It's odd how people change and how some don't know the real meaning of love - they'll say the words either without meaning it or say them then go back on it. I've never, in a romantic situation, said "I love you" to a person I didn't mean it about. And yes I've loved a few people. Perhaps you believe in only loving one person - and that's your decision to make, how exclusive your definition of love is. I have one soulmate in this world and I don't know who it is. I love a lot of people. And I'm really not trying to be mean. I'm sorry if it came across that way. While I completely understand that you've been hurt, I don't think that you understand or even admit that I was hurt as well. You seem to insist on blaming me and I say we blame both or neither of us. If I wanted to, I could make the case for blaming you and a jury of my peers would not convict me, but I won't make that case as I dealt badly with the situation. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to get my point across and you are avoiding the conflict as you always do, avoiding admitting you were wrong at all. I'm always here for you to talk to about this, or for you to call. Feel free to rant, as long as we can have a discussion about it afterwards. If you think I'm wrong, come convince me I'm wrong instead of hiding in the shadows, moping.
But, having come to these conclusions, I feel better - I can't think of anything more I can do at this moment to try and salvage our rapidly declining friendship. I think you've put dating out of the question for a good while now, as it would take a lot to make up for the hurt you've caused in the past few weeks. 'Sides there are other things that are more appealing to me at the moment - you don't seem to want to help yourself and therefore I can't really do anything to help you help yourself. As I said, I feel better as I'm no longer dwelling on the pain and moping, instead I'm trying to move on with my life.
My uncle Scott is getting married in less than two weeks, I'm gonna see if I can take Vicki with me to the wedding. It should be fun, my dad's side of the family knows how to throw a party. (Except for my Nannie who's more conservative than a Catholic) But the rest of my dad's family is quite a laugh most of the time. You have to be there though.
In any case, that's about all for now. Gonna go post a shorter one on MSN.
Laterz
- Dep
But, having come to these conclusions, I feel better - I can't think of anything more I can do at this moment to try and salvage our rapidly declining friendship. I think you've put dating out of the question for a good while now, as it would take a lot to make up for the hurt you've caused in the past few weeks. 'Sides there are other things that are more appealing to me at the moment - you don't seem to want to help yourself and therefore I can't really do anything to help you help yourself. As I said, I feel better as I'm no longer dwelling on the pain and moping, instead I'm trying to move on with my life.
My uncle Scott is getting married in less than two weeks, I'm gonna see if I can take Vicki with me to the wedding. It should be fun, my dad's side of the family knows how to throw a party. (Except for my Nannie who's more conservative than a Catholic) But the rest of my dad's family is quite a laugh most of the time. You have to be there though.
In any case, that's about all for now. Gonna go post a shorter one on MSN.
Laterz
- Dep
Saturday, July 23, 2005
*reels*
It's now been officially 23 hours since I slept. I need sleep, especially as I promised a repeat of last night, tonight. Update time.
I went to get hot chocolate last night, knowing that Vicki was most likely working and figuring we could talk some. We did... until the morning rush started at 6AM and then I walked her home at 7AM, had a conversation with her and her mom/ate breakfast until 11 then watched a movie until 1 - it is now 2 and I woke up at 3 yesterday. I told her I'd be back tonight, so I figure if I crash at 3, I'll wake up around 11-12, head over to the Tim Hortons which will be slowing down (They were almost dead at 2am last night), spend the night with her and such, walk her home again then come back here, at the latest for noon giving me time to find all my goth stuff to scare the shit outta my grandparents lol (maybe borrow some from vicki as well) as I have brunch with the conservative side of my family tomorrow that i'm leaving for around 1-2ish. Then I come back once more, around 11-12, crash and be right back into a normal sleeping pattern almost.
I've decided I want a job that I get to work night shifts at. I like staying up all night and sleeping during the day, perhaps it's my natural rhythem. I never seem to be awake until after noon anyhow. Might as well go with it, eh?
Sudbury... sudbury sudbury sudbury. Sudbury can wait I have a lot of things on my mind. Whatever I decide to do about it, I have come to the following conclusions...
1) I would want to know Chris better before signing an agreement with him.
2) I don't want to be stuck with no savings or spending money - those will have to be worked into our agreement on how to divide the profits - in other words I believe Chris sees us reinvesting anything we don't need to live and I'm going to ensure that "to live" includes having some fun once in awhile based on my budget for university, approved by my parents.
3) I (And this is quickly becoming non-negotiable in my mind) want either my DEP (that's a Diplome des Etudes Professionelle for those of you who don't know QC acryonyms - it's the equivalent of a technical degree from a college) or I want enough university that I can go right into getting my masters (thus I believe I need a Bachelor of Computer Science with honors, though I'm not certain about the with honors - I have research to do)
4) Before signing any agreement I want to go over owning a business with my economics and math teacher, so I can learn all that I need to know.
Given these four issues, I am not at this time willing to commit myself to the agreement but will definately consider it in the future if they can be resolved to my satisfaction.
I'm also debating where I want to go to university. I find it likely I will complete my DEP if I don't go with Chris, however if I feel a need for higher learning and can get in to a university I will consider this in the future.
In any case, that's all for now, hope you enjoyed it but I need sleep.
laterz
- Dep
I went to get hot chocolate last night, knowing that Vicki was most likely working and figuring we could talk some. We did... until the morning rush started at 6AM and then I walked her home at 7AM, had a conversation with her and her mom/ate breakfast until 11 then watched a movie until 1 - it is now 2 and I woke up at 3 yesterday. I told her I'd be back tonight, so I figure if I crash at 3, I'll wake up around 11-12, head over to the Tim Hortons which will be slowing down (They were almost dead at 2am last night), spend the night with her and such, walk her home again then come back here, at the latest for noon giving me time to find all my goth stuff to scare the shit outta my grandparents lol (maybe borrow some from vicki as well) as I have brunch with the conservative side of my family tomorrow that i'm leaving for around 1-2ish. Then I come back once more, around 11-12, crash and be right back into a normal sleeping pattern almost.
I've decided I want a job that I get to work night shifts at. I like staying up all night and sleeping during the day, perhaps it's my natural rhythem. I never seem to be awake until after noon anyhow. Might as well go with it, eh?
Sudbury... sudbury sudbury sudbury. Sudbury can wait I have a lot of things on my mind. Whatever I decide to do about it, I have come to the following conclusions...
1) I would want to know Chris better before signing an agreement with him.
2) I don't want to be stuck with no savings or spending money - those will have to be worked into our agreement on how to divide the profits - in other words I believe Chris sees us reinvesting anything we don't need to live and I'm going to ensure that "to live" includes having some fun once in awhile based on my budget for university, approved by my parents.
3) I (And this is quickly becoming non-negotiable in my mind) want either my DEP (that's a Diplome des Etudes Professionelle for those of you who don't know QC acryonyms - it's the equivalent of a technical degree from a college) or I want enough university that I can go right into getting my masters (thus I believe I need a Bachelor of Computer Science with honors, though I'm not certain about the with honors - I have research to do)
4) Before signing any agreement I want to go over owning a business with my economics and math teacher, so I can learn all that I need to know.
Given these four issues, I am not at this time willing to commit myself to the agreement but will definately consider it in the future if they can be resolved to my satisfaction.
I'm also debating where I want to go to university. I find it likely I will complete my DEP if I don't go with Chris, however if I feel a need for higher learning and can get in to a university I will consider this in the future.
In any case, that's all for now, hope you enjoyed it but I need sleep.
laterz
- Dep
Thursday, July 21, 2005
*quiet furious rage*
For those of you who have read the latest Harry Potter book... you know that death will come swiftly to JK Rowling. She cannot do this and get away with it. No way.
For those of you who have not. Go buy it and read it, then come back and tell me I'm right. I know you will. Anyone who's read any Harry Potter will want to kill her for this.
But I am eagerly awaiting the seventh.
Goddamn you JK Rowling for fucking with our heads.
- Dep
For those of you who have not. Go buy it and read it, then come back and tell me I'm right. I know you will. Anyone who's read any Harry Potter will want to kill her for this.
But I am eagerly awaiting the seventh.
Goddamn you JK Rowling for fucking with our heads.
- Dep
Monday, July 18, 2005
Things Just Get So Hectic
I forgot to tell a lot of you that I've opened yet another journal *rolls eyes* I've started making use of the MSN Blog, as it's hooked into MSN messenger and almost all my friends use it anyways. So... make use of it as you will, but I'll still post here. I post where I feel like posting, depending which group of friends I wish to talk to.
So... you want Timmins? I'll give you Timmins. I realize that I promised you all a full account and I apologize for not getting around to it until now.
The trip up wasn't so bad - I faded in and out of sleep until about 10AM. The bus didn't break down this time, so it was a far sight better that the Christmas trip. Got in, went to Chris and Nicky's place. I believe it was in that first day that it was proposed I stay with them for a longer period time, possibly until when they were going to leave for Sudbury (a month later). I agreed for three reasons - 1) More time with Courtney, 2) More time with Nicky and 3) More time for programming with Chris. Courtney came over that night and the next, we talked a lot, did the dishes - it was fun. Chris and I got heavily into programming then and Courtney became too busy with work and such to see us. Lisa came over at one point in here, which was the beginning of my friendship with her (though a bit of a rocky start as I felt a bit shy and had a lot on my mind). I saw the Northern Lights in person finally, on the Saturday or Sunday night I believe while walking Courtney home. I saw 'White Noise' which scared the shit out of me that night as well. Chris and I coded while Nicky was at work and I did some in my spare moments when I was bored or there wasn't much else to do. Then, what I suppose really got me loosened up and feeling more a part of the town than a strange visitor is I went out to a club (Club 147) with Lisa and Nicky (and were joined by more people later). Before we went out, Nicky did my hair (god it looked awesome) and a steel chain - apparently I can look good after all lol. But before we left, Nicky and I had a bit of a talk, with Lisa there, about Courtney where Nicky told me that Courtney had said she wanted to date me again, but didn't want to date me again - after all that had gone between us the first few nights, I was kindof feeling hopeful that she was interested - which hit a bit hard but not too hard, after all nothing had be said directly so I accepted it and went out to the bar, had a lot of fun playing pool. I wrote a lot about it and how I felt about it, especially that she couldn't have come forward and said it directly to my face. Somewhere in here I read a comic book called "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" or JtHM - an excellent comic strip in a rather twisted manner. More programming, Chris and I fully hash out exactly what his offer of partnership meant - he wants me to move to Sudbury in Fall 2006, live with him and go to university until he needs me full time. I only have two concerns really, one of which is a private personal concern and the other is that I really really really REALLY want my university diploma. I know I don't know enough about running a small business, thus I fully intend to talk to my economics teacher from high school about it and get all that I would need. I'm considering accepting his offer on the condition that I can finish my three year program (assuming I can get a Masters starting from the three year program only) or four years if I can't - actually I don't believe Laurentian offers a four year comp sci program. Something else to look at. I have a tonne of research to do before I make a decision. It's on the backburner for now though, more important things are at the front. In programming I learned a bit more about Visual Basic and a lot about networking and hardware, two areas I was really weak in before. I also feel I got to know both Chris and Nicky a lot better than I ever could online, having lived with them. (see LiveJournal for more on that). Alright, returning to the timeline. Pool hall was fun. Chris and I spent more time coding, no sign of Courtney. Saw "SAW" and the beginnings of another horrible movie. Saw the entire Cube trilogy, which was awesome. Met more of Chris and Nicky's friends, heard some pretty funny stories about Timmins people. Finally, Courtney came back over one night for a couple of hours and I walked her home, after which I had it all out with Chris and Nicky about exactly what went on between Sarah and I (see LiveJournal for more). It ended with me resolving to tell Courtney all of this, which was the whole reason I went to Timmins in the first place, to talk to Courtney about this. Previous to this (I forgot), I had attempted to confront Courtney about what Nicky had said, but she blew it all off like it had never happened. Whether or not it did... I won't make judgments on and it doesn't really matter. There's also the question of what did happen a year ago with Marc, which again I hear conflicting stories from her and Nicky on, but that's really in the past and really doesn't matter. In any case, I called Courtney one night to talk to her, about two nights afterwards I believe, but she was busy with her father's birthday party so I let her go. The next day I went and wrote her an e-mail that explained it all and asked her to call me when she had some spare time. The next day, I woke up and was a bit hopeful, I felt good. Then Nicky comes to me, very sad, says she needs to tell me something - and then I hear that one of her and Courtney's mutual friends was in the Tim Hortons, talking it up about Courtney's boyfriend, whom she'd been seeing for awhile. Hmm. I took that rather well, I believe... until Nicky started playing the song 'End of the Road', saying she thought it described how I felt about Courtney perfectly...
(Spoken)
Darling... I love you
But you make a lot of assumptions
And when you assume
You make an ass out of you and me
Don't make an ass out of me
(Sung)
We belong together
And you know that I'm right
Why do you play with my heart?
Why do you play with my mind?
Said we'd be forever
Said it would never die
How could you love me and leave me
And never say goodbye?
When I can't sleep at night without holding you tight
Girl each time I try I just break down and cry
Pain in my head, oh I'd rather be dead
Spinning around and around...
Although we've come
To the end of the road
Still I can't let go
It's unnatural
You belong to me
I belong to you
No...
In any case. Apparently she didn't check her e-mail for a few days, because by the time Nicky got so fedup that she called her to ask if she'd checked her e-mail (a good four days later I believe it was), she told Nicky that no she hadn't and she would right away. I got called a few days later by her and was asked to come over the next night, so we could work on a spreadsheet together. I'm completely confused, but figure maybe it's just an excuse for me to come over. So I go. And somehow we wind up making out on the floor (note that this is the fourth time I've seen Courtney and this is the Thursday before I left, I leave Monday night). I leave, a bit hopeful but very confused, more than ever, with her saying she'll most likely come by tomorrow after work. She finished at 5 and can be at Nicky's apartment at 6 at the latest (That's running some errands in there). At 6:30 I called her place, no answer. Later that night, 7:30-8:30 range, Nicky calls her place again, and this time she picks up. She says she's sorry but she can't come by, she's got to leave in a few minutes and she didn't come by because her coworkers wouldn't let her leave because it was too hot (I think it was about... 25-30 that day, no more) and because she had to work late and her granddad wouldn't drop her off here. I, in as calm a voice I can muster, say ok, make the proper goodbyes and hang up. And then break out into tears. I believe this is when I went on my can crushing spree and crushed five or six popcans with my bare hands. I suppose it was just too much for me... back and forth, back and forth, all these things being said that I've had some suspicions about at times, but have never had confirmed - the up of what had happened the night before that and the down of having been told she won't be seeing me for something entirely stupid and avoidable (The heat/grandpa not driving) and that she didn't call to say she wouldn't be there because she was working late. I just snapped I suppose, and believe I went outside to calm down for an hour. That weekend, while Courtney was in Sudbury, I was really mellow. I watched the sunset for an hour, had a really long and interesting six hour conversation with Lisa before we fell asleep the night before I was supposed to leave. I played more pool with Lisa, Chris, Tracy, and a couple of other people at a place called Corner Pockets, went to Subway, got Lisa and Tracy's e-mail addresses. Lol, slept in the same bed as Nicky, guess that piss Chris off a bit lol. (Don't worry, nothing happened, it was just for convience as Lisa and Tracy had stolen my bed.) Chris found an apartment in Sudbury and we were really slack on the code for the last week and a half, two weeks - I think I was under a lot of stress and so was he to find a place, so it just kindof died out. Courtney didn't even call the night she got back into town and I had resolved not to call her, to test a bit of a theory of mine. She called Monday night, about an hour and a bit before I was supposed to leave - I had to walk to her place and pick up my watch/ring so she didn't have to mail them. We had a bit of talk then, which I brought up the rumour that she was dating Jo and that he'd already been in town to visit (that would explain why I didn't see her for a couple of weeks) and she again dismissed it as being a rumour made up by a friend to hurt her. I left, feeling kindof hurt because she had also refused to discuss anything to do with Sarah and rather we just went our seperate ways. I went back to the apartment where I had to leave almost right away, only enough time to give Nicky a goodbye hug and tell her about the three goodbye letters to her, Lisa and Chris I had left on her computer, then it was off to the bus station. I had a long talk with myself on that bus ride, and I opened my eyes to a lot of the things that have, in the past, hurt me more than I could admit at the time and I opened my eyes to all the things that were frustrating me. I got home and felt... completely neutral. I had reasons to be sad, reasons to hate myself but also reasons to be a bit happy - I was finally being honest with myself being the first one.
That's Timmins and a bit of the story of why some people feel I've changed so much since I left - the reason is I have. I've come to see all the mistakes I made and perhaps what I should have done - and I'm more honest with myself about what annoys me and what makes me feel hurt and insecure. Rather than denying it, I'm being open about it and I like this.
So a lot of you are going to ask where am I going now. I'm going forwards with my life. I know that I'm meant to be with someone - I don't know who that is. I know that, at this point in my life, it is not Sarah and it is not Courtney, because if it was, they would have said something. So I am going to do the only thing I can which is move on with my life. If things with Sarah or Courtney are meant to be, then there will come another opportunity in the future.
In any case, for some more personal things, I'm switching to LiveJournal. If you don't have LiveJournal, feel free to get a free account at http://www.livejournal.com and then message me online and I'll give you the blog address.
Laterz
- Dep
UPDATE:
Here's a song that I feel describes my mood the best and thank you Freya for it!
YOUR WINTER
The grey ceiling on the Earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child
And your opinion, what is that?
It's just a different point of view
What else oh what else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, oh I'm sorry
I said I'm sorry but what for
If I hurt you then I hate myself
I don't wanna hate myself, don't want to hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you, love you
I won't be your winter
And I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
And I will be here
Old picture on the shelf
It's been there for a while
Frozen image of ourselves
We were acting like a child
Innocent, in a trance
A dance that lasted for awhile
You read my eyes just like your diary
But remember, please remember
Well I'm not beggar, but what's more
If I hurt you then I hate myself
I don't want to hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If only you knew how much I love you
I won't be your winter
And I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
And I will be here
Enjoy
- Dep
So... you want Timmins? I'll give you Timmins. I realize that I promised you all a full account and I apologize for not getting around to it until now.
The trip up wasn't so bad - I faded in and out of sleep until about 10AM. The bus didn't break down this time, so it was a far sight better that the Christmas trip. Got in, went to Chris and Nicky's place. I believe it was in that first day that it was proposed I stay with them for a longer period time, possibly until when they were going to leave for Sudbury (a month later). I agreed for three reasons - 1) More time with Courtney, 2) More time with Nicky and 3) More time for programming with Chris. Courtney came over that night and the next, we talked a lot, did the dishes - it was fun. Chris and I got heavily into programming then and Courtney became too busy with work and such to see us. Lisa came over at one point in here, which was the beginning of my friendship with her (though a bit of a rocky start as I felt a bit shy and had a lot on my mind). I saw the Northern Lights in person finally, on the Saturday or Sunday night I believe while walking Courtney home. I saw 'White Noise' which scared the shit out of me that night as well. Chris and I coded while Nicky was at work and I did some in my spare moments when I was bored or there wasn't much else to do. Then, what I suppose really got me loosened up and feeling more a part of the town than a strange visitor is I went out to a club (Club 147) with Lisa and Nicky (and were joined by more people later). Before we went out, Nicky did my hair (god it looked awesome) and a steel chain - apparently I can look good after all lol. But before we left, Nicky and I had a bit of a talk, with Lisa there, about Courtney where Nicky told me that Courtney had said she wanted to date me again, but didn't want to date me again - after all that had gone between us the first few nights, I was kindof feeling hopeful that she was interested - which hit a bit hard but not too hard, after all nothing had be said directly so I accepted it and went out to the bar, had a lot of fun playing pool. I wrote a lot about it and how I felt about it, especially that she couldn't have come forward and said it directly to my face. Somewhere in here I read a comic book called "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" or JtHM - an excellent comic strip in a rather twisted manner. More programming, Chris and I fully hash out exactly what his offer of partnership meant - he wants me to move to Sudbury in Fall 2006, live with him and go to university until he needs me full time. I only have two concerns really, one of which is a private personal concern and the other is that I really really really REALLY want my university diploma. I know I don't know enough about running a small business, thus I fully intend to talk to my economics teacher from high school about it and get all that I would need. I'm considering accepting his offer on the condition that I can finish my three year program (assuming I can get a Masters starting from the three year program only) or four years if I can't - actually I don't believe Laurentian offers a four year comp sci program. Something else to look at. I have a tonne of research to do before I make a decision. It's on the backburner for now though, more important things are at the front. In programming I learned a bit more about Visual Basic and a lot about networking and hardware, two areas I was really weak in before. I also feel I got to know both Chris and Nicky a lot better than I ever could online, having lived with them. (see LiveJournal for more on that). Alright, returning to the timeline. Pool hall was fun. Chris and I spent more time coding, no sign of Courtney. Saw "SAW" and the beginnings of another horrible movie. Saw the entire Cube trilogy, which was awesome. Met more of Chris and Nicky's friends, heard some pretty funny stories about Timmins people. Finally, Courtney came back over one night for a couple of hours and I walked her home, after which I had it all out with Chris and Nicky about exactly what went on between Sarah and I (see LiveJournal for more). It ended with me resolving to tell Courtney all of this, which was the whole reason I went to Timmins in the first place, to talk to Courtney about this. Previous to this (I forgot), I had attempted to confront Courtney about what Nicky had said, but she blew it all off like it had never happened. Whether or not it did... I won't make judgments on and it doesn't really matter. There's also the question of what did happen a year ago with Marc, which again I hear conflicting stories from her and Nicky on, but that's really in the past and really doesn't matter. In any case, I called Courtney one night to talk to her, about two nights afterwards I believe, but she was busy with her father's birthday party so I let her go. The next day I went and wrote her an e-mail that explained it all and asked her to call me when she had some spare time. The next day, I woke up and was a bit hopeful, I felt good. Then Nicky comes to me, very sad, says she needs to tell me something - and then I hear that one of her and Courtney's mutual friends was in the Tim Hortons, talking it up about Courtney's boyfriend, whom she'd been seeing for awhile. Hmm. I took that rather well, I believe... until Nicky started playing the song 'End of the Road', saying she thought it described how I felt about Courtney perfectly...
(Spoken)
Darling... I love you
But you make a lot of assumptions
And when you assume
You make an ass out of you and me
Don't make an ass out of me
(Sung)
We belong together
And you know that I'm right
Why do you play with my heart?
Why do you play with my mind?
Said we'd be forever
Said it would never die
How could you love me and leave me
And never say goodbye?
When I can't sleep at night without holding you tight
Girl each time I try I just break down and cry
Pain in my head, oh I'd rather be dead
Spinning around and around...
Although we've come
To the end of the road
Still I can't let go
It's unnatural
You belong to me
I belong to you
No...
In any case. Apparently she didn't check her e-mail for a few days, because by the time Nicky got so fedup that she called her to ask if she'd checked her e-mail (a good four days later I believe it was), she told Nicky that no she hadn't and she would right away. I got called a few days later by her and was asked to come over the next night, so we could work on a spreadsheet together. I'm completely confused, but figure maybe it's just an excuse for me to come over. So I go. And somehow we wind up making out on the floor (note that this is the fourth time I've seen Courtney and this is the Thursday before I left, I leave Monday night). I leave, a bit hopeful but very confused, more than ever, with her saying she'll most likely come by tomorrow after work. She finished at 5 and can be at Nicky's apartment at 6 at the latest (That's running some errands in there). At 6:30 I called her place, no answer. Later that night, 7:30-8:30 range, Nicky calls her place again, and this time she picks up. She says she's sorry but she can't come by, she's got to leave in a few minutes and she didn't come by because her coworkers wouldn't let her leave because it was too hot (I think it was about... 25-30 that day, no more) and because she had to work late and her granddad wouldn't drop her off here. I, in as calm a voice I can muster, say ok, make the proper goodbyes and hang up. And then break out into tears. I believe this is when I went on my can crushing spree and crushed five or six popcans with my bare hands. I suppose it was just too much for me... back and forth, back and forth, all these things being said that I've had some suspicions about at times, but have never had confirmed - the up of what had happened the night before that and the down of having been told she won't be seeing me for something entirely stupid and avoidable (The heat/grandpa not driving) and that she didn't call to say she wouldn't be there because she was working late. I just snapped I suppose, and believe I went outside to calm down for an hour. That weekend, while Courtney was in Sudbury, I was really mellow. I watched the sunset for an hour, had a really long and interesting six hour conversation with Lisa before we fell asleep the night before I was supposed to leave. I played more pool with Lisa, Chris, Tracy, and a couple of other people at a place called Corner Pockets, went to Subway, got Lisa and Tracy's e-mail addresses. Lol, slept in the same bed as Nicky, guess that piss Chris off a bit lol. (Don't worry, nothing happened, it was just for convience as Lisa and Tracy had stolen my bed.) Chris found an apartment in Sudbury and we were really slack on the code for the last week and a half, two weeks - I think I was under a lot of stress and so was he to find a place, so it just kindof died out. Courtney didn't even call the night she got back into town and I had resolved not to call her, to test a bit of a theory of mine. She called Monday night, about an hour and a bit before I was supposed to leave - I had to walk to her place and pick up my watch/ring so she didn't have to mail them. We had a bit of talk then, which I brought up the rumour that she was dating Jo and that he'd already been in town to visit (that would explain why I didn't see her for a couple of weeks) and she again dismissed it as being a rumour made up by a friend to hurt her. I left, feeling kindof hurt because she had also refused to discuss anything to do with Sarah and rather we just went our seperate ways. I went back to the apartment where I had to leave almost right away, only enough time to give Nicky a goodbye hug and tell her about the three goodbye letters to her, Lisa and Chris I had left on her computer, then it was off to the bus station. I had a long talk with myself on that bus ride, and I opened my eyes to a lot of the things that have, in the past, hurt me more than I could admit at the time and I opened my eyes to all the things that were frustrating me. I got home and felt... completely neutral. I had reasons to be sad, reasons to hate myself but also reasons to be a bit happy - I was finally being honest with myself being the first one.
That's Timmins and a bit of the story of why some people feel I've changed so much since I left - the reason is I have. I've come to see all the mistakes I made and perhaps what I should have done - and I'm more honest with myself about what annoys me and what makes me feel hurt and insecure. Rather than denying it, I'm being open about it and I like this.
So a lot of you are going to ask where am I going now. I'm going forwards with my life. I know that I'm meant to be with someone - I don't know who that is. I know that, at this point in my life, it is not Sarah and it is not Courtney, because if it was, they would have said something. So I am going to do the only thing I can which is move on with my life. If things with Sarah or Courtney are meant to be, then there will come another opportunity in the future.
In any case, for some more personal things, I'm switching to LiveJournal. If you don't have LiveJournal, feel free to get a free account at http://www.livejournal.com and then message me online and I'll give you the blog address.
Laterz
- Dep
UPDATE:
Here's a song that I feel describes my mood the best and thank you Freya for it!
YOUR WINTER
The grey ceiling on the Earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child
And your opinion, what is that?
It's just a different point of view
What else oh what else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, oh I'm sorry
I said I'm sorry but what for
If I hurt you then I hate myself
I don't wanna hate myself, don't want to hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you, love you
I won't be your winter
And I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
And I will be here
Old picture on the shelf
It's been there for a while
Frozen image of ourselves
We were acting like a child
Innocent, in a trance
A dance that lasted for awhile
You read my eyes just like your diary
But remember, please remember
Well I'm not beggar, but what's more
If I hurt you then I hate myself
I don't want to hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If only you knew how much I love you
I won't be your winter
And I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
And I will be here
Enjoy
- Dep
Thursday, July 14, 2005
CALLING ALL MUSICIANS
Yes my friends... it is time.
I am seeking to put together a small band from among my friends with as many Philemon alumni/students as possible though others are welcome. Our purpose at the moment is to learn and play exactly one song at a concert next April/May. Yes I'm starting a little early but I'd like to find these people and then get a copy of the song so they've got a long time to learn it. Also I intend, at the least, to get us some Blues Brothers outfits and possibly even reenact a skit so if you like the Blues Brothers and can play an instrument, this is for you. And even if you don't like the Blues Brothers or have never heard of them, come on down anyways. It's only a suit, tie and pants.
Seeking...
Drummer
Bassist (upright acoustic preferably - CHRISSIE THIS MEANS YOU!)
Electric Guitarist
Trumpetist or two
Trombonist or two would be welcome
Baritone saxophonist would be welcome
Tenor saxophonist would be welcome
David Irving will play keyboard for us
Robert Turnbull will play alto saxophone for us
The song we shall be playing is the Green Onions song - I've got a copy for anybody who hasn't heard it, just drop me a line over the net and I'll send it to ya and if you're interested, I will obtain sheet music for all the parts needed - and I'm sure that Dave will, as usual, lend us the instruments. He'll be running the instruments side, giving us a place to rehearse and getting us into the concert but beyond that I'm in charge. So those of you who have a bit of an aversion to Dave's way of doing things... don't worry.
In any case, e-mail me at darkelfpoet@hotmail.com or drop me a line on MSN or give me a ring if you have my number - I NEED PEOPLE!
Thanks y'all
- Dep
I am seeking to put together a small band from among my friends with as many Philemon alumni/students as possible though others are welcome. Our purpose at the moment is to learn and play exactly one song at a concert next April/May. Yes I'm starting a little early but I'd like to find these people and then get a copy of the song so they've got a long time to learn it. Also I intend, at the least, to get us some Blues Brothers outfits and possibly even reenact a skit so if you like the Blues Brothers and can play an instrument, this is for you. And even if you don't like the Blues Brothers or have never heard of them, come on down anyways. It's only a suit, tie and pants.
Seeking...
Drummer
Bassist (upright acoustic preferably - CHRISSIE THIS MEANS YOU!)
Electric Guitarist
Trumpetist or two
Trombonist or two would be welcome
Baritone saxophonist would be welcome
Tenor saxophonist would be welcome
David Irving will play keyboard for us
Robert Turnbull will play alto saxophone for us
The song we shall be playing is the Green Onions song - I've got a copy for anybody who hasn't heard it, just drop me a line over the net and I'll send it to ya and if you're interested, I will obtain sheet music for all the parts needed - and I'm sure that Dave will, as usual, lend us the instruments. He'll be running the instruments side, giving us a place to rehearse and getting us into the concert but beyond that I'm in charge. So those of you who have a bit of an aversion to Dave's way of doing things... don't worry.
In any case, e-mail me at darkelfpoet@hotmail.com or drop me a line on MSN or give me a ring if you have my number - I NEED PEOPLE!
Thanks y'all
- Dep
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Footsteps
Follow the path
bound in shadow
Seek the truth
burning in night
Learn of love
echoing in moonlight
Follow the Footsteps
made in darkness
Welcome to July 11th, soon to be July 12th.
In trivial news...
I found a copy of The Crow and The Crow II in bittorrent form and am currently downloading them. 10 points to me. They'll be done in five hours (I actually found them yesterday but paused downloading overnight and never resumed). My sole task remaining that I must do before I sleep tonight is redo my resume to include the new job experience - I'll translate that into French tomorrow and then see if I can hook up my printer again so I can get some copies out on Wednesday. The computer program goes well. I am fixing major bugs in it now and have a Beta interface completed to the point where I can test what I have set up. It goes well.
In perhaps not so trivial news...
I feel... I dunno. It's kind of odd. I miss Sarah a bit, but that's so far in the past now that I've already learned to live without her. I miss Courtney and am slightly hurt but I really don't see anything I can do about that. I have reached a state where... I care but I don't care. It perhaps sounds harsh but in a sense it's true. I do care for them and always will, just as I still do for Vicki, but I no longer feel compelled to continue to try. Both have made it abundantly clear they don't want me to try. And so I won't. Having come to this point in my feelings, I feel a profound sense of hope. I've lost two people I cared for dearly but I've gained significant knowledge into myself and my own mind as well as some of the pitfalls I can and will face in a relationship. I feel better armed against them now and I know I will do better next time. I have an opportunity now to start over fresh with this knowledge.
I am still debating Chris's job offer. It may mean giving up my university education, means moving 7 hours from here to a strange city I've been in three times and moving away from all my close friends here. On the plus side... it's a job in a field I'd love to work in and I'm closer to Nicky, Lisa and Courtney. On top of that, it's a completely fresh start from me - I can meet new people and make new friends. And it's living on my own which is a highly attractive prospect considering how frustrated I keep getting here at home - especially after living on my own for a month. But I have twelve months to decide and two parents to argue with over it. Plenty for me to think about.
In any case... that's really all I have on my mind...
Adios
- Dep
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Brief Inquiry
Has anyone talked to James in the past few days? I wish to know if he is alright and alive. Thanks. E-mail me if you have.
- Dep
- Dep
