Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Footsteps
Follow the path
bound in shadow
Seek the truth
burning in night
Learn of love
echoing in moonlight
Follow the Footsteps
made in darkness
Welcome to July 11th, soon to be July 12th.
In trivial news...
I found a copy of The Crow and The Crow II in bittorrent form and am currently downloading them. 10 points to me. They'll be done in five hours (I actually found them yesterday but paused downloading overnight and never resumed). My sole task remaining that I must do before I sleep tonight is redo my resume to include the new job experience - I'll translate that into French tomorrow and then see if I can hook up my printer again so I can get some copies out on Wednesday. The computer program goes well. I am fixing major bugs in it now and have a Beta interface completed to the point where I can test what I have set up. It goes well.
In perhaps not so trivial news...
I feel... I dunno. It's kind of odd. I miss Sarah a bit, but that's so far in the past now that I've already learned to live without her. I miss Courtney and am slightly hurt but I really don't see anything I can do about that. I have reached a state where... I care but I don't care. It perhaps sounds harsh but in a sense it's true. I do care for them and always will, just as I still do for Vicki, but I no longer feel compelled to continue to try. Both have made it abundantly clear they don't want me to try. And so I won't. Having come to this point in my feelings, I feel a profound sense of hope. I've lost two people I cared for dearly but I've gained significant knowledge into myself and my own mind as well as some of the pitfalls I can and will face in a relationship. I feel better armed against them now and I know I will do better next time. I have an opportunity now to start over fresh with this knowledge.
I am still debating Chris's job offer. It may mean giving up my university education, means moving 7 hours from here to a strange city I've been in three times and moving away from all my close friends here. On the plus side... it's a job in a field I'd love to work in and I'm closer to Nicky, Lisa and Courtney. On top of that, it's a completely fresh start from me - I can meet new people and make new friends. And it's living on my own which is a highly attractive prospect considering how frustrated I keep getting here at home - especially after living on my own for a month. But I have twelve months to decide and two parents to argue with over it. Plenty for me to think about.
In any case... that's really all I have on my mind...
Adios
- Dep
// posted by Dep @ 12:34:00 a.m.
