Evil Geniuses in a Nutshell

It always feels good to get stuff done, be able to look at your work and say "I did this." Some people don't understand the pride I take in everything I do, even if I'm not so good at it - so what, I did it. If it's awesome for me, then for me it is awesome. It may be crap compared to what someone else can do, but I have no more claim to perfection than anyone else on this Earth.

I feel good today. The mix of negative and positive emotions is coming out positive today, as I was reminded of the large group of people who'll never abandon me no matter what I do - my family and very close friends - yesterday and I got some stuff done today. And I agree with another one of my friends who went through a similar situation - if you can't be bothered to come speak to me about your problems and resolve them, if you refuse to listen to a word I say and then throw it all back in my face... I can't do anything about that but why should I be bothered to be hurt then? And it does hurt, but I refuse to dwell on that pain now. You wanted to be in the past, you are in the past; you wanted the truth and you've got the truth. Now deal with it and if you don't want me in your life then say so instead of 'subtly' trying to drive me away. It's odd how people change and how some don't know the real meaning of love - they'll say the words either without meaning it or say them then go back on it. I've never, in a romantic situation, said "I love you" to a person I didn't mean it about. And yes I've loved a few people. Perhaps you believe in only loving one person - and that's your decision to make, how exclusive your definition of love is. I have one soulmate in this world and I don't know who it is. I love a lot of people. And I'm really not trying to be mean. I'm sorry if it came across that way. While I completely understand that you've been hurt, I don't think that you understand or even admit that I was hurt as well. You seem to insist on blaming me and I say we blame both or neither of us. If I wanted to, I could make the case for blaming you and a jury of my peers would not convict me, but I won't make that case as I dealt badly with the situation. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to get my point across and you are avoiding the conflict as you always do, avoiding admitting you were wrong at all. I'm always here for you to talk to about this, or for you to call. Feel free to rant, as long as we can have a discussion about it afterwards. If you think I'm wrong, come convince me I'm wrong instead of hiding in the shadows, moping.

But, having come to these conclusions, I feel better - I can't think of anything more I can do at this moment to try and salvage our rapidly declining friendship. I think you've put dating out of the question for a good while now, as it would take a lot to make up for the hurt you've caused in the past few weeks. 'Sides there are other things that are more appealing to me at the moment - you don't seem to want to help yourself and therefore I can't really do anything to help you help yourself. As I said, I feel better as I'm no longer dwelling on the pain and moping, instead I'm trying to move on with my life.

My uncle Scott is getting married in less than two weeks, I'm gonna see if I can take Vicki with me to the wedding. It should be fun, my dad's side of the family knows how to throw a party. (Except for my Nannie who's more conservative than a Catholic) But the rest of my dad's family is quite a laugh most of the time. You have to be there though.

In any case, that's about all for now. Gonna go post a shorter one on MSN.

Laterz

- Dep

// posted by Dep @ 8:55:00 p.m.