Thursday, November 27, 2008
June 1st to Nov 27th
Holy crap, its been awhile. I bet you weren't expecting this, eh? Actually, I doubt anyone reads this anymore. Comment if you do! In no particular order then...
I finished off my awesome computer :D. You can see some pics on Facebook. It runs pretty sweetly, especially compared to other computers I've had. The first day I had it working completely, I put World of Warcraft on... and I never looked back. WoW has been -my- video game since mid-July when I finished my computer (my main is Marissia on Crushridge... and I play Alliance, so bugger off if you're a Horde). Its not just the hype, I'm really enjoying the game play, the graphics and the social aspects the game brings. I've got an awesome guild and just love it all. Enough WoW.
School... went less well. Some people blame video games... and maybe they're right. I'm starting to see a pattern here though and its not connected with video games directly. I seem to have big problems motivating myself to do anything I'm not into... I've done a lot of work on things that interest me: some of my computer programming efforts, some writing projects... I even went to most of my project classes because I got put in charge of the parts of the project which were fascinating. But other than that, and when I simply haven't had anything more interesting to do, I can't seem to drag my ass to class. I find... excuses, things that are stupid even, reasons to avoid going to class. And when I start missing more than a couple of classes, I worry a -lot- what the teacher is going to think of me when I go back... to the point of near-panic attacks and even more avoiding of class. It's a terrible cycle and I can't seem to break out of it, even when I understand completely that this is something I -need- to do. I -need- to pass English and I can't seem to get it done. So... in conclusion... I'm going to go see a therapist, as soon as I can get an appointment scheduled. Maybe they can do something to help me get back on track, because I would really like to go to university and don't want to blow all that money on me skipping class.
Speaking of university... there have been some changes. It seems like Quebec's universities have changed their entrance requirements for comp sci programs and now require what amounts to a lot of science courses (a chemistry, a math and two physics if you believe it). I didn't plan for this, so it looks like Concordia is out as an option for me. Carleton is my second choice, living from home likely, and it looks like that is what will happen. U of O gets moved up to second from third, even though its closer to home slightly.
I'm excited, I've got two fun things planned for tomorrow. First, I'm meeting an -old- friend of mine from PTY whom I haven't seen in a few years at least. I'll get to try out a Japanese restraunt, which I don't think I've ever done. Should be fun :D. Afterwards, I'm meeting a -new- friend of mine with whom I've been having -very- interesting conversations with on the 'net for a few months now. Both promise to be quite fun and exciting :D. And no, they're not "dates". Well the second one isn't. I don't think the first one is, but I could be wrong. Will keep you posted. Would be interesting if it is.
Nothing really awesome has been happening on the relationship front. Couple of interests, but one isn't really interested in me and the other... i'll write about at the end, so you can avoid the emo bits if you prefer.
I started a new project, to write a novel. I have a good outline even and an excellent idea for a plot. Writing is progressing at a slow rate however. More details... not to follow likely.
Ahhh... BDSM. My interest has only grown, especially since beginning discussions on a regular basis with certain people on the Internet. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced this will have to become a regular part of my life and I'm looking for people to help me out by coming with me to Breathless, the local BDSM club. I've been wanting to go for awhile now, but I'm a wuss.. plus they have few events that I think I'd be very interested in. Sadly the whole bondage meetups have continued to fail throughout this semester, since my house isn't fair game any more and we still don't have enough women to support a group.
Travelling... back to Timmins once again I tihnk for this winter break, if Nicky'll have me. I kindof miss it and its small town simplicity. Plus, its the setting of my story, so I need to get some good visual text written there. I may drag along the furball with me so I can have some bus company. And because hopefully it won't go like -last- time lol.
And... that's about it! Time for the emo rant, but first let all the people who will complain to me skip down a couple of paragraphs to the last one.
------
Alright, since you're here, you must want to read this. I don't know why. You're insane. Accept it. I need to get this out.
The story... at the begining of the semester, I met a new girl. Lets call her M. I really liked M, a lot more than I've liked somebody in a long time. She was gorgeous, funny and not broken at all. And she seemed into me. But! The downside is, she had a boyfriend. So I tried not to consider it too much, though it was there. Then, last weekend, she broke up with her boyfriend and seemed happy about it - they've been going through some problems I hear. So we're talking online and I ask her if she has anybody else in mind. Shockingly, I get an answer... yes, she is, two guys she kinda likes right now... one of them is another guy at school and the other is... me.
Electricity shoots through my body and I'm silly happy for the next day. Thinking about gives me nothing but good feelings and thoughts of what could happen. I, for the first time in a -long- time have 0 doubts about what I'm supposed to be doing and how I feel. I -like- like her and I can't deny an ounce of that feeling, even to today. And I've been waiting for awhile to let her know... since it seemed rude to go up to someone I met recently and tell them I like them when they have a boyfriend and I barely know her. But I know her better now, I'm aware of some of her flaws (and she does have them). Its awesome though, this sudden leap in my heart when I think of her. The bus ride to school on Monday was pure awesomeness. We even have a date planned for the next weekend, going to laser tag.
I get to school, find my old friend Vanessa and tell her about the events of the weekend... and I get the reply "But she has a boyfriend". "No, they broke up on the weekend, like I said" "No, Rob, you don't understand, she has a -new- boyfriend".
Oh.
Shit.
Honestly, my week has been crap since that happened. I don't want to sound emo... I really don't. But it's fucked me up, since I was so high on the idea of her liking me and me liking her... and then to have the whole house of cards fall down on me. Maybe I built myself up too high, maybe I expected too much. Maybe I'm a fool or maybe its bad karma like some people say.
So I try and check out what Vanessa has told me, asking M herself if they're dating and I get a very vague answer "Kinda, maybe, sortof, but things could change, I have to go to class now". The day afterwards, I hear from another friend of mine that M just doesn't know how to tell me about her new relationship, because she knows how it'll hurt me.
Honestly...
1) This is pure mindfuck. You don't tell somebody you're interested in them and another person, then date the other person the next day unless you were lying about being interested in them in the first place or you're a lot more confused than you seem to be. Its high school drama that doesn't need to happen. Grow up and deal with things maturely.
2) Stringing people along only hurts them worse because they have further to fall the more they believe you like them. Don't do it. BAD.
3) Don't lie to me. Ever. Please. It destroys trust and without trust, friendship is nothing. If you can't talk to me about what's going on, write a letter or an e-mail. Explain it clearly and apologize for your mistakes. We can move on hopefully... after all, the furball and I are still friends after last New Years.
The worst part is... I really thought there was a chance here. Everything seemed right, everything was clicking in my head and there was nothing out of place; nothing that couldn't be overcome. I believed, for about 24 hours, that I could be happy in a relationship soon.
And I got fucked.
------
Good night y'all, I need some sleep before my busy day tomorrow.
I finished off my awesome computer :D. You can see some pics on Facebook. It runs pretty sweetly, especially compared to other computers I've had. The first day I had it working completely, I put World of Warcraft on... and I never looked back. WoW has been -my- video game since mid-July when I finished my computer (my main is Marissia on Crushridge... and I play Alliance, so bugger off if you're a Horde). Its not just the hype, I'm really enjoying the game play, the graphics and the social aspects the game brings. I've got an awesome guild and just love it all. Enough WoW.
School... went less well. Some people blame video games... and maybe they're right. I'm starting to see a pattern here though and its not connected with video games directly. I seem to have big problems motivating myself to do anything I'm not into... I've done a lot of work on things that interest me: some of my computer programming efforts, some writing projects... I even went to most of my project classes because I got put in charge of the parts of the project which were fascinating. But other than that, and when I simply haven't had anything more interesting to do, I can't seem to drag my ass to class. I find... excuses, things that are stupid even, reasons to avoid going to class. And when I start missing more than a couple of classes, I worry a -lot- what the teacher is going to think of me when I go back... to the point of near-panic attacks and even more avoiding of class. It's a terrible cycle and I can't seem to break out of it, even when I understand completely that this is something I -need- to do. I -need- to pass English and I can't seem to get it done. So... in conclusion... I'm going to go see a therapist, as soon as I can get an appointment scheduled. Maybe they can do something to help me get back on track, because I would really like to go to university and don't want to blow all that money on me skipping class.
Speaking of university... there have been some changes. It seems like Quebec's universities have changed their entrance requirements for comp sci programs and now require what amounts to a lot of science courses (a chemistry, a math and two physics if you believe it). I didn't plan for this, so it looks like Concordia is out as an option for me. Carleton is my second choice, living from home likely, and it looks like that is what will happen. U of O gets moved up to second from third, even though its closer to home slightly.
I'm excited, I've got two fun things planned for tomorrow. First, I'm meeting an -old- friend of mine from PTY whom I haven't seen in a few years at least. I'll get to try out a Japanese restraunt, which I don't think I've ever done. Should be fun :D. Afterwards, I'm meeting a -new- friend of mine with whom I've been having -very- interesting conversations with on the 'net for a few months now. Both promise to be quite fun and exciting :D. And no, they're not "dates". Well the second one isn't. I don't think the first one is, but I could be wrong. Will keep you posted. Would be interesting if it is.
Nothing really awesome has been happening on the relationship front. Couple of interests, but one isn't really interested in me and the other... i'll write about at the end, so you can avoid the emo bits if you prefer.
I started a new project, to write a novel. I have a good outline even and an excellent idea for a plot. Writing is progressing at a slow rate however. More details... not to follow likely.
Ahhh... BDSM. My interest has only grown, especially since beginning discussions on a regular basis with certain people on the Internet. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced this will have to become a regular part of my life and I'm looking for people to help me out by coming with me to Breathless, the local BDSM club. I've been wanting to go for awhile now, but I'm a wuss.. plus they have few events that I think I'd be very interested in. Sadly the whole bondage meetups have continued to fail throughout this semester, since my house isn't fair game any more and we still don't have enough women to support a group.
Travelling... back to Timmins once again I tihnk for this winter break, if Nicky'll have me. I kindof miss it and its small town simplicity. Plus, its the setting of my story, so I need to get some good visual text written there. I may drag along the furball with me so I can have some bus company. And because hopefully it won't go like -last- time lol.
And... that's about it! Time for the emo rant, but first let all the people who will complain to me skip down a couple of paragraphs to the last one.
------
Alright, since you're here, you must want to read this. I don't know why. You're insane. Accept it. I need to get this out.
The story... at the begining of the semester, I met a new girl. Lets call her M. I really liked M, a lot more than I've liked somebody in a long time. She was gorgeous, funny and not broken at all. And she seemed into me. But! The downside is, she had a boyfriend. So I tried not to consider it too much, though it was there. Then, last weekend, she broke up with her boyfriend and seemed happy about it - they've been going through some problems I hear. So we're talking online and I ask her if she has anybody else in mind. Shockingly, I get an answer... yes, she is, two guys she kinda likes right now... one of them is another guy at school and the other is... me.
Electricity shoots through my body and I'm silly happy for the next day. Thinking about gives me nothing but good feelings and thoughts of what could happen. I, for the first time in a -long- time have 0 doubts about what I'm supposed to be doing and how I feel. I -like- like her and I can't deny an ounce of that feeling, even to today. And I've been waiting for awhile to let her know... since it seemed rude to go up to someone I met recently and tell them I like them when they have a boyfriend and I barely know her. But I know her better now, I'm aware of some of her flaws (and she does have them). Its awesome though, this sudden leap in my heart when I think of her. The bus ride to school on Monday was pure awesomeness. We even have a date planned for the next weekend, going to laser tag.
I get to school, find my old friend Vanessa and tell her about the events of the weekend... and I get the reply "But she has a boyfriend". "No, they broke up on the weekend, like I said" "No, Rob, you don't understand, she has a -new- boyfriend".
Oh.
Shit.
Honestly, my week has been crap since that happened. I don't want to sound emo... I really don't. But it's fucked me up, since I was so high on the idea of her liking me and me liking her... and then to have the whole house of cards fall down on me. Maybe I built myself up too high, maybe I expected too much. Maybe I'm a fool or maybe its bad karma like some people say.
So I try and check out what Vanessa has told me, asking M herself if they're dating and I get a very vague answer "Kinda, maybe, sortof, but things could change, I have to go to class now". The day afterwards, I hear from another friend of mine that M just doesn't know how to tell me about her new relationship, because she knows how it'll hurt me.
Honestly...
1) This is pure mindfuck. You don't tell somebody you're interested in them and another person, then date the other person the next day unless you were lying about being interested in them in the first place or you're a lot more confused than you seem to be. Its high school drama that doesn't need to happen. Grow up and deal with things maturely.
2) Stringing people along only hurts them worse because they have further to fall the more they believe you like them. Don't do it. BAD.
3) Don't lie to me. Ever. Please. It destroys trust and without trust, friendship is nothing. If you can't talk to me about what's going on, write a letter or an e-mail. Explain it clearly and apologize for your mistakes. We can move on hopefully... after all, the furball and I are still friends after last New Years.
The worst part is... I really thought there was a chance here. Everything seemed right, everything was clicking in my head and there was nothing out of place; nothing that couldn't be overcome. I believed, for about 24 hours, that I could be happy in a relationship soon.
And I got fucked.
------
Good night y'all, I need some sleep before my busy day tomorrow.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Nine Days Later...
Nine days later, work is going well. Sometimes there is a lack of work, but never for very long. My paycheque is nice and my computer plans are going swimmingly.
I started a new blog for my political and similar related writings, you can use the Corner of Sanity link on the right to view it.
Being single is, well, not as fun as not being single but I'm dealing. Life is filled with work, so I don't have much time to dwell on things I shouldn't.
I do believe there may be plans for a pool party at my place, should enough people be interested. Will keep you guys posted on that.
And now, for more Guitar Hero! TTYL!
I started a new blog for my political and similar related writings, you can use the Corner of Sanity link on the right to view it.
Being single is, well, not as fun as not being single but I'm dealing. Life is filled with work, so I don't have much time to dwell on things I shouldn't.
I do believe there may be plans for a pool party at my place, should enough people be interested. Will keep you guys posted on that.
And now, for more Guitar Hero! TTYL!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Le Job & Le Breakup
Welcome, my audience, to my humble abode. Tonight, it is time for another journey into the depths that is my mind...
Actually, it won't be very long. I'm exhausted and I have work tomorrow.
Yes, I have a job. It is cool, so far, and I have good vibes about it. My co-workers seem like interesting people and I think I can relate to them a little more than those at my last job (nothing against those people, they were great people, but not... like me). This is going to be fun, I think. Tomorrow will prove me right or wrong, as its my first day of actual work.
Therefore, my plans to build my own PC are on. By the end of June, I'll be ordering all the parts and have some fun setting it up one weekend. Its gonna be electrifying - perhaps we are in need of a celebration of sorts around then? Alcohol and computer games, how much more fun does it get?
Sadly, as some of you know, I broke up with my girlfriend a couple of days ago - and I think its for the best. See my last post if you care for the details of why, I'm moving on to a better place now and new opportunities.
Speaking of really cool things... ROBS NEW COMPUTER! WOOHOO!
Ok, I've been sufficiently exuberant on the topic of my new PC. Because it's just that cool. Or, it will be, when it comes together.
Anyways, for those of you who are curious, I'm available on Gmail most of the time, so if you need me, you can send me a message on there, or an email to my gmail. If you don't have it, send me a message somehow - I prefer not to have spam bots pick it up (though Gmail does an excellent job of filtering said spam).
And now... to bed! G'night.
- Rob
Actually, it won't be very long. I'm exhausted and I have work tomorrow.
Yes, I have a job. It is cool, so far, and I have good vibes about it. My co-workers seem like interesting people and I think I can relate to them a little more than those at my last job (nothing against those people, they were great people, but not... like me). This is going to be fun, I think. Tomorrow will prove me right or wrong, as its my first day of actual work.
Therefore, my plans to build my own PC are on. By the end of June, I'll be ordering all the parts and have some fun setting it up one weekend. Its gonna be electrifying - perhaps we are in need of a celebration of sorts around then? Alcohol and computer games, how much more fun does it get?
Sadly, as some of you know, I broke up with my girlfriend a couple of days ago - and I think its for the best. See my last post if you care for the details of why, I'm moving on to a better place now and new opportunities.
Speaking of really cool things... ROBS NEW COMPUTER! WOOHOO!
Ok, I've been sufficiently exuberant on the topic of my new PC. Because it's just that cool. Or, it will be, when it comes together.
Anyways, for those of you who are curious, I'm available on Gmail most of the time, so if you need me, you can send me a message on there, or an email to my gmail. If you don't have it, send me a message somehow - I prefer not to have spam bots pick it up (though Gmail does an excellent job of filtering said spam).
And now... to bed! G'night.
- Rob
Friday, May 16, 2008
Ok, so... an update finally
Finally, an update.
I'm not sure why I haven't written lately - at first, it seemed a lack of motivation. With things sloping down in January, I buried myself in school work and the people at school. All that was at home was memories of a winter vacation with some definite bumps in it. But after that, I left my anger behind and realized there are new and fresh possibilities here... and I haven't looked back. Many of my online friends have missed my online presence as of late - I've been going out and doing things or playing video games a lot lately.
Some highlights of the preceding few months now I guess....
I started a BDSM club for people at Heritage. Went fairly well, but had the downside of (a) organizing it is a lot of work and (b) not enough female participants. Right now, our meetings are kindof on hiatus until we manage to find some more females to join our evenings. If you're interested, drop me a line eh ;)
I'm finally finished Computer Science. I handed in my last assignment in this program today :). Sadly, I need to return next year and finish two Englishes - but I'll be in Science and taking a few Science courses too...
So what am I doing until next year? I located a wonderful job building web applications with a company in Ottawa, run by former Heritage students. Pay is 17.50/hour, which isn't bad :) definitely worthwhile for my summer and probably continuing as long as possible for as many hours as possible.
And, with some of that money, I'll be building my own computer. My laptop finally went ka-plunk on me, so I decided to build my own desktop PC this summer with some of the money I'll be getting.
Will I be going to university is an excellent question I keep asking myself and I have no idea - I think I'd like to, but I'd also like to make some money and relax for a bit. Work is easy, school is hard lol. Leaving my options open at this point.
---
So, finally I'm going to "brag" about my girlfriend. Yes I have a girlfriend. Shocking, I know, especially because I didn't go around to all of you and be like "ZOMFG, I HAS GF!". The reason? She asked me not to tell people. The reason for that? Well, I know there is one and it does, kindof make sense. But you know me - I want to tell people that I'm dating somebody.
Actually, to be honest, I'm not here to brag. The real reason I'm writing is, I think, because of the relationship.
Its... uncomfortable to have to hide our relationship. One part of me understands the reasons... the other, more paranoid, part of me just thinks its a cover-up for her secretly hating me (or something along those lines). You think it can't happen? I recently found out that two people at school did the same thing - they dated, but she asked they keep it a secret because she was embarrassed about dating him. Not to mention keeping my hands to myself is difficult under normal circumstances.
I can tack on the fact that I haven't seen or heard very much of her in the past three weeks... now, granted, apparently she's been sick... and spending time completed course work. But even when she's at school in the same room and she knows I'm there, she doesn't come over and say hi. Part of the cover? Or a lack of wanting to talk to me?
Finally, at the core, is the fact that she's young. Not age-wise, but... maturity-wise. She's still back in high school and I... I'm long past high school. We have different ideas of what life is all about, different priorities and different interests. So far the only thing that we really have in common is (a) our sexual interests and (b) vaguely similar viewpoints on the world. Heck, I can't even say that really because mine are very positive and her's... not so much. She's very negative, pessimistic and.... just plain emo. I can't blame her though, its not her fault for reasons I can't get into. Its not just teenage angst (though I'm sure thats a part of it). But... can I deal with it?
And the worst part is, I knew it going into the relationship. She told me, she warned me, and I said I could deal with it and help her out. But I'm beginning to wonder if I can or not. And hell, what kind of basis is that for a relationship anyways?
I hate breaking up with people, because I can't deal with people who are in pain - I want to take it all away and make their lives better. But what about my life? Isn't it time for a little bit of Robert loving?
Other interests... there are a few. All of them have problems - one is totally in love with another guy, one has her own problems to deal with and the rest live oh so far away (seriously, maybe I should just move to Northern Ontario?).
In my head, I know the right thing for me to do is to go to her and tell her everything I'm feeling and see where it gets me. But then I hit snag B... she seems the type to do anything to make the other people happy. Which is part of the problem, because I want somebody who's going to be themselves, not try to be who makes me happy. It'll only make her miserable in the long run anyways.
And I know (you don't have to comment to tell me this) that if I drag it out, it'll only make both of our lives more miserable in the long run. But how do you tell somebody you like, maybe even like a lot, that you just can't deal with their problems at the moment when you already told them you did? Help me Dan Savage, you're my only hope...
I think I definitely have to remember for next time not to make any promises I don't want to keep.
----
Anyways, I think I'm going to go move the laundry over soon and then go to bed.... its been a long day. I did a lot of shopping - I got some new clothes for work :).
G'night :)
- Rob
I'm not sure why I haven't written lately - at first, it seemed a lack of motivation. With things sloping down in January, I buried myself in school work and the people at school. All that was at home was memories of a winter vacation with some definite bumps in it. But after that, I left my anger behind and realized there are new and fresh possibilities here... and I haven't looked back. Many of my online friends have missed my online presence as of late - I've been going out and doing things or playing video games a lot lately.
Some highlights of the preceding few months now I guess....
I started a BDSM club for people at Heritage. Went fairly well, but had the downside of (a) organizing it is a lot of work and (b) not enough female participants. Right now, our meetings are kindof on hiatus until we manage to find some more females to join our evenings. If you're interested, drop me a line eh ;)
I'm finally finished Computer Science. I handed in my last assignment in this program today :). Sadly, I need to return next year and finish two Englishes - but I'll be in Science and taking a few Science courses too...
So what am I doing until next year? I located a wonderful job building web applications with a company in Ottawa, run by former Heritage students. Pay is 17.50/hour, which isn't bad :) definitely worthwhile for my summer and probably continuing as long as possible for as many hours as possible.
And, with some of that money, I'll be building my own computer. My laptop finally went ka-plunk on me, so I decided to build my own desktop PC this summer with some of the money I'll be getting.
Will I be going to university is an excellent question I keep asking myself and I have no idea - I think I'd like to, but I'd also like to make some money and relax for a bit. Work is easy, school is hard lol. Leaving my options open at this point.
---
So, finally I'm going to "brag" about my girlfriend. Yes I have a girlfriend. Shocking, I know, especially because I didn't go around to all of you and be like "ZOMFG, I HAS GF!". The reason? She asked me not to tell people. The reason for that? Well, I know there is one and it does, kindof make sense. But you know me - I want to tell people that I'm dating somebody.
Actually, to be honest, I'm not here to brag. The real reason I'm writing is, I think, because of the relationship.
Its... uncomfortable to have to hide our relationship. One part of me understands the reasons... the other, more paranoid, part of me just thinks its a cover-up for her secretly hating me (or something along those lines). You think it can't happen? I recently found out that two people at school did the same thing - they dated, but she asked they keep it a secret because she was embarrassed about dating him. Not to mention keeping my hands to myself is difficult under normal circumstances.
I can tack on the fact that I haven't seen or heard very much of her in the past three weeks... now, granted, apparently she's been sick... and spending time completed course work. But even when she's at school in the same room and she knows I'm there, she doesn't come over and say hi. Part of the cover? Or a lack of wanting to talk to me?
Finally, at the core, is the fact that she's young. Not age-wise, but... maturity-wise. She's still back in high school and I... I'm long past high school. We have different ideas of what life is all about, different priorities and different interests. So far the only thing that we really have in common is (a) our sexual interests and (b) vaguely similar viewpoints on the world. Heck, I can't even say that really because mine are very positive and her's... not so much. She's very negative, pessimistic and.... just plain emo. I can't blame her though, its not her fault for reasons I can't get into. Its not just teenage angst (though I'm sure thats a part of it). But... can I deal with it?
And the worst part is, I knew it going into the relationship. She told me, she warned me, and I said I could deal with it and help her out. But I'm beginning to wonder if I can or not. And hell, what kind of basis is that for a relationship anyways?
I hate breaking up with people, because I can't deal with people who are in pain - I want to take it all away and make their lives better. But what about my life? Isn't it time for a little bit of Robert loving?
Other interests... there are a few. All of them have problems - one is totally in love with another guy, one has her own problems to deal with and the rest live oh so far away (seriously, maybe I should just move to Northern Ontario?).
In my head, I know the right thing for me to do is to go to her and tell her everything I'm feeling and see where it gets me. But then I hit snag B... she seems the type to do anything to make the other people happy. Which is part of the problem, because I want somebody who's going to be themselves, not try to be who makes me happy. It'll only make her miserable in the long run anyways.
And I know (you don't have to comment to tell me this) that if I drag it out, it'll only make both of our lives more miserable in the long run. But how do you tell somebody you like, maybe even like a lot, that you just can't deal with their problems at the moment when you already told them you did? Help me Dan Savage, you're my only hope...
I think I definitely have to remember for next time not to make any promises I don't want to keep.
----
Anyways, I think I'm going to go move the laundry over soon and then go to bed.... its been a long day. I did a lot of shopping - I got some new clothes for work :).
G'night :)
- Rob
Even more background music for my life...
I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need this in my life
I think I'm just scared that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need this in my life
I think I'm just scared that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
Thursday, April 17, 2008
More Ambience (Yes, it's a Meatloaf mood)
The sea is whipping the sky
The sky is whipping the sea
You can hide away forever from the storm
But you'll never hide away from me
The icy cold will cut us like a knife in the dark
And we may lose everything in the wind
But the Northern Lights are burning
And they're giving off sparks
I want to wrap myself around you
like a winter skin
You know I'm onto your scent
We're near the end of the chase
Take a look out your window
and I'll be there in the night
Your love is so close
that I can almost taste it
The icy cold will cut us
like a knife in the dark
And we may lose everything in the wind
But the Northern Lights are burning
And they're giving off sparks
I want to wrap myself
around you like a winter skin
You've been living your life
like a girl in a cage
And you whisper when
I want you to shout
And I wonder why you
wanna go on sleeping
When there's nothing left to dream about
But you better remember
If it's something I want
then it's something I need
I wasn't built for comfort
I was built for speed
If it's something I want
then it's something I need
I wasn't built for comfort
I was built for speed
And I know that
I'm gonna be like this forever
I'm never gonna be what I should
And you think that
I'll be bad for just a little while
But I know that I'll be bad for good
I know that I'll be bad for good
I know that I'll be bad for good
Your eyes are darker than sin
And I've been watching them glow
Take a chance on a promise
and a roll of the dice
Put your foot on the gas,
let it go, let it go, let it go
You've been living your life
like a girl in a cage
And you whisper when
I want you to shout
And wonder why you
wanna go on sleeping
When there's nothing left to dream about
But you better remember
If it's something I want
then it's something I need
I wasn't built for comfort
I was built for speed
If it's something I want
then it's something I need
I wasn't built for comfort
I was built for speed
And I know that I'm gonna be
like this forever
I'm never gonna be what I should
And you think that
I'll be bad for just a little while
And you think that
I'll be bad for just a little while
And you think that
I'll be bad for just a little while
But I know that I'll be bad for good
I know that I'll be bad for good
I know that I'll be bad for good
I know that I'll be bad for good
Bad for good
Bad for good
For the good
of some thrills on a long frigid night
For the good
of the fire in your soul
For the good
of the kiss let me hold you so tight
For the good
of getting out of control
For the good
of the action and a race in the dark
For the good
of those chills up your spine
For the good
of the rock and the roll in your heart
For the good
of what's yours and what's mine
For the good
of believing in a life after birth
For the good
of your body so bright
For the good
of the search for some heaven on earth
For the good
of one hell of a night
For the good
of one hell of a night
For the good
of the action and a race in the dark
For the good
of the fire in your soul
For the good
of the rock and the roll in your heart
For the good
of getting out of control
For the good
of believing in a life after birth
For the good
of your body so bright
For the good
of the search for some heaven on earth
For the good
of one hell of a night, for the good of one hell of a night
God speed!
God speed!
God speed!
speed us away!
God speed!
God speed!
God speed!
speed us away!
I'll be bad for good (God speed)
I'll be bad for good (God speed)
I'll be bad for good (God speed)
Speed us away, speed us away,
speed us away, speed us away
The sea is whipping the sky
The sky is whipping the sea
You can hide away forever from the storm
But you'll never hide away from me
The icy cold will cut us like a knife in the dark
And we may lose everything in the wind
But the Northern Lights are burning
And they're giving off sparks
I want to wrap myself
around you like a winter skin
I know that you can be bad
At least a little while
But if you give me a chance,
give me one little chance
And give me all the love that you should
Then instead of
being bad for just a little while
Then instead of
being bad for just a little while
Then instead of
being bad for just a little while
I'm gonna make you bad for good
I'm gonna make you bad for good
I'm gonna make you bad for good
I know that you'll be bad for good
You'll be bad for good
The sky is whipping the sea
You can hide away forever from the storm
But you'll never hide away from me
The icy cold will cut us like a knife in the dark
And we may lose everything in the wind
But the Northern Lights are burning
And they're giving off sparks
I want to wrap myself around you
like a winter skin
You know I'm onto your scent
We're near the end of the chase
Take a look out your window
and I'll be there in the night
Your love is so close
that I can almost taste it
The icy cold will cut us
like a knife in the dark
And we may lose everything in the wind
But the Northern Lights are burning
And they're giving off sparks
I want to wrap myself
around you like a winter skin
You've been living your life
like a girl in a cage
And you whisper when
I want you to shout
And I wonder why you
wanna go on sleeping
When there's nothing left to dream about
But you better remember
If it's something I want
then it's something I need
I wasn't built for comfort
I was built for speed
If it's something I want
then it's something I need
I wasn't built for comfort
I was built for speed
And I know that
I'm gonna be like this forever
I'm never gonna be what I should
And you think that
I'll be bad for just a little while
But I know that I'll be bad for good
I know that I'll be bad for good
I know that I'll be bad for good
Your eyes are darker than sin
And I've been watching them glow
Take a chance on a promise
and a roll of the dice
Put your foot on the gas,
let it go, let it go, let it go
You've been living your life
like a girl in a cage
And you whisper when
I want you to shout
And wonder why you
wanna go on sleeping
When there's nothing left to dream about
But you better remember
If it's something I want
then it's something I need
I wasn't built for comfort
I was built for speed
If it's something I want
then it's something I need
I wasn't built for comfort
I was built for speed
And I know that I'm gonna be
like this forever
I'm never gonna be what I should
And you think that
I'll be bad for just a little while
And you think that
I'll be bad for just a little while
And you think that
I'll be bad for just a little while
But I know that I'll be bad for good
I know that I'll be bad for good
I know that I'll be bad for good
I know that I'll be bad for good
Bad for good
Bad for good
For the good
of some thrills on a long frigid night
For the good
of the fire in your soul
For the good
of the kiss let me hold you so tight
For the good
of getting out of control
For the good
of the action and a race in the dark
For the good
of those chills up your spine
For the good
of the rock and the roll in your heart
For the good
of what's yours and what's mine
For the good
of believing in a life after birth
For the good
of your body so bright
For the good
of the search for some heaven on earth
For the good
of one hell of a night
For the good
of one hell of a night
For the good
of the action and a race in the dark
For the good
of the fire in your soul
For the good
of the rock and the roll in your heart
For the good
of getting out of control
For the good
of believing in a life after birth
For the good
of your body so bright
For the good
of the search for some heaven on earth
For the good
of one hell of a night, for the good of one hell of a night
God speed!
God speed!
God speed!
speed us away!
God speed!
God speed!
God speed!
speed us away!
I'll be bad for good (God speed)
I'll be bad for good (God speed)
I'll be bad for good (God speed)
Speed us away, speed us away,
speed us away, speed us away
The sea is whipping the sky
The sky is whipping the sea
You can hide away forever from the storm
But you'll never hide away from me
The icy cold will cut us like a knife in the dark
And we may lose everything in the wind
But the Northern Lights are burning
And they're giving off sparks
I want to wrap myself
around you like a winter skin
I know that you can be bad
At least a little while
But if you give me a chance,
give me one little chance
And give me all the love that you should
Then instead of
being bad for just a little while
Then instead of
being bad for just a little while
Then instead of
being bad for just a little while
I'm gonna make you bad for good
I'm gonna make you bad for good
I'm gonna make you bad for good
I know that you'll be bad for good
You'll be bad for good
Ambient Music (that's all folks!)
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and Ia had ever made
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and Ia had ever made
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,
Thursday, January 17, 2008
You want an update? I'll give you an update!
School is excellent :). Thanks for asking. I've found some likeminded people to explore some cool topics with, and this is all leading in a promising direction. Class remains difficult for me to go to, but I've been managing. I just have to stop staying up so f*ing late lol.
The situation, as I've been calling it in my discussion with various friends (most of whom just listen to me vent and then tell me to tell them to fuck off), is... well... almost over I guess. I didn't get a reply yet, but my sources tell me that she's read the e-mail... two days ago. No reply for two days? Means something - means either she's not sure how to tell me to fuck off (doesn't want to deal with it) OR she's put herself into a sticky situation where she doesn't want to tell me to fuck off BUT at the same time, can't tell me what's really going on in her mind. Of the two, the first sounds like cynical paranoia and the second sounds like wishful thinking. At the moment, I'm inclined to go with the former. So I've been working on putting the whole thing behind me. Not to say I'm going to ignore it... there will be consequences, especially for him. He should know better - him and I will not be remaining friends after this, and will probably not be speaking for awhile (unless he can find some miracle way of changing my mind... and I can't think of anything that can). She... I understand a bit better, but still. Two days with no reply? I'm leaving it to her to reopen the lines of communication... and I believe my trust in her is diminshed. I know I can no longer trust him anywhere near as much as I once did.
In the meantime, I've started encouraging open discussion on sex and kink at school and it seems to be working. There are various plots and plans being examined and I think it's going to go well. I have one to introduce myself, when I have some time to get on it.
I've also started the .... corruption of somebody I met recently. (Maybe I even like her a little bit, but I'm leaving that to time given my current situation lol - not many people would be inclined to believe me when I say I like them coming off what I just did). They're taking it quite well and seem to be enjoying it. I think I've started somebody along the path to something quite enjoyable, and I hope she enjoys every step of the way lol.
Soon I hope I will be able to relax about this whole... messed up situation. I can feel myself starting to relax - having school, friends and the corruption effort to distract me certainly helps. I find I don't even think about it... and I'm sure one day I won't. And then another day. And thus it begins to fade.
Tomorrow, I think I'll talk about selfconfidence, but right now... TO BED!
~ Dep...
I am an amazing person. There are people who are proud to know me. I have accomplished many great things in my life and I have an understanding of the world that not many people do. I understand. I know. I see. I feel. I learn. Maybe I'm not such an awful person to know after all.
The situation, as I've been calling it in my discussion with various friends (most of whom just listen to me vent and then tell me to tell them to fuck off), is... well... almost over I guess. I didn't get a reply yet, but my sources tell me that she's read the e-mail... two days ago. No reply for two days? Means something - means either she's not sure how to tell me to fuck off (doesn't want to deal with it) OR she's put herself into a sticky situation where she doesn't want to tell me to fuck off BUT at the same time, can't tell me what's really going on in her mind. Of the two, the first sounds like cynical paranoia and the second sounds like wishful thinking. At the moment, I'm inclined to go with the former. So I've been working on putting the whole thing behind me. Not to say I'm going to ignore it... there will be consequences, especially for him. He should know better - him and I will not be remaining friends after this, and will probably not be speaking for awhile (unless he can find some miracle way of changing my mind... and I can't think of anything that can). She... I understand a bit better, but still. Two days with no reply? I'm leaving it to her to reopen the lines of communication... and I believe my trust in her is diminshed. I know I can no longer trust him anywhere near as much as I once did.
In the meantime, I've started encouraging open discussion on sex and kink at school and it seems to be working. There are various plots and plans being examined and I think it's going to go well. I have one to introduce myself, when I have some time to get on it.
I've also started the .... corruption of somebody I met recently. (Maybe I even like her a little bit, but I'm leaving that to time given my current situation lol - not many people would be inclined to believe me when I say I like them coming off what I just did). They're taking it quite well and seem to be enjoying it. I think I've started somebody along the path to something quite enjoyable, and I hope she enjoys every step of the way lol.
Soon I hope I will be able to relax about this whole... messed up situation. I can feel myself starting to relax - having school, friends and the corruption effort to distract me certainly helps. I find I don't even think about it... and I'm sure one day I won't. And then another day. And thus it begins to fade.
Tomorrow, I think I'll talk about selfconfidence, but right now... TO BED!
~ Dep...
I am an amazing person. There are people who are proud to know me. I have accomplished many great things in my life and I have an understanding of the world that not many people do. I understand. I know. I see. I feel. I learn. Maybe I'm not such an awful person to know after all.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
...
I don't feel any better.
My head is focusing on "what if"s and trying to predict what will happen. On the bus home today, it demanded I examine every move I made and wonder why I couldn't have been more open. I think I'm good with the answers I came up with - initial nervousness from talking to somebody I knew there was a possibility of a relationship with. I wonder if it happens to everyone. I could have done better... maybe. But that would require me to be somebody I'm not usually. So tough cookies.
I dread getting a reply to the e-mails I sent. I fear... I'm not sure what I fear. Right now I have a meager amount of hope left that we can salvage this. Possibly a fool's hope. I fear I know what the reply will be. Then again, when I get a reply... at least I will know and can move on as appropriate. The fact she hasn't checked her e-mail in a day and a half?...
I will be patient and wait for a reply. It's possible that she doesn't know what was going on in my head, and I must be understanding about that. I can forgive a lot, especially when people don't know how their actions are impacting me.
But... if they take it to the next level... he can never receive my forgiveness. Right now, he needs to reearn a lot of trust. I'm sure he'll complain about how he never wanted to hurt me, etc - he had to make a choice, he says. I don't see how the two options are mutually exclusive. I don't understand why he's had to take it as far as he has. And I don't understand why he's incapable of communicating with me. And... if what he's told other friends of mine is true... about his romantic involvement... he's... well... I try not to think of that as a possibility.
I am thankful that one of her best friends is Freya, who knows me better than I know myself and gives good advice. I am thankful that I have her as... a portal of understanding into a situation where I've been hopelessly confused about what the hell is going on on a number of occasions. As well as for moral support and such. I know that if she turns to Freya and asks questions, the answers she'll get are good. But the answers from him? He's not... he doesn't get me. I know he doesn't, just as I don't get him. We have different personalities, vastly different personalities. And... frankly... I don't know if he can give good advice.
Life will be full of problems. Maybe it's your family life. Maybe it's your professional life. Maybe it's your shitty friends. Or maybe you have deep issues from your past. Maybe it's your love life. Regardless of the source, you can't shut down and ignore your problems until they go away. That's a temporary solution and, unless your problem is temporary (or infrequent), then you can't deal with it that way. Locking your heart and tossing out the key... sure you don't have to feel the bad. But you miss out on the good :). So deal with the problem. Find a way of removing it from your life, or of resolving the issues. Sure there are complications... and some of them can't be ignored. But sometimes you have to put yourself first and let other people find their own ways out of the problem. And if you can't... if you really can't... you need to seek help from somebody who can help you. That's always been my criteria for when to seek help from a professional - if you can't do it yourself, after trying. Because living your life ignoring all emotions will only hurt those who love you, even if they understand... even if you think you're doing it so it won't hurt as much. In the end, it'll only hurt more... moping never solves anything. If there's one thing I can say I've learned from my own relationships, it's that I need to be more proactive in expressing my problems and trying to find solutions to them.
And that is my rant for the day. See people at school tomorrow.
My head is focusing on "what if"s and trying to predict what will happen. On the bus home today, it demanded I examine every move I made and wonder why I couldn't have been more open. I think I'm good with the answers I came up with - initial nervousness from talking to somebody I knew there was a possibility of a relationship with. I wonder if it happens to everyone. I could have done better... maybe. But that would require me to be somebody I'm not usually. So tough cookies.
I dread getting a reply to the e-mails I sent. I fear... I'm not sure what I fear. Right now I have a meager amount of hope left that we can salvage this. Possibly a fool's hope. I fear I know what the reply will be. Then again, when I get a reply... at least I will know and can move on as appropriate. The fact she hasn't checked her e-mail in a day and a half?...
I will be patient and wait for a reply. It's possible that she doesn't know what was going on in my head, and I must be understanding about that. I can forgive a lot, especially when people don't know how their actions are impacting me.
But... if they take it to the next level... he can never receive my forgiveness. Right now, he needs to reearn a lot of trust. I'm sure he'll complain about how he never wanted to hurt me, etc - he had to make a choice, he says. I don't see how the two options are mutually exclusive. I don't understand why he's had to take it as far as he has. And I don't understand why he's incapable of communicating with me. And... if what he's told other friends of mine is true... about his romantic involvement... he's... well... I try not to think of that as a possibility.
I am thankful that one of her best friends is Freya, who knows me better than I know myself and gives good advice. I am thankful that I have her as... a portal of understanding into a situation where I've been hopelessly confused about what the hell is going on on a number of occasions. As well as for moral support and such. I know that if she turns to Freya and asks questions, the answers she'll get are good. But the answers from him? He's not... he doesn't get me. I know he doesn't, just as I don't get him. We have different personalities, vastly different personalities. And... frankly... I don't know if he can give good advice.
Life will be full of problems. Maybe it's your family life. Maybe it's your professional life. Maybe it's your shitty friends. Or maybe you have deep issues from your past. Maybe it's your love life. Regardless of the source, you can't shut down and ignore your problems until they go away. That's a temporary solution and, unless your problem is temporary (or infrequent), then you can't deal with it that way. Locking your heart and tossing out the key... sure you don't have to feel the bad. But you miss out on the good :). So deal with the problem. Find a way of removing it from your life, or of resolving the issues. Sure there are complications... and some of them can't be ignored. But sometimes you have to put yourself first and let other people find their own ways out of the problem. And if you can't... if you really can't... you need to seek help from somebody who can help you. That's always been my criteria for when to seek help from a professional - if you can't do it yourself, after trying. Because living your life ignoring all emotions will only hurt those who love you, even if they understand... even if you think you're doing it so it won't hurt as much. In the end, it'll only hurt more... moping never solves anything. If there's one thing I can say I've learned from my own relationships, it's that I need to be more proactive in expressing my problems and trying to find solutions to them.
And that is my rant for the day. See people at school tomorrow.
Update
A note, I'm traveling tomorrow and returning to Ottawa tomorrow evening around 9PM. I may or may not be in a position to check my e-mail or other communications but I'll see everyone at school bright and early on Monday morning :).
If you urgently need to contact me... well tough luck. Call my place and leave a message and I'll see how exhausted I am when I get back.
A brief update on the whole frustration thing... I put a lot of thought into it all, worked out what I thought and explained it to the people involved. Let's see what happens.
Later!
- Dep
If you urgently need to contact me... well tough luck. Call my place and leave a message and I'll see how exhausted I am when I get back.
A brief update on the whole frustration thing... I put a lot of thought into it all, worked out what I thought and explained it to the people involved. Let's see what happens.
Later!
- Dep
