Monday, August 28, 2006
Corruption & Introspection
--- Brief News Flash ---
Due to my own incompetance, I've managed to set back my own project by a fairly large step, so this week will be mostly devoted to lowering my blood pressure and getting the work done again. My apologies.
------
One of my classes this semester is Shakespeare - and I love Shakespeare. But one of the more striking points which was already a part of my philosophy but which was made more apparent was the need for self-understanding through a process of introspection.
And it struck me that, of the myriad of reasons I write here, one of the greatest reasons is to have a forum for a conversation of sorts within my head - for obvious reasons, this could never come into the public eye as it makes me look crazier than I really am. And this forum gives me some important insights into my actions and general self-identity.
So why write about it, is the question I get. Somedays I get bored. But today, it is because I want to explore a few aspects of my personality.
People are, in general, ever-evolving creatures. They gain new insights, new experiences and new thoughts and find ways to integrate some of these into their personality. I know that I have changed over the preceeding years and probably will over the many to come. But some parts of us are consistant - they can be repressed and controlled to some degree or they can be extremely encouraged, but they remain a part of us throughout years.
For me, these parts are numerous. I've always had an interest in things like mathematics, science, computers and the other more technical skills. But there's also always been an interest in psychology, human nature, philosophy, religion - more of the liberal arts catagory of interests (in fact my grade 11 english teacher suggest I persue a diploma in Liberal Arts, but I don't know how much I'd enjoy the classes). Its really more like a hobby for me. I've also maintained an interest in persuing higher level education (beyond CEGEP, so university) but my mind isn't always made up on that - sometimes I wonder if I might be better off out in the work force. Of course, there is the higher pay rate that can come with a degree instead of a DEC.
A healthy interest is sex is there too (for those of you who don't like reading about sex, skip this paragraph). And not simply sex by itself, but the many variations and possibilities that come with my imagination lol. Its always been my intention to fully explore said possibilites once I enter into a relationship with a person who is willing. (What is it I told you James so long ago that I was looking for in a woman? Intelligent, kinky and tolerant of me lol). And this isn't to say she's a whore or anything along those lines - in fact, I have no tolerance for whores. Its more of an active interest in something other than straightup sex (or even the other basics).
Tolerant of me - now there's an interesting concept. I always thought I could never found one, but obviously I was proven wrong. Going back in time, I think it was always my dual-nature: I can be a guy who tells horrible jokes and jokes around a lot (those of you who know me know this phase), yet I'm also a very serious, very philosophical, professional person at times. I can be extremely sexual or extremely non-sexual; dress down or dress up; happy or down. And finally there are my beliefs on things in general which are... far from normal to say the least.
Religion: My religion is my own. I occasionally call it Wicca because Wicca is the closest in terms of beliefs and because I love pentacles (so sue me). In addition, Wicca is largely based on the individuals beliefs - there are different forms and I would say mine is a form of Wicca integrated with a scientific view of the world. But whatever you call it, it gets complicated. Its always evolving and changing to integrate new ideas I come across into it.
Philosophy: My views on life are, again complex. I suppose thats why people don't like getting into it with me because I lose so many. Lets try to simply it. First of all, we're not considering things that are -FACTS-. We're not arguing does 2+2=4 in a mathematical sense (philosophically speaking, you can debate all you want). We are going to look at moral issues and beliefs. The first principle I believe in is that every person has the right to their own viewpoint on moral/immoral and what they believe. There is at least one exception to this that I have found so far - people who have viewpoints that force others to conform to it or that promote the destruction or hatred of another viewpoint. So you can believe what you want as long as you're going to let other people believe what you want too. All of you who know me, know how much I hate the fundamentalists of any religion (ahem Bush/Harper). So you can be Catholic yes, and maintain all of these beliefs, but you should realize that just because you and many other people believe it does not make it true for all people, nor does it mean that it should apply to all people. You can be a racist at heart and not have black friends or marry a black woman BUT it doesn't mean you can go around posting racist slogans or saying 'I hate black people' or not showing them basic respect. You can be the biggest pro-life person this side of Washington but YOU CANNOT BLOW UP ABORTION CLINICS. Basically my point is you can be who you want to be BUT you must also respect other people for who they are.
This is all against the people crowding Parliament with your noisy signs wanting to ban abortions again or destroy gay marriage. Because really - how does it affect you? We're not talking about forcing you to have an abortion. We're not talking about forcing you to have gay intercourse or whatever. We're talking about letting people who already believe that this kind of thing is right do it!
Anyways I'm done for the evening so... goodnight :)
- Dep
Due to my own incompetance, I've managed to set back my own project by a fairly large step, so this week will be mostly devoted to lowering my blood pressure and getting the work done again. My apologies.
------
One of my classes this semester is Shakespeare - and I love Shakespeare. But one of the more striking points which was already a part of my philosophy but which was made more apparent was the need for self-understanding through a process of introspection.
And it struck me that, of the myriad of reasons I write here, one of the greatest reasons is to have a forum for a conversation of sorts within my head - for obvious reasons, this could never come into the public eye as it makes me look crazier than I really am. And this forum gives me some important insights into my actions and general self-identity.
So why write about it, is the question I get. Somedays I get bored. But today, it is because I want to explore a few aspects of my personality.
People are, in general, ever-evolving creatures. They gain new insights, new experiences and new thoughts and find ways to integrate some of these into their personality. I know that I have changed over the preceeding years and probably will over the many to come. But some parts of us are consistant - they can be repressed and controlled to some degree or they can be extremely encouraged, but they remain a part of us throughout years.
For me, these parts are numerous. I've always had an interest in things like mathematics, science, computers and the other more technical skills. But there's also always been an interest in psychology, human nature, philosophy, religion - more of the liberal arts catagory of interests (in fact my grade 11 english teacher suggest I persue a diploma in Liberal Arts, but I don't know how much I'd enjoy the classes). Its really more like a hobby for me. I've also maintained an interest in persuing higher level education (beyond CEGEP, so university) but my mind isn't always made up on that - sometimes I wonder if I might be better off out in the work force. Of course, there is the higher pay rate that can come with a degree instead of a DEC.
A healthy interest is sex is there too (for those of you who don't like reading about sex, skip this paragraph). And not simply sex by itself, but the many variations and possibilities that come with my imagination lol. Its always been my intention to fully explore said possibilites once I enter into a relationship with a person who is willing. (What is it I told you James so long ago that I was looking for in a woman? Intelligent, kinky and tolerant of me lol). And this isn't to say she's a whore or anything along those lines - in fact, I have no tolerance for whores. Its more of an active interest in something other than straightup sex (or even the other basics).
Tolerant of me - now there's an interesting concept. I always thought I could never found one, but obviously I was proven wrong. Going back in time, I think it was always my dual-nature: I can be a guy who tells horrible jokes and jokes around a lot (those of you who know me know this phase), yet I'm also a very serious, very philosophical, professional person at times. I can be extremely sexual or extremely non-sexual; dress down or dress up; happy or down. And finally there are my beliefs on things in general which are... far from normal to say the least.
Religion: My religion is my own. I occasionally call it Wicca because Wicca is the closest in terms of beliefs and because I love pentacles (so sue me). In addition, Wicca is largely based on the individuals beliefs - there are different forms and I would say mine is a form of Wicca integrated with a scientific view of the world. But whatever you call it, it gets complicated. Its always evolving and changing to integrate new ideas I come across into it.
Philosophy: My views on life are, again complex. I suppose thats why people don't like getting into it with me because I lose so many. Lets try to simply it. First of all, we're not considering things that are -FACTS-. We're not arguing does 2+2=4 in a mathematical sense (philosophically speaking, you can debate all you want). We are going to look at moral issues and beliefs. The first principle I believe in is that every person has the right to their own viewpoint on moral/immoral and what they believe. There is at least one exception to this that I have found so far - people who have viewpoints that force others to conform to it or that promote the destruction or hatred of another viewpoint. So you can believe what you want as long as you're going to let other people believe what you want too. All of you who know me, know how much I hate the fundamentalists of any religion (ahem Bush/Harper). So you can be Catholic yes, and maintain all of these beliefs, but you should realize that just because you and many other people believe it does not make it true for all people, nor does it mean that it should apply to all people. You can be a racist at heart and not have black friends or marry a black woman BUT it doesn't mean you can go around posting racist slogans or saying 'I hate black people' or not showing them basic respect. You can be the biggest pro-life person this side of Washington but YOU CANNOT BLOW UP ABORTION CLINICS. Basically my point is you can be who you want to be BUT you must also respect other people for who they are.
This is all against the people crowding Parliament with your noisy signs wanting to ban abortions again or destroy gay marriage. Because really - how does it affect you? We're not talking about forcing you to have an abortion. We're not talking about forcing you to have gay intercourse or whatever. We're talking about letting people who already believe that this kind of thing is right do it!
Anyways I'm done for the evening so... goodnight :)
- Dep
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Additional Note
Forgot somethings. I went into the dentist on Wednesday. The good news is I have no new cavities. The downside is I need braces. So for the next few years, I'm going to look like a complete geek :).
Also, I had my first evening of coordinating on Wedneday (with the assistance of another person who was also doing it for the first time). It went extremely well and we got awesome reviews for the discussion we ran, well above what the normal person who does it gets :) I think somebody is going to be replaced.
~ Dep ~
Also, I had my first evening of coordinating on Wedneday (with the assistance of another person who was also doing it for the first time). It went extremely well and we got awesome reviews for the discussion we ran, well above what the normal person who does it gets :) I think somebody is going to be replaced.
~ Dep ~
Friday, August 18, 2006
Greetings From The Pen
Well its not really a pen, but lets move on.
Everyone Note: As of now, I have switched to an easier-to-read sans-serif font. Enjoy :).
The life... she has been packed. We're in the eleventh hour of website development and I am spending literally 12-16 hours a day on my laptop coding the blasted thing. After two solid days of work (and messing around for a couple of previous days), I'm a bit over half done and most of the rest is planned out, so I anticipate being done by tomorrow night or Sunday morning barring any serious bugs. There is much more work to be done afterwards though - documents to be written, presentations to be made and meetings to be arranged. Not to mention I have to move all the data over from the old site to the new site (yes this is more work than it seems to be computer geeks: the databases are nearly incompatible) and set up a lot of new data, including lists of teachers and textbooks :).
Take note project members of mine, this is why we do not leave things until the last moment. We were supposed to be at this point three weeks ago.
Ah well, I had bad things happen too. But seriously, this is ridiculous.
Hopefully this semester will go better.
Whats worse is my philosophical and writing urges have been picking up which leave less and less time for coding... therefore I have been restricting them.
Speaking of back to school... its in 3 days! Two days really as today is pretty much over. I'm excited and looking forward to my new classes, a few new teachers and some good times with friends. Classes this semester include World Views, Shakespeare, Networks, Database Management, Systems and a Programming class about data structures.
Laptop Status: Fixed & Fully Operational
I'm definately thinking of installing Linux purely on it in the near future, but I need to make sure my wireless works with it first.
-----------
We seek without know what until, deep in imagination, we pull out to have revealed the thoughts never known of that which was persued, perhaps to no longer be so. The fires that burn in the imagination are slowly revealed to be unlit by final truths that only in lighting the fire can you see. In the end, you find the beginning of a truth made from untruth - glowing embers of an ignored page upon which was writ the flimsy promises of thought. Finally, the boundaries of the page are revealed and corners are turned around. The final view of reality takes hold over fiction and we are faced with final truth. Reality is what we see.
------------
It feels good to get creative expression out again.
In other news, please note that Harper continues to be an asshole. The scientists want to add three new planets to our solar system, making all of our education useless (bye bye My Very Eccentric Mother Just Send Uncle Ned Pies and hello My Very Eccentric Mother Caught June Sunbathing Under Neds Pricy Cold Xylophone (how many words start with X!!!)). Finally, the most amusing headline I've ever read in awhile
"Dude, you're gettting a recall".
That was the headline after Dell recalled 4.1 million laptop batteries. Thank god I got an HP :).
Anyways I require sleep - I have an eye doctor appointment tomorrow at 9:30AM. See you later - mayhaps I post tomorrow night too!
~ Dep ~
Everyone Note: As of now, I have switched to an easier-to-read sans-serif font. Enjoy :).
The life... she has been packed. We're in the eleventh hour of website development and I am spending literally 12-16 hours a day on my laptop coding the blasted thing. After two solid days of work (and messing around for a couple of previous days), I'm a bit over half done and most of the rest is planned out, so I anticipate being done by tomorrow night or Sunday morning barring any serious bugs. There is much more work to be done afterwards though - documents to be written, presentations to be made and meetings to be arranged. Not to mention I have to move all the data over from the old site to the new site (yes this is more work than it seems to be computer geeks: the databases are nearly incompatible) and set up a lot of new data, including lists of teachers and textbooks :).
Take note project members of mine, this is why we do not leave things until the last moment. We were supposed to be at this point three weeks ago.
Ah well, I had bad things happen too. But seriously, this is ridiculous.
Hopefully this semester will go better.
Whats worse is my philosophical and writing urges have been picking up which leave less and less time for coding... therefore I have been restricting them.
Speaking of back to school... its in 3 days! Two days really as today is pretty much over. I'm excited and looking forward to my new classes, a few new teachers and some good times with friends. Classes this semester include World Views, Shakespeare, Networks, Database Management, Systems and a Programming class about data structures.
Laptop Status: Fixed & Fully Operational
I'm definately thinking of installing Linux purely on it in the near future, but I need to make sure my wireless works with it first.
-----------
We seek without know what until, deep in imagination, we pull out to have revealed the thoughts never known of that which was persued, perhaps to no longer be so. The fires that burn in the imagination are slowly revealed to be unlit by final truths that only in lighting the fire can you see. In the end, you find the beginning of a truth made from untruth - glowing embers of an ignored page upon which was writ the flimsy promises of thought. Finally, the boundaries of the page are revealed and corners are turned around. The final view of reality takes hold over fiction and we are faced with final truth. Reality is what we see.
------------
It feels good to get creative expression out again.
In other news, please note that Harper continues to be an asshole. The scientists want to add three new planets to our solar system, making all of our education useless (bye bye My Very Eccentric Mother Just Send Uncle Ned Pies and hello My Very Eccentric Mother Caught June Sunbathing Under Neds Pricy Cold Xylophone (how many words start with X!!!)). Finally, the most amusing headline I've ever read in awhile
"Dude, you're gettting a recall".
That was the headline after Dell recalled 4.1 million laptop batteries. Thank god I got an HP :).
Anyways I require sleep - I have an eye doctor appointment tomorrow at 9:30AM. See you later - mayhaps I post tomorrow night too!
~ Dep ~
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Greetings From The Brain
Man, oh man. A new all time low for attendance at a staff meeting. Out of the eight people supposed to come - three showed up. And one had to leave after an hour. But on the positive side, we got everything hashed out - its always good to work things out. Once again along our course...
The next two weeks are going to be insane. I have to go into the college to see about adding courses. I failed English 102 (I get so bored in english) so I'm going to try and pack it in... and this time pay attention lol. I'm also trying to fit the two courses I need for university (Physics 1 and Calculus 2) into my schedule sometime, so I'm going to see about those. There may or may not be a release party for Heritage Underground sometime in the next two weeks. Robyns mother is coming down so I get to meet her brother, sister and mother for the first time - yay anxiety :). I have stuff to do for PTY, including running group with the aide of another coordinator for the next two weeks - in fact I should go grab my stuff I have to type ;ater tonight before I forget it. I have a pile more website work to do, the school schedules come out tomorrow (or today even) and my laptop is STILL not fixed yet.
*sigh* but some how I still find time to write here today. Mostly because I need stress relief.
For those of you who read my livejournal, I am going to write there soon. For those of you who don't, ask me for what I'm going to write there if you really want to know lol.
I am alive though and continuing on. I switch over to LiveJournal... now.
Later all
~ Dep
The next two weeks are going to be insane. I have to go into the college to see about adding courses. I failed English 102 (I get so bored in english) so I'm going to try and pack it in... and this time pay attention lol. I'm also trying to fit the two courses I need for university (Physics 1 and Calculus 2) into my schedule sometime, so I'm going to see about those. There may or may not be a release party for Heritage Underground sometime in the next two weeks. Robyns mother is coming down so I get to meet her brother, sister and mother for the first time - yay anxiety :). I have stuff to do for PTY, including running group with the aide of another coordinator for the next two weeks - in fact I should go grab my stuff I have to type ;ater tonight before I forget it. I have a pile more website work to do, the school schedules come out tomorrow (or today even) and my laptop is STILL not fixed yet.
*sigh* but some how I still find time to write here today. Mostly because I need stress relief.
For those of you who read my livejournal, I am going to write there soon. For those of you who don't, ask me for what I'm going to write there if you really want to know lol.
I am alive though and continuing on. I switch over to LiveJournal... now.
Later all
~ Dep
