Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Well Then
Alright, Nicky, I'll hand it to you. Perfect words. You're right, I have been here before - but I didn't know then what I know now.
It was interesting though, because it came up in class today - what would you do if you were interested in your best friend's girlfriend? What's the morally correct choice? And oddly enough, one of the thoughts put forward by the class was the "well, give it up and move on" that I've gotten from one or two people - and the response was that "sometimes, you don't want to give up your thoughts". I don't know if I'm entirely ready to give up mine either.
But, lets apply new knowledge to it. Lesson #1 is that I can't sit around and do nothing, moping here on my journal. I had two days, I ranted it all out and really there's nothing left to say. The situation is what it is - lets do something. I think this, Nicky, is what you were getting at - but more importantly, its what I know is right.
So if we're not doing nothing, we're doing something. The options: moving on, telling her and letting her decide... probably a few others, but really those are the two up for consideration. If you have another, leave a comment.
Moving on presents a problem in my mind because I feel I can't get past this - it keeps coming back (this isn't the second time, its like the fifth). Therefore, burying it and moving on may just mean putting off making another decision like this down the road - until I don't put it off anymore. On the flip side, maybe the situation will change then. Maybe people will be different, relationships will be different - who knows. But keeping it on my mind until things do change is definately not a possibility.
On the flip side of that who situation is telling her, laying out all the facts/thoughts and letting her make her own opinions. At the very least, I intend to clear up a few matters that have been muddied in our past relationship - this, I feel, is very important to me, that I be well understood by those closest to me. The question is not about that, but more about the ongoing emotions/feelings that I've been trying to express and explore - do I tell her about those? The question can't be does it serve any purpose, because from all I can tell she loves my best friend - and her feelings towards me haven't really changed. Therefore I can't expect a yes, the only answer I can and should expect is a no. What will telling her serve? Again, we flip the side - telling her will possibly clear the slate for me and really allow me to move on to a new life.
There is another question that deserves to be addressed - what do I tell my best friend? How much of this does he need to know, how much will he want to know? How much is enough to break our friendship (which has survived many trials before this).
This one is going to require some thought, but at least I'm on the right path.
------
Anyways - I have a whole horde of other thoughts on a variety of subjects, but for now I am for the sleep. Class at 8AM tomorrow and all (actually today now :P).
G'night
- Dep
It was interesting though, because it came up in class today - what would you do if you were interested in your best friend's girlfriend? What's the morally correct choice? And oddly enough, one of the thoughts put forward by the class was the "well, give it up and move on" that I've gotten from one or two people - and the response was that "sometimes, you don't want to give up your thoughts". I don't know if I'm entirely ready to give up mine either.
But, lets apply new knowledge to it. Lesson #1 is that I can't sit around and do nothing, moping here on my journal. I had two days, I ranted it all out and really there's nothing left to say. The situation is what it is - lets do something. I think this, Nicky, is what you were getting at - but more importantly, its what I know is right.
So if we're not doing nothing, we're doing something. The options: moving on, telling her and letting her decide... probably a few others, but really those are the two up for consideration. If you have another, leave a comment.
Moving on presents a problem in my mind because I feel I can't get past this - it keeps coming back (this isn't the second time, its like the fifth). Therefore, burying it and moving on may just mean putting off making another decision like this down the road - until I don't put it off anymore. On the flip side, maybe the situation will change then. Maybe people will be different, relationships will be different - who knows. But keeping it on my mind until things do change is definately not a possibility.
On the flip side of that who situation is telling her, laying out all the facts/thoughts and letting her make her own opinions. At the very least, I intend to clear up a few matters that have been muddied in our past relationship - this, I feel, is very important to me, that I be well understood by those closest to me. The question is not about that, but more about the ongoing emotions/feelings that I've been trying to express and explore - do I tell her about those? The question can't be does it serve any purpose, because from all I can tell she loves my best friend - and her feelings towards me haven't really changed. Therefore I can't expect a yes, the only answer I can and should expect is a no. What will telling her serve? Again, we flip the side - telling her will possibly clear the slate for me and really allow me to move on to a new life.
There is another question that deserves to be addressed - what do I tell my best friend? How much of this does he need to know, how much will he want to know? How much is enough to break our friendship (which has survived many trials before this).
This one is going to require some thought, but at least I'm on the right path.
------
Anyways - I have a whole horde of other thoughts on a variety of subjects, but for now I am for the sleep. Class at 8AM tomorrow and all (actually today now :P).
G'night
- Dep
// posted by Dep @ 12:17:00 a.m.
