Thursday, September 07, 2006
Return
So welcome back everyone. First of all, a couple of RL updates before I enter my brain for an hour or so.
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Heritage Underground: My major project is mostly complete for the time being. I have a few last things to tidy up and add, but no more 8 hour 7 days a week coding sessions :).
School: School is going well... once again the insane people elected me class rep, plus I've still got a few other school projects going on. A few assignments to work on already - should get started tomorrow.
Development Projects: Still have a few people who were interested in having me work on projects for them - awaiting contact with them for more details :).
Girlfriend: The gf is fine and alive :) I'm fine and alive. Its all going well :).
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Alright, lets go...
A well tossed about phrase came to my mind the other day and I realized something about it that never occured to me before. Maybe I'm an idiot, but here it is.
"You must love yourself before you love someone else" (paraphrased of course)
Lets expand. What does loving yourself entail? Before you can love yourself, you need to know who you are and you need to be satistified or close to satisfied with who you are. And it then follows that until you know who you are and are happy with the way you are (I don't know if we could ever be COMPLETELY happy, but close enough) you can't really determine what kind of person you're looking for, nor can you really (in my mind) commit to a relationship. Not knowing who you are and liking who you are leads to insecurity in my mind and insecure people (as is shown in the play 'Much Ado About Nothing' which I was recently reading) are prone to jump to conclusions, draw the wrong negative conclusion, obsessive behaviour and be overly suspicious in general - you can't really build trust if you're constantly suspicious and therefore your relationships will fail. Which returns to a previous question posed by Chrissie - why do relationships between people of our age usually fail (asked 5 years ago roughly)? And now we have the answer - the majority of people our age have not truly found themselves yet - they are still searching, questioning or (in most cases) getting really really drunk. Because they have not yet completed their journey of self-discovery (or at least worked out the major parts), any relationship they have will be subject to major upheavals which are frequently destructive considering that most people in that age range aren't known for their patience or determination in relationships either.
I can look at myself with this in mind and realize that, up until recently, I really didn't know who I was. I was searching and looking for who I was and I went through a number of phases. And all through this, because I was never sure of who I was, I was always insecure which led to a lot of questioning if the other person liked me - and not only that, but blowing it moderately out of proportion (I suppose making what I'm worth in my head based on what they think I'm worth?). I think the number of months I spent without a boyfriend or girlfriend let me look at myself long enough to figure out more about myself. It also helped that I went into a new program, made new real friends and really got into doing things. The differences are, in my mind, amazing. I was always a quiet, sit back and do work person. Now I have a greater tendancy to take a leadership position, I don't have quite so big of a fear of speaking in public and I'm moderately sure of who I am. A lot of things went into that... the whole mess with Courtney/Sarah (which I'm quite willing to accept responsibility for by the way - I was an idiot, even if the circumstances were bad)... PTY was a big influence. And today - I find myself happier, less obsessive and far more confident in my skills and activities.
Anyways, enjoy jabbering about that. The real topic for tonight is...
Religion
I'm bored, so I'm going to write about religion and probably slowly get into philosophy and stuff.
A lot of people think I look down on religion and the truth is, I don't. I look down on religious fanatics (and yes I include Bush as a religious fanatic). I believe in a strong seperation between Church and State because the State encompasses people of different religions. I dislike people who try to convert others to their religion or force their children into their religion. But religion itself has some high points. People do, occasionally, need some kind of structure in their life and religion can bring them that. They've also done some good work for helping the poor in the world and other good causes.
My religion is somewhat complicated - I keep promising to tell people about it, but it just takes so long. And its not even really a religion, its more of a philosophy.
The wonderful part about my own beliefs is that they are constantly changing - probably why I come back and visit this topic so often. Why? Because I keep encountering new ideas and concepts which are being integrated into my beliefs.
I suppose at the core of my beliefs is that the only universal truth is that there are no universal truths. An oxymoron, but stay with me on this. Take for example, religion (which is what we are discussing). There is no one right religion, nor is their one right way to live your life. Each person needs to live the right way for them, while respecting other people's right to live their way. On top of that, society needs to impose rules for the safety of all the people it is supposed to protect. There is no universal path to follow. There is no universal good (we've been over that one) or evil.
And so, it is not for me to say how you live your life, only that you respect other people's right to live their life their way.
Anyways, the bed calls. Good night all!
~ Dep ~
------
Heritage Underground: My major project is mostly complete for the time being. I have a few last things to tidy up and add, but no more 8 hour 7 days a week coding sessions :).
School: School is going well... once again the insane people elected me class rep, plus I've still got a few other school projects going on. A few assignments to work on already - should get started tomorrow.
Development Projects: Still have a few people who were interested in having me work on projects for them - awaiting contact with them for more details :).
Girlfriend: The gf is fine and alive :) I'm fine and alive. Its all going well :).
------
Alright, lets go...
A well tossed about phrase came to my mind the other day and I realized something about it that never occured to me before. Maybe I'm an idiot, but here it is.
"You must love yourself before you love someone else" (paraphrased of course)
Lets expand. What does loving yourself entail? Before you can love yourself, you need to know who you are and you need to be satistified or close to satisfied with who you are. And it then follows that until you know who you are and are happy with the way you are (I don't know if we could ever be COMPLETELY happy, but close enough) you can't really determine what kind of person you're looking for, nor can you really (in my mind) commit to a relationship. Not knowing who you are and liking who you are leads to insecurity in my mind and insecure people (as is shown in the play 'Much Ado About Nothing' which I was recently reading) are prone to jump to conclusions, draw the wrong negative conclusion, obsessive behaviour and be overly suspicious in general - you can't really build trust if you're constantly suspicious and therefore your relationships will fail. Which returns to a previous question posed by Chrissie - why do relationships between people of our age usually fail (asked 5 years ago roughly)? And now we have the answer - the majority of people our age have not truly found themselves yet - they are still searching, questioning or (in most cases) getting really really drunk. Because they have not yet completed their journey of self-discovery (or at least worked out the major parts), any relationship they have will be subject to major upheavals which are frequently destructive considering that most people in that age range aren't known for their patience or determination in relationships either.
I can look at myself with this in mind and realize that, up until recently, I really didn't know who I was. I was searching and looking for who I was and I went through a number of phases. And all through this, because I was never sure of who I was, I was always insecure which led to a lot of questioning if the other person liked me - and not only that, but blowing it moderately out of proportion (I suppose making what I'm worth in my head based on what they think I'm worth?). I think the number of months I spent without a boyfriend or girlfriend let me look at myself long enough to figure out more about myself. It also helped that I went into a new program, made new real friends and really got into doing things. The differences are, in my mind, amazing. I was always a quiet, sit back and do work person. Now I have a greater tendancy to take a leadership position, I don't have quite so big of a fear of speaking in public and I'm moderately sure of who I am. A lot of things went into that... the whole mess with Courtney/Sarah (which I'm quite willing to accept responsibility for by the way - I was an idiot, even if the circumstances were bad)... PTY was a big influence. And today - I find myself happier, less obsessive and far more confident in my skills and activities.
Anyways, enjoy jabbering about that. The real topic for tonight is...
Religion
I'm bored, so I'm going to write about religion and probably slowly get into philosophy and stuff.
A lot of people think I look down on religion and the truth is, I don't. I look down on religious fanatics (and yes I include Bush as a religious fanatic). I believe in a strong seperation between Church and State because the State encompasses people of different religions. I dislike people who try to convert others to their religion or force their children into their religion. But religion itself has some high points. People do, occasionally, need some kind of structure in their life and religion can bring them that. They've also done some good work for helping the poor in the world and other good causes.
My religion is somewhat complicated - I keep promising to tell people about it, but it just takes so long. And its not even really a religion, its more of a philosophy.
The wonderful part about my own beliefs is that they are constantly changing - probably why I come back and visit this topic so often. Why? Because I keep encountering new ideas and concepts which are being integrated into my beliefs.
I suppose at the core of my beliefs is that the only universal truth is that there are no universal truths. An oxymoron, but stay with me on this. Take for example, religion (which is what we are discussing). There is no one right religion, nor is their one right way to live your life. Each person needs to live the right way for them, while respecting other people's right to live their way. On top of that, society needs to impose rules for the safety of all the people it is supposed to protect. There is no universal path to follow. There is no universal good (we've been over that one) or evil.
And so, it is not for me to say how you live your life, only that you respect other people's right to live their life their way.
Anyways, the bed calls. Good night all!
~ Dep ~
// posted by Dep @ 10:01:00 p.m.
