Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Leather Straps? oooooo
(Thank you Ash for prompting yet another edition of my droning.... I mean journal).
------------------------
REALITY NEWS
------------------------
I was watching the news today and I saw something that put me in a good mood for awhile :) the headline: 'Astronaut loses hold of bolt during spacewalk'. Because this is of such vital importance to the nation, really. I would like to suggest my own to CTV, it goes something like this...
'ASTRONAUT'S BOWEL MOVEMENTS ARE GOOD'
- In other news, the astronauts continue to have good bowel movements, despite heavy indigestion from the food. Here we have live video footage from deep within the toliet bowl...
*live video - I'll leave it to your imagination of a guy in a space suit groaning and grunting*
And now, the final results of this tremendous good news...
*live video of a piece of frozen excrement floating past the camera with the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey playing in the background.
And that concludes our news for today... oh and the space shuttle encountered a few meteors and was destroyed.
(Now THATS news)
-----------------------
Alright, lets get serious :) or not.
Most of the people who've known me long enough (and if you're reading this, the odds are good) know that I have a freaky side - or freaky is the wrong word. More along the lines of kinky, with whips and chains a la Rocky Horror - BDSM and such. But I must admit... even though I come from a larger population than you Ash, its still hard to find such people (though I don't have the looks to attract them to me to begin with - that may explain it, but even so). So my experiences remain limited, which is a shame... I have a deep desire to experiment and many creative thoughts to express (and it is, as you say, an art form though I'm sure few think of it that way).
As for the whole dom/sub question, its always been an interesting question for me. I was fairly submissive thoughout my explorations though this, but I find myself developing more into what I've heard referred to as a switch - someone who can go both ways with a fair amount of ease.
One thing I think I'll never get used to is people who want everyone to conform (or think that everyone will conform or think that they need to conform). Things like BDSM aren't for everyone but there's nothing inherently wrong with it, is there? Ditto for every other fetish, including the extremely weird (but still legal) ones. Exploiting others is just plain wrong, but two consenting adults who aren't killing each other? Come on. After all, we let Scientologists into the world to play (forgive me scientologists in my audience... I know there are some among you!). If BDSM isn't right for you, don't marry a fetishist. If you don't like Scientology, don't go to their church. If you don't like intelligent women, marry one who is naturally not intelligent. And its not to say that women can't dress up pretty, can't be slightly slow, can't want to be housewives, HAS to play video games, write draw, be creative, etc etc etc.
I think the only truth that I've actually found is the only path to happiness is finding what you want to be and being that person, regardless of societies rules. Don't hit yourself for it and don't let others get you down for it - but do, perhaps, be open to change that might make you like yourself more. Thats a complex one...
I've discovered that I'm capable of lying to myself - rationalizing if you want - making myself believe things that aren't true and disguising my true discontent state. The secret is to be object and be introspective. Take a look into yourself and find out whether or not you're really happy with the way things are - don't be afraid to take either answer. As a good example, I always patted myself on the back for being in Science so long ago but really I was miserable there - I had a couple of good teachers and a couple of horrible ones and the subject matter just wasn't what I wanted to be doing. What I wanted to be doing was computers :). And here I am today - I love going to class and rarely skip a CS class. And I know inside that my choices are the right ones for me, because its what I love doing.
Sometimes we don't realize that we're lying to ourselves - it takes a lot of time and courage (I find) to admit it - and thats where having good friends comes into play. Your friends will always be more objective but will never have the deep understanding that you do of yourself. I take the advice of my friends seriously, but I don't follow it heedlessly (haha I rhymed!). If you look through my journal, you'll see lots of times when I was dead wrong about myself and just needed it pointed out by a friend enough times... preferably with a sledgehammer.
But all along, I knew - I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me I'm making the wrong choice for myself, that this isn't the way I want to be going in life. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I don't.
But the secret to being happy is finding out where you want to be and working towards that. Figure out what you like in another person and try to stick with that, instead of dating just anyone who throws you a smile :) (like I have in the distant past lol) - pick a career you'll enjoy, not for the bucks but for the work - find a lifestyle you want to live, not that is expected of you.
So I will always have an interest in fetishes in general (and will hopefully find a way to explore those in the future), an abhorrence for religious fanatics, a distaste for organized religion, an extreme interest in computers/math/science and a few other quirks of mine :). The only thing it is important to remember is that, in your search for who you are, you should not repress who others are. So because you're dating some hot chick who loves thinking and you want to date an airhead isn't reason to repress her. DATE SOMEONE ELSE. If you get married before you realize she's not an airhead, you're an idiot and deserve a divorce. It isn't always true though - sometimes people want to change, they want to be someone else but they don't have the experiences or they lack guidance or for some other reason - if you like the person they want to be and are sincerely willing to be, then probably you should help them change (at least I would). But remember - major changes should not be done FOR another person. There are only two reasons I would recommend a major shift in one of your viewpoints - you want it or you're abusing another person's right to be how they want to be.
So what about compromise in a relationship? Its true that there is going to be a bit of give and taken in a relationship for the other person - we're not talking about nitpicky stuff like learning how to wash dishes. We're talking major personality shifts like saying 'Well I don't like BDSM so I expect you to give it all up for me' (if its a deep part of who you want to be) or 'Stop wearing those clothes because people look at you weirdly' (I had that happen :)). The majority of things that people want you to compromise fall into four catagories I find.
1 - Major Personality Components
These are the things that make you you. They are parts of your soul, if you want - they are things that you have determined you want to be and, without, you don't think you could be happy. I, for instance, could never date a technophobe - I need computers and computers are my livelyhood. I could also never date someone who would force me to be Catholic, etc.
2 - Self Expression
Things like 'I want you to wear these clothes' or 'I think you should get this haircut'. How I think people should deal with this depends on how strong a form of self expression it is for you. My hair, for instance, I never really cared much about. I like it on the short side (its a little long right now and I need a haircut soon therefore :)) just for the conviences that short hair brings. Clothes (and jewelry) on the other hand, I choose with an image in mind (though I have different clothes for different images, depending on the one I want to project, for I am a multi faceted person). If you really don't care - then really, do it if you want to. If you do care and its deeply ingrained into you, then stick with your style. Daren, for instance, loves his long flowing silk hair and wouldn't have it any other way.
3 - Nit Picky
Alright, there is compromise and then there is nitpicking. 'I don't like the way you arrange your CDs'. Nitpicking is not a form of compromise, its a form of being annoying. Now if its your combined CD collection, coming to some kind of compromise is probably important. Nit picking applies to really trivial things that would make no difference on either people's lives.
4 - Actual Compromise Situations
Ok, so we're passed the situations where compromise is general bad. There are some situations where a compromise is needed - usually more in the day to day trivia rather than the big psychological picture. And its an interesting question who should compromise on what and how far, something that changes from each situation so I have only one guideline - it should be even. A person who compromises every time (I guess gives in would be more accurate) will feel trod upon and will eventually get so frustrated that there is a bigger problem.
It was interesting - my parents always taught me to find a compromise in my solutions. But in a psych class last year, I found out that my own thoughts are more valid - there ARE sometimes situations where you are right to believe what you believe and they are wrong. And really, giving up who you are for the relationship makes the entire point of the relationship moot - its all about finding somebody you like, not somebody who can twist themselves into a shape you like.
So I've rambled enough tonight on this. I need somewhere to let me thoughts go I'm sure.
-----
External News:
- Heritage Underground was released on September 11th, 2006 and has already gained ten new members (without advertising lol)
-----
So I'll leave you with a final thought :)
BRING ON THE WHIPS AND CHAINS!
(I'm so naughty tonight... somebody spank me)
~ Dep ~
------------------------
REALITY NEWS
------------------------
I was watching the news today and I saw something that put me in a good mood for awhile :) the headline: 'Astronaut loses hold of bolt during spacewalk'. Because this is of such vital importance to the nation, really. I would like to suggest my own to CTV, it goes something like this...
'ASTRONAUT'S BOWEL MOVEMENTS ARE GOOD'
- In other news, the astronauts continue to have good bowel movements, despite heavy indigestion from the food. Here we have live video footage from deep within the toliet bowl...
*live video - I'll leave it to your imagination of a guy in a space suit groaning and grunting*
And now, the final results of this tremendous good news...
*live video of a piece of frozen excrement floating past the camera with the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey playing in the background.
And that concludes our news for today... oh and the space shuttle encountered a few meteors and was destroyed.
(Now THATS news)
-----------------------
Alright, lets get serious :) or not.
Most of the people who've known me long enough (and if you're reading this, the odds are good) know that I have a freaky side - or freaky is the wrong word. More along the lines of kinky, with whips and chains a la Rocky Horror - BDSM and such. But I must admit... even though I come from a larger population than you Ash, its still hard to find such people (though I don't have the looks to attract them to me to begin with - that may explain it, but even so). So my experiences remain limited, which is a shame... I have a deep desire to experiment and many creative thoughts to express (and it is, as you say, an art form though I'm sure few think of it that way).
As for the whole dom/sub question, its always been an interesting question for me. I was fairly submissive thoughout my explorations though this, but I find myself developing more into what I've heard referred to as a switch - someone who can go both ways with a fair amount of ease.
One thing I think I'll never get used to is people who want everyone to conform (or think that everyone will conform or think that they need to conform). Things like BDSM aren't for everyone but there's nothing inherently wrong with it, is there? Ditto for every other fetish, including the extremely weird (but still legal) ones. Exploiting others is just plain wrong, but two consenting adults who aren't killing each other? Come on. After all, we let Scientologists into the world to play (forgive me scientologists in my audience... I know there are some among you!). If BDSM isn't right for you, don't marry a fetishist. If you don't like Scientology, don't go to their church. If you don't like intelligent women, marry one who is naturally not intelligent. And its not to say that women can't dress up pretty, can't be slightly slow, can't want to be housewives, HAS to play video games, write draw, be creative, etc etc etc.
I think the only truth that I've actually found is the only path to happiness is finding what you want to be and being that person, regardless of societies rules. Don't hit yourself for it and don't let others get you down for it - but do, perhaps, be open to change that might make you like yourself more. Thats a complex one...
I've discovered that I'm capable of lying to myself - rationalizing if you want - making myself believe things that aren't true and disguising my true discontent state. The secret is to be object and be introspective. Take a look into yourself and find out whether or not you're really happy with the way things are - don't be afraid to take either answer. As a good example, I always patted myself on the back for being in Science so long ago but really I was miserable there - I had a couple of good teachers and a couple of horrible ones and the subject matter just wasn't what I wanted to be doing. What I wanted to be doing was computers :). And here I am today - I love going to class and rarely skip a CS class. And I know inside that my choices are the right ones for me, because its what I love doing.
Sometimes we don't realize that we're lying to ourselves - it takes a lot of time and courage (I find) to admit it - and thats where having good friends comes into play. Your friends will always be more objective but will never have the deep understanding that you do of yourself. I take the advice of my friends seriously, but I don't follow it heedlessly (haha I rhymed!). If you look through my journal, you'll see lots of times when I was dead wrong about myself and just needed it pointed out by a friend enough times... preferably with a sledgehammer.
But all along, I knew - I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me I'm making the wrong choice for myself, that this isn't the way I want to be going in life. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I don't.
But the secret to being happy is finding out where you want to be and working towards that. Figure out what you like in another person and try to stick with that, instead of dating just anyone who throws you a smile :) (like I have in the distant past lol) - pick a career you'll enjoy, not for the bucks but for the work - find a lifestyle you want to live, not that is expected of you.
So I will always have an interest in fetishes in general (and will hopefully find a way to explore those in the future), an abhorrence for religious fanatics, a distaste for organized religion, an extreme interest in computers/math/science and a few other quirks of mine :). The only thing it is important to remember is that, in your search for who you are, you should not repress who others are. So because you're dating some hot chick who loves thinking and you want to date an airhead isn't reason to repress her. DATE SOMEONE ELSE. If you get married before you realize she's not an airhead, you're an idiot and deserve a divorce. It isn't always true though - sometimes people want to change, they want to be someone else but they don't have the experiences or they lack guidance or for some other reason - if you like the person they want to be and are sincerely willing to be, then probably you should help them change (at least I would). But remember - major changes should not be done FOR another person. There are only two reasons I would recommend a major shift in one of your viewpoints - you want it or you're abusing another person's right to be how they want to be.
So what about compromise in a relationship? Its true that there is going to be a bit of give and taken in a relationship for the other person - we're not talking about nitpicky stuff like learning how to wash dishes. We're talking major personality shifts like saying 'Well I don't like BDSM so I expect you to give it all up for me' (if its a deep part of who you want to be) or 'Stop wearing those clothes because people look at you weirdly' (I had that happen :)). The majority of things that people want you to compromise fall into four catagories I find.
1 - Major Personality Components
These are the things that make you you. They are parts of your soul, if you want - they are things that you have determined you want to be and, without, you don't think you could be happy. I, for instance, could never date a technophobe - I need computers and computers are my livelyhood. I could also never date someone who would force me to be Catholic, etc.
2 - Self Expression
Things like 'I want you to wear these clothes' or 'I think you should get this haircut'. How I think people should deal with this depends on how strong a form of self expression it is for you. My hair, for instance, I never really cared much about. I like it on the short side (its a little long right now and I need a haircut soon therefore :)) just for the conviences that short hair brings. Clothes (and jewelry) on the other hand, I choose with an image in mind (though I have different clothes for different images, depending on the one I want to project, for I am a multi faceted person). If you really don't care - then really, do it if you want to. If you do care and its deeply ingrained into you, then stick with your style. Daren, for instance, loves his long flowing silk hair and wouldn't have it any other way.
3 - Nit Picky
Alright, there is compromise and then there is nitpicking. 'I don't like the way you arrange your CDs'. Nitpicking is not a form of compromise, its a form of being annoying. Now if its your combined CD collection, coming to some kind of compromise is probably important. Nit picking applies to really trivial things that would make no difference on either people's lives.
4 - Actual Compromise Situations
Ok, so we're passed the situations where compromise is general bad. There are some situations where a compromise is needed - usually more in the day to day trivia rather than the big psychological picture. And its an interesting question who should compromise on what and how far, something that changes from each situation so I have only one guideline - it should be even. A person who compromises every time (I guess gives in would be more accurate) will feel trod upon and will eventually get so frustrated that there is a bigger problem.
It was interesting - my parents always taught me to find a compromise in my solutions. But in a psych class last year, I found out that my own thoughts are more valid - there ARE sometimes situations where you are right to believe what you believe and they are wrong. And really, giving up who you are for the relationship makes the entire point of the relationship moot - its all about finding somebody you like, not somebody who can twist themselves into a shape you like.
So I've rambled enough tonight on this. I need somewhere to let me thoughts go I'm sure.
-----
External News:
- Heritage Underground was released on September 11th, 2006 and has already gained ten new members (without advertising lol)
-----
So I'll leave you with a final thought :)
BRING ON THE WHIPS AND CHAINS!
(I'm so naughty tonight... somebody spank me)
~ Dep ~
// posted by Dep @ 7:49:00 p.m.
