Evil Geniuses in a Nutshell

Has it really been 4 days? I believe it has. Thus, there shall be posting.

Life has been fairly quiet this past week. Did some work, thought a lot and watched some hockey. Lets start there.

I like hockey, make no mistake. But people who are into it hardcore piss me off. Tonight is a perfect example. I like watching hockey, even if I don't know the teams, and I have my favorite teams... Ottawa being my personal favorite with the rest of the Canadian teams somewhere up there (except Toronto lol). And I don't think its horrible if you don't follow hockey or something. What I think is horrible is people who are obsessed with hockey and/or their one team. Tonight I had a conversation after the Montreal-Carolina game (Montreal lost 3-2) with one of these fans from Montreal. He went on and on about the horrible calls by the refrees, how Montreal isn't doing too well because of the injuries and how cheap the other team is - essentially how much of a tragedy this is. And I'm listening to this thinking "You are a [insert curse word of choice] moron". One, its only a game. Relax, get over it. If Montreal is out of the playoffs, so what? There will be other years. Two, don't bitch about the refs - you aren't on the ice. What we see from the TV may be biased or it may not be what the ref saw and they have to call them as they see them. The breaks go both ways, just like the luck and the injuries. Three, part of the game is doing what you can and hoping something lucky happens. Sometimes that takes the form of flukey goals like you had tonight and the Carolina player who scored that goal was honest about it "I threw the puck at the net, there were better things I could have done but I got lucky and it went in". Four, if your team can't handle injuries, then it isn't a team. Five, see number one. Its a game. Get over it, move on, go watch some golf or something.

The main stress point of my week is one of my friends was let go from a volunteer position (her and I volunteer at the same place) for incomprehensible reasons that mainly involve personal dislike. This was another in a long line of similar actions by this person in charge of coordinating. It was kindof good because we left along with some other friends and went to a coffee shop where we did nothing but talk and laugh for an hour and a half. It was most amusing and good for my friend, because I think she was a bit stressed out. There will be words between myself and the coordinator of volunteers next week about this and, if it is not resolved to our satisfaction, they will have one less volunteer.

School is good - my marks are decent if not at my usual standards (probably because of my vacation, a few cases of being sick/overworked and missing a lot of AM classes). It is getting better and hopefully I will be prepared for the finals and able to keep the marks from getting this low next semester (nothing horribly dangerous lol).

I think I'm going to make a note - in the future, don't help people. It seems like you help them once and they expect you to always help them with everything. Which I can't always do since its a lot of my time (*glares at volunteer work*) and they seem to rely on me for making sure something is right before they even try it. I see proof that this is actually negative for them in the only student who is beating my marks on average - one of our chinese students who, while lacking in experience, makes up for it in hard work and doing it herself. That will make you a better programmer than coming to me with any and every question you have. And I tell them this but nobody listens. Cursed lazy people.

We're down to seven actual school days left prior to the exams. I am moderately excited, though it also means the final french oral examination I'll ever do also draws near. I really really dislike speaking french for marks.

I think the state I hate most being trapped in is that of Limbo - caught in between one reality and another, not sure in which I belong yet and not sure when that will change. Its like that with my love life now - not sure where its going, having an idea of where I'd like it to go, but not sure if thats possible/desired and yet not sure if I should be moving on or still trying. Everything is up in the air and I don't even know when it will come back down. I suppose its because I'm the type of person who likes things very clear where I stand with other people. Ambiguity and assumptions are not exactly my cup of tea in relationships. I find it a lot of fun to be vague and mysterious - teasingly, of course. But I feel there is a strong need for a sense of clarity, lest somebody get confused and get hurt. And I have kind of a desire to lay it all out - yeah, it would be hard, yeah its too soon and we need to see each other again, yeah there are all these problems standing in our way... but I like you and I think we should look at this at least. Then I get the thought that I'm being too forward, pressing too soon and even just being too... structured. Sometimes you have to just let things flow and come... but I'm an impatient person by nature and I tend to push for things to happen sooner, that if something needs to be done, I find a way of doing it. And there is just so much on this topic waiting to come out, since I keep thinking about it and whether I should wait and see what she says (whether or not she's interested in exploring this path) or assume that, since she hasn't brought it up, it means that I should move on. But I find I don't want to talk about it - my friends don't understand (well the ones here), most other people don't want to hear about it, Ashley is probably sick to death of hearing about it and even here on my journal I think I'm going on too long. Which is why I'll stop. Now.

Definately time to bed - still not sleeping particularly well, but getting much better. Its these damn people keeping me up all night :P.

Anyways, I'm off

*hugs to y'all*

Later

- Dep