Thursday, March 30, 2006
Gaining On Me
I feel a darkness... not a painful darkness, but a calm and deep darkness, gaining upon my soul. With every song, every thought it builds in silent fury...
And now... the piano...
Despite having seen only nineteen winters pass, I feel as though it has been so many more. The lines on my hands that I did not notice before... a calmer acceptance of things.
And the old pictures on the shelves and in my brain are haunting... oh so haunting. This is the moment, that clear moment where I can see the mistakes... the flaws... the stupidity. The pain that has burned the souls of others away. Writing only takes it away and so while the explanations may begin, you may find that they have no end as the clearness fades.
Perhaps this is why human beings must die.
And I came to meet you, to tell you I'm sorry. To take this all back to the start. There was so much in between, too many secrets, too many questions... and then we let it fade so far away... and I can't believe it... that all this is over... can't we go back to the start... mind going in circles, trying to find the way out... but only spiraling down and out.
Left in the room next door... not believing, nor should you. And now the memories are haunting, the mental pictures and reminders overwhelming. I'm a liar and what's worse, there's no forgiveness for myself... my own Judas.
Back to the start....
You can't force love, no matter what you feel. Feelings overwhelming, losing that bit of truth. And where our understanding fails, the paranoia begins. Never to revert, this is the new beginning...
I see your head beside the pillow. Sunlight streams through the open window. It touches your skin... so light, so delicate. The perfect moment in time, wish it could be frozen forever. Spring calls through that open window... fingers running down your smooth face. Never tell me of another perfection, I've found it all in here. Warmth beside mine, entangled and enraptured. No, speak not of another perfection.
Spaghetti dinner...
Arctic sonnets...
Long walks into the setting sun...
And, in the endings, all there is is overwhelming and you seek the darkness of time. For nothing fades in the human heart and all that remains is sorrow in this modern Judas.
Perhaps this is why human beings must die.
Take it back to the start... begin again...
And all that remains inside is tears for the love let go, the love betrayed and the lives in the balance...
And now... the piano...
Despite having seen only nineteen winters pass, I feel as though it has been so many more. The lines on my hands that I did not notice before... a calmer acceptance of things.
And the old pictures on the shelves and in my brain are haunting... oh so haunting. This is the moment, that clear moment where I can see the mistakes... the flaws... the stupidity. The pain that has burned the souls of others away. Writing only takes it away and so while the explanations may begin, you may find that they have no end as the clearness fades.
Perhaps this is why human beings must die.
And I came to meet you, to tell you I'm sorry. To take this all back to the start. There was so much in between, too many secrets, too many questions... and then we let it fade so far away... and I can't believe it... that all this is over... can't we go back to the start... mind going in circles, trying to find the way out... but only spiraling down and out.
Left in the room next door... not believing, nor should you. And now the memories are haunting, the mental pictures and reminders overwhelming. I'm a liar and what's worse, there's no forgiveness for myself... my own Judas.
Back to the start....
You can't force love, no matter what you feel. Feelings overwhelming, losing that bit of truth. And where our understanding fails, the paranoia begins. Never to revert, this is the new beginning...
I see your head beside the pillow. Sunlight streams through the open window. It touches your skin... so light, so delicate. The perfect moment in time, wish it could be frozen forever. Spring calls through that open window... fingers running down your smooth face. Never tell me of another perfection, I've found it all in here. Warmth beside mine, entangled and enraptured. No, speak not of another perfection.
Spaghetti dinner...
Arctic sonnets...
Long walks into the setting sun...
And, in the endings, all there is is overwhelming and you seek the darkness of time. For nothing fades in the human heart and all that remains is sorrow in this modern Judas.
Perhaps this is why human beings must die.
Take it back to the start... begin again...
And all that remains inside is tears for the love let go, the love betrayed and the lives in the balance...
// posted by Dep @ 1:48:00 p.m.
