Evil Geniuses in a Nutshell

A lot of things have changed in the last while. I've lost contact with a lot of the people whom I call friend. And I feel as though I've lost something important it - and I don't know if I can get it back. Whats worse is most days, I don't care... life goes on, it must. But there's always those moments when everything comes back to bury you and you wonder what you've lost... what you've sacrificed so that you could be happy. And I think it was too much in my case. Too much of what made me me has been thrown out the window so that I could deal with all that I have done and all that is going on. I don't even know if I want a relationship any more... the people I have been meeting frighten me... not like in the way that Eve frightens people, more in how out of touch and disconnected they are... and yet sometimes they remind me of me and how disconnected I have become at times. And I feel so frustrated, so helpless... I'm not seeing any point to trying because people just run or don't feel the same way or have their own damnable problems that I can't or they won't let me help with. Perhaps I am supposed to be alone... perhaps that is the way of things for the moment.

I am cut off from those who could help me... the few souls in this world whom I believe to have a similar understanding of things to my own. I feel lost and alone, a feeling I have never had during this part of the year... always school has brought me the connections I need to continue, the friends that, for whatever reason, allow me to discuss and deal with my problems... they are the company I cherish. But now, there is no one... only the souls online who, while cherished, cannot offer me a hug when I need one the most.

The world gets blury... I must go before I collapse again... perhaps I will find a way to shut the world out for a few more hours.

Farewell,

- Rob