Evil Geniuses in a Nutshell

I know that recently I have been rather... blunt and overly harsh about people here. I wish to ask their forgiveness - especially of Courtney. While a lot of what I wrote I still feel to be true, I realize that this is not the forum for it. And I also realize that I have overreacted.

People aren't perfect. I can't expect anyone to be perfect not even for me. I myself am not perfect and to expect it of others would just be hypocritical. I've made a long list of mistakes over the past few months. I've screwed up two good things at once - and yes they were both good things.

So... there isn't much else to say except I'm sorry for screwing up so badly and I wish both of you long and happy lives. If I could do things over again, I would do them differently. I would try to find a solution for the problems we faced instead of letting them ruin our relationship. I would not have gotten involved with someone else until after the relationship had ended, if it would have ended. I know I tried, but I doubt I tried hard enough to explain to you how I was feeling and how big of a problem it was. I hold you blameless in this for you did not have the chance to make things right... and now that I see this, it is too late to fix anything - I've already tarnished your feelings for me beyond your ability to shine them. And I have driven Sarah away this time for good.

This has turned into a gigantic mess that I never wanted it to be. I am trying to move on with my life as apparently that is the best course of action for me at this time. But I know I will always remember what I have learned from this, as it has cost me so much - too much.

I really don't know if I will be able to continue this journal. We'll just have to see.

I really don't feel like writing more... I just want to be alone... I think I'm going to go to Tim Hortons tonight - I doubt I can sleep.

*hugs to all*

~~ Dep ~~