Saturday, August 20, 2005
I suppose this makes it official now....
Out of all the people I know, the ones who know me best (in order) are Vicki who's known me for nine years (very near ten now); Daren who's been my best friend since... since... well since grade 10 lol. and Nicky who somehow understands me even though she doesn't live near here.
Nicky first pointed this out (what is to follow). Daren's been saying it for years and Vicki agreed when I told her and that I've been like this for a while. It's come from other people as well... but finally this makes it truly official.
My mother came to me on her own and told me this in her own words.
*sighs*
I will now layout the way she put it... probably the nicest especially compared to how I put it lol.
"You try too hard to please others and don't try to please yourself... you think too much of others happiness (especially your girlfriend) and not enough of your own and it's not healthy."
my way - "so you're saying I need to be more selfish, in a good way"
She tried very hard to avoid references to Courtney and Vicki but she couldn't help herself. I won't lie here... she thinks I went "overboard" in those relationships, especially the trips to Timmins - she thought T.O. was good though.
I personally think she's wrong a bit... I like going overboard a bit and sometimes you have to go overboard. But she's right in that I don't think of myself... and I need to. Lol, I hate to sound selfish but she's right. I have ignored too many things that made me feel bad, I have ignored the signs that people weren't willing to put in the effort needed to make these relationships work (I speak in general) and I ignored the negative feelings they cause within. I need to work on that. I think I'm getting better... lol hopefully I am.
But she's right. You're all right about me... I need to seriously think about my own happiness more and less about what would make other people happy - in the words of my mother, find a balance between the two.
God I'm an idiot.
I will defiantely consider seeing a counselor on this if I feel like I can't fix it on my own.
That's a wrap for revelations tonight people.
Drop me a line... I art bored.
~~ Rob ~~
Nicky first pointed this out (what is to follow). Daren's been saying it for years and Vicki agreed when I told her and that I've been like this for a while. It's come from other people as well... but finally this makes it truly official.
My mother came to me on her own and told me this in her own words.
*sighs*
I will now layout the way she put it... probably the nicest especially compared to how I put it lol.
"You try too hard to please others and don't try to please yourself... you think too much of others happiness (especially your girlfriend) and not enough of your own and it's not healthy."
my way - "so you're saying I need to be more selfish, in a good way"
She tried very hard to avoid references to Courtney and Vicki but she couldn't help herself. I won't lie here... she thinks I went "overboard" in those relationships, especially the trips to Timmins - she thought T.O. was good though.
I personally think she's wrong a bit... I like going overboard a bit and sometimes you have to go overboard. But she's right in that I don't think of myself... and I need to. Lol, I hate to sound selfish but she's right. I have ignored too many things that made me feel bad, I have ignored the signs that people weren't willing to put in the effort needed to make these relationships work (I speak in general) and I ignored the negative feelings they cause within. I need to work on that. I think I'm getting better... lol hopefully I am.
But she's right. You're all right about me... I need to seriously think about my own happiness more and less about what would make other people happy - in the words of my mother, find a balance between the two.
God I'm an idiot.
I will defiantely consider seeing a counselor on this if I feel like I can't fix it on my own.
That's a wrap for revelations tonight people.
Drop me a line... I art bored.
~~ Rob ~~
// posted by Dep @ 9:05:00 p.m.
