Wednesday, October 06, 2004
hey hey
yet another song!
this one's here because I've been thinking a lot of Courtney lately and one of my favorite memories of her and I together is when we sang this song, while drunk, at the top of our lungs. *loves this song anyways and loves the memories that go with it* today I was wearing my Dep sweater and chewing Excel gum both of which remind me of that party. And I heard my dad's cell phone ring and that brought back some very pleasent memories. *grin* so here's the lyrics.
A long long time ago
Well I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile
And I knew if I'd had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With every paper I delivered
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died
So bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above
If the Bible tells ya so?
Now do you believe in rock and roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow
Well I know that you're in love with him
'Cause I saw you dancing in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Man I dig those riddle me blues
I was a lonely teenage bronking buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died
So bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Now for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rolling stone
But that's not how it used to be
When the jester sang for the King and Queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice well it came from you and me
Oh and while the king was looking down
The jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned
And while Lenin read a book on Marx
The quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died
We were singing
Bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Helter Skelter, in a summer swelter
Where the bird flew off for the fallout shelter
Eight miles high and falling fast
It landed foul on the grass
The players tried for a foward past
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast
Well the halftime air was sweet perfume
While the sergent's played a marching tune
We all got up to dance but we never got the chance
'Cause as the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield
Do you recall what was the feel
The day the music died
We started singing
Bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Oh and there we were all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on Jack be nimble, jack be quick
Jack Flash sat on a candle stick
'Cause fire is the devil's only friend
Oh and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in hell could break that Satan spell
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To moonlight the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the music died
He was singing
Bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked for some happy news
She just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't paly
And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken
And the three men I admired most
The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost
Well they caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died
And they were singing
Bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
They were singing
Bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
- American Pie (Don McLean *doesn't like the Madonna version at all*)
brings back some good memories it does.
So tonight and today in general were pretty good. Was a little bit down today, feeling lonely, but I cheered myself up after someone told me something *blush* that I won't repeat here in public. Maybe on my private blog afterwards *blush*
My mom and I had a "discussion" in the car. She and I had a mini-argument over Andarta and whether or not her and I should even consider dating, considering the distance. I pretty much told her it was my choice and if I was willing to wait and see where it could go, then that was my choice to make and she should learn to accept that. We then talked about finances and co-op verses regular. A lot of that is still up in the air. And also whether or not I should go there and if I should work my ass off to make the money if it's uncertain. Well I look at it like this... if I do go, the money is there. if I don't, then I'm really well off for going to U of O. And my mom had another suggestion, which has been echoed by various friends with whom I've talked about Courtney and I and several of the challenges which may face us. She thought that it would make life a lot easier if Courtney came to Ottawa U to study. I made the point that it is Courtney's choice in university and I do not presume to even suggest that she should transfer between universities. But... I dunno... was just thinking about it and talking about it hypothetically with my mom. She offered (if it was alright with my dad) that Courtney could even stay here with us for a bit until she found a job and an apartment. (not permanently... I think they have enough on their hands with three kids). Makes a little bit of sense economically... we don't have both of us going away from school, but *shrugs* not that big an issue. It allows us to be close to each other yet also apart in case things go wrong. I know that Andarta said she loved Ottawa and one of her top choices was U of O but the main reason she wasn't going (in fact one of the only reasons) is that her parents wouldn't let her go. *shrugs* I personally have told my parents they have no right to mess with my education and I will go where I want to. If they want to make suggestions or give advice, they are welcome to and I will consider it... but in the end it is my decision. Also... Andarta's parents are no longer paying for her university costs so I think she should have the right to go whereever she pleases.
(actually can you tell I actaully really like the idea of her coming here? It makes everything so much simpler.) but in the end it's her choice and I know she's made some awesome friends in Guelph and *shrugs* well the choice is up to her really. Just thought I'd mention this as my parents did offer to put her up for a month or two until she found a place to stay and a job. (and she loves Ottawa!). So Andarta... if you're reading this, the offer is on the table and if you'd like to take advantage of it, you're welcome to. And remember... remember what's been happening recently with your parents and also how they aren't paying for your education... it is truly your choice where to go. If you want to continue at Guelph, that's awesome too. I'd love the chance to go to Waterloo but U of O is also a good unviersity and I wouldn't mind going there. *shrugs* as I said it's all up to you. You can even apply to both if you want for the winter semester (or the next fall semester whatever) and make the choice then or whatever. I'm sure my parents would be willing to help you move your stuff up here if you choose to do so. And we have plenty of room for all your shoes ;) lol. but the choice is yours in the end... i'm just saying that the offer and the chance are there.
We also talked a little bit about gays and bisexuals and why they tend to have trouble telling their parents. I suppose we concluded that some have trouble because their parents are uncomfortable because they know about the negative stereotype and they want to protect their children from it, some are homophobes and say "no child of mine is going to be gay/bi/etc" and some are just people who unconciously or subconciously give the impression to their children that they are expected to be straight. Like my dad makes jokes about us having girlfriends and getting married and dating and etc all the time... not even considering that maybe there's an alternative to this. Now personally, I'm not gay and I can't see myself ever marrying a man so... in my case there is no problem. But it was an interesting conversation none-the-less.
Freya if you're reading this, drop me a line! We miss you online and I haven't heard from you since you said you were dropping out. If you don't in like a week, I swear I'm going to call you!
I'm now considering buying a webcam with my money. (my cheque went through). I've got a few reasons, but I'm going to debate it a while longer.
I really have to start going to class. Since monday of last week I have gone to 8 classes... my two labs (twice), my gym class (twice), and my cal class and intro to office class when we had tests. I should really go more often, but I'm still pulling high 80s in cal (I got 8.9 on 10 on the cal test... with about half an hour study before the test and not going to class for a week before) so it's not that bad. Have to go and find out when the midterms are for english, bio, chem and philosophy though. (means I'll be going to class from now on pretty much... at least until after the midterms.)
but I feel guilty because even if I went to all my classes (and I did up until last week) I had all this spare time to do a lot of extra stuff. I have time to go to PTY on wednesday nights, time to find a job, time to go shopping, time to hang out with friends in the room, time to go out and do stuff, and huge piles of time to come online and I feel slgihtly guilty as Andarta has no free time. *sigh* wish I could send her some of my free time. On weekends I have so much that I don't know what to do with it, honestly. That's why I'm applying for a job and telling them to give me as many hours as possible. I will work 30 or more hours a week if I can and if they'll give it to me. I honestly need something to distract me. Plus... 30 hours a week is, at 7/hour (which is what most people I know get paid) is $210 a week. That's really good for me, who has very little in the way of expenses. It would be spent on savings for university/courtneys visits/etc, magic cards and clothing. maybe a little bit on food and movies and stuff.
Heh someone at school thinks I don't dress well enough. I told her when I had the money, we could go out shopping if she wanted and we could buy me a new wardrobe. But I'm sticking with black/gothic kind of stuff. *likes the style* whether or not I fit the actual mindset, I don't really care... I like it and I think it suits me. thinking about buying a few shirts to go with the trench coat as my current cheap zellers shirts don't really go well. also thinking about something better than my faded black jeans to go with the trench coat, some more spikes and jewelry. I want to get my left ear pierced and a silver ring to go in it. I also want to get my new sunglasses and a spiked collar and another spiked bracelet. I also want to keep a pentacle somewhere in the outfit... maybe get a shirt with one on it... no clue. and a new belt, one with spikes. (not big spikes, the little bumpy ones like I have on my bracelet already). And some new shoes. THEN I have to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my hair. So Kat and I will probably be going shopping soon... I give her a lot of leeway in what I try on but I have final say in what I buy. (and I might need a pay check or two before we finish but hopefully those wil lbe coming soon!) But honestly, I need something to do with my hair. When I wear my trench coat and everything, I honestly look at my head and think "Something needs to be done... rest of me looks pretty good but my head just looks... unadorned and plain." I refused to gel my hair (as I hate the feelign of gel in my hair) and I'm not bleaching it so that I can dye it a color that'll come through. Was thinking of doing a dark red though. Or a hat, but I can't think what would look good. *shrugs* whatever. so those are the changes that are planned for this month, though most of the clothing will have to wait until after I start working and get a paycheck.
Speaking of which, I got good vibes from the guy at NYF on monday when I went, so I'm hoping they'll call back soon. Would be awesome.
*wants money*
So yeah... Kat and I going shopping soon, when we both have a few hours off of class next, probably in a week or two.
Alright I think that's about it. I don't have to be up til 8 tomorrow, so I'll be online for a while more talking to some people.
*hugs 2 Andarta*
Later all.
this one's here because I've been thinking a lot of Courtney lately and one of my favorite memories of her and I together is when we sang this song, while drunk, at the top of our lungs. *loves this song anyways and loves the memories that go with it* today I was wearing my Dep sweater and chewing Excel gum both of which remind me of that party. And I heard my dad's cell phone ring and that brought back some very pleasent memories. *grin* so here's the lyrics.
A long long time ago
Well I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile
And I knew if I'd had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With every paper I delivered
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died
So bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above
If the Bible tells ya so?
Now do you believe in rock and roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow
Well I know that you're in love with him
'Cause I saw you dancing in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Man I dig those riddle me blues
I was a lonely teenage bronking buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died
So bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Now for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rolling stone
But that's not how it used to be
When the jester sang for the King and Queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice well it came from you and me
Oh and while the king was looking down
The jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned
And while Lenin read a book on Marx
The quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died
We were singing
Bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Helter Skelter, in a summer swelter
Where the bird flew off for the fallout shelter
Eight miles high and falling fast
It landed foul on the grass
The players tried for a foward past
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast
Well the halftime air was sweet perfume
While the sergent's played a marching tune
We all got up to dance but we never got the chance
'Cause as the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield
Do you recall what was the feel
The day the music died
We started singing
Bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Oh and there we were all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on Jack be nimble, jack be quick
Jack Flash sat on a candle stick
'Cause fire is the devil's only friend
Oh and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in hell could break that Satan spell
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To moonlight the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the music died
He was singing
Bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked for some happy news
She just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't paly
And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken
And the three men I admired most
The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost
Well they caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died
And they were singing
Bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
They were singing
Bye bye Ms. American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
And good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
Singing this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
- American Pie (Don McLean *doesn't like the Madonna version at all*)
brings back some good memories it does.
So tonight and today in general were pretty good. Was a little bit down today, feeling lonely, but I cheered myself up after someone told me something *blush* that I won't repeat here in public. Maybe on my private blog afterwards *blush*
My mom and I had a "discussion" in the car. She and I had a mini-argument over Andarta and whether or not her and I should even consider dating, considering the distance. I pretty much told her it was my choice and if I was willing to wait and see where it could go, then that was my choice to make and she should learn to accept that. We then talked about finances and co-op verses regular. A lot of that is still up in the air. And also whether or not I should go there and if I should work my ass off to make the money if it's uncertain. Well I look at it like this... if I do go, the money is there. if I don't, then I'm really well off for going to U of O. And my mom had another suggestion, which has been echoed by various friends with whom I've talked about Courtney and I and several of the challenges which may face us. She thought that it would make life a lot easier if Courtney came to Ottawa U to study. I made the point that it is Courtney's choice in university and I do not presume to even suggest that she should transfer between universities. But... I dunno... was just thinking about it and talking about it hypothetically with my mom. She offered (if it was alright with my dad) that Courtney could even stay here with us for a bit until she found a job and an apartment. (not permanently... I think they have enough on their hands with three kids). Makes a little bit of sense economically... we don't have both of us going away from school, but *shrugs* not that big an issue. It allows us to be close to each other yet also apart in case things go wrong. I know that Andarta said she loved Ottawa and one of her top choices was U of O but the main reason she wasn't going (in fact one of the only reasons) is that her parents wouldn't let her go. *shrugs* I personally have told my parents they have no right to mess with my education and I will go where I want to. If they want to make suggestions or give advice, they are welcome to and I will consider it... but in the end it is my decision. Also... Andarta's parents are no longer paying for her university costs so I think she should have the right to go whereever she pleases.
(actually can you tell I actaully really like the idea of her coming here? It makes everything so much simpler.) but in the end it's her choice and I know she's made some awesome friends in Guelph and *shrugs* well the choice is up to her really. Just thought I'd mention this as my parents did offer to put her up for a month or two until she found a place to stay and a job. (and she loves Ottawa!). So Andarta... if you're reading this, the offer is on the table and if you'd like to take advantage of it, you're welcome to. And remember... remember what's been happening recently with your parents and also how they aren't paying for your education... it is truly your choice where to go. If you want to continue at Guelph, that's awesome too. I'd love the chance to go to Waterloo but U of O is also a good unviersity and I wouldn't mind going there. *shrugs* as I said it's all up to you. You can even apply to both if you want for the winter semester (or the next fall semester whatever) and make the choice then or whatever. I'm sure my parents would be willing to help you move your stuff up here if you choose to do so. And we have plenty of room for all your shoes ;) lol. but the choice is yours in the end... i'm just saying that the offer and the chance are there.
We also talked a little bit about gays and bisexuals and why they tend to have trouble telling their parents. I suppose we concluded that some have trouble because their parents are uncomfortable because they know about the negative stereotype and they want to protect their children from it, some are homophobes and say "no child of mine is going to be gay/bi/etc" and some are just people who unconciously or subconciously give the impression to their children that they are expected to be straight. Like my dad makes jokes about us having girlfriends and getting married and dating and etc all the time... not even considering that maybe there's an alternative to this. Now personally, I'm not gay and I can't see myself ever marrying a man so... in my case there is no problem. But it was an interesting conversation none-the-less.
Freya if you're reading this, drop me a line! We miss you online and I haven't heard from you since you said you were dropping out. If you don't in like a week, I swear I'm going to call you!
I'm now considering buying a webcam with my money. (my cheque went through). I've got a few reasons, but I'm going to debate it a while longer.
I really have to start going to class. Since monday of last week I have gone to 8 classes... my two labs (twice), my gym class (twice), and my cal class and intro to office class when we had tests. I should really go more often, but I'm still pulling high 80s in cal (I got 8.9 on 10 on the cal test... with about half an hour study before the test and not going to class for a week before) so it's not that bad. Have to go and find out when the midterms are for english, bio, chem and philosophy though. (means I'll be going to class from now on pretty much... at least until after the midterms.)
but I feel guilty because even if I went to all my classes (and I did up until last week) I had all this spare time to do a lot of extra stuff. I have time to go to PTY on wednesday nights, time to find a job, time to go shopping, time to hang out with friends in the room, time to go out and do stuff, and huge piles of time to come online and I feel slgihtly guilty as Andarta has no free time. *sigh* wish I could send her some of my free time. On weekends I have so much that I don't know what to do with it, honestly. That's why I'm applying for a job and telling them to give me as many hours as possible. I will work 30 or more hours a week if I can and if they'll give it to me. I honestly need something to distract me. Plus... 30 hours a week is, at 7/hour (which is what most people I know get paid) is $210 a week. That's really good for me, who has very little in the way of expenses. It would be spent on savings for university/courtneys visits/etc, magic cards and clothing. maybe a little bit on food and movies and stuff.
Heh someone at school thinks I don't dress well enough. I told her when I had the money, we could go out shopping if she wanted and we could buy me a new wardrobe. But I'm sticking with black/gothic kind of stuff. *likes the style* whether or not I fit the actual mindset, I don't really care... I like it and I think it suits me. thinking about buying a few shirts to go with the trench coat as my current cheap zellers shirts don't really go well. also thinking about something better than my faded black jeans to go with the trench coat, some more spikes and jewelry. I want to get my left ear pierced and a silver ring to go in it. I also want to get my new sunglasses and a spiked collar and another spiked bracelet. I also want to keep a pentacle somewhere in the outfit... maybe get a shirt with one on it... no clue. and a new belt, one with spikes. (not big spikes, the little bumpy ones like I have on my bracelet already). And some new shoes. THEN I have to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my hair. So Kat and I will probably be going shopping soon... I give her a lot of leeway in what I try on but I have final say in what I buy. (and I might need a pay check or two before we finish but hopefully those wil lbe coming soon!) But honestly, I need something to do with my hair. When I wear my trench coat and everything, I honestly look at my head and think "Something needs to be done... rest of me looks pretty good but my head just looks... unadorned and plain." I refused to gel my hair (as I hate the feelign of gel in my hair) and I'm not bleaching it so that I can dye it a color that'll come through. Was thinking of doing a dark red though. Or a hat, but I can't think what would look good. *shrugs* whatever. so those are the changes that are planned for this month, though most of the clothing will have to wait until after I start working and get a paycheck.
Speaking of which, I got good vibes from the guy at NYF on monday when I went, so I'm hoping they'll call back soon. Would be awesome.
*wants money*
So yeah... Kat and I going shopping soon, when we both have a few hours off of class next, probably in a week or two.
Alright I think that's about it. I don't have to be up til 8 tomorrow, so I'll be online for a while more talking to some people.
*hugs 2 Andarta*
Later all.
// posted by Dep @ 9:57:00 p.m.
