Friday, September 10, 2004
little lonely right now
*sigh* i'm so down right now... I haven't talked to Andarta since monday night, four days ago and nor have I recieved any messages from her. She's probably just really busy today, with all the stuff surrounding her at university... yeah that's probably it.
(I am so f***ing paranoid)
So... I bet people want to know what's going on between the two of us. At the moment, I'm not sure. Last time we talked, she still wanted to wait until she sees me again, which is at an undefined point in the future. I'm going with that until she tells me otherwise...
*sigh*
I honestly think it's worth it... not completely sure that it's worth it but I think it is and my thoughts will be confirmed by her coming here and us spending more time together (or proven false but... whatever). I hope that that day comes as soon as possible...
To be honest, long-distance relationships are hard, I know that. But... what's worse is sitting in limbo. It's like this... I can't look for a girlfriend because I really like Andarta and therefore am willing to wait until she gives me an answer. But I still don't know what that answer is... she could meet someone else while she's at university, she could change her mind, a lot of things could happen. If we're dating, at least I have the knowledge that she wants to be with me and therefore the relationship, even the long-distance part of it, become easier to handle. Right now it's really difficult for me... we're not technically dating (Even though I act as though I am and sometimes accidently refer to her as my girlfriend but I don't know if she does that) so therefore I keep having visions of her finding someone else there and going with them instead of me. If this happens... well there's not much I can do about it is there? It's her life and her choices and I don't pretend that I can control any of them. It would be... very saddening. *sigh* I hope it doesn't happen... I'm probably just being paranoid.
Well enough of this. Hopefully Andarta will be on later tonight and we can talk some more or she'll reply to one of my e-mails. I'm going to go watch X-Men II at 9PM and i'll be back on at 11:30... tomorrow's not a school night so I've got a long time on the internet tonight. Until 9 I think I'll listen to some music and sing some... something sad and depressive... maybe evanescence, I'm in the mood for some of that.
Alright... later all
*hugs* to andarta and no matter what you decide you'll always be one of my friends.
(I am so f***ing paranoid)
So... I bet people want to know what's going on between the two of us. At the moment, I'm not sure. Last time we talked, she still wanted to wait until she sees me again, which is at an undefined point in the future. I'm going with that until she tells me otherwise...
*sigh*
I honestly think it's worth it... not completely sure that it's worth it but I think it is and my thoughts will be confirmed by her coming here and us spending more time together (or proven false but... whatever). I hope that that day comes as soon as possible...
To be honest, long-distance relationships are hard, I know that. But... what's worse is sitting in limbo. It's like this... I can't look for a girlfriend because I really like Andarta and therefore am willing to wait until she gives me an answer. But I still don't know what that answer is... she could meet someone else while she's at university, she could change her mind, a lot of things could happen. If we're dating, at least I have the knowledge that she wants to be with me and therefore the relationship, even the long-distance part of it, become easier to handle. Right now it's really difficult for me... we're not technically dating (Even though I act as though I am and sometimes accidently refer to her as my girlfriend but I don't know if she does that) so therefore I keep having visions of her finding someone else there and going with them instead of me. If this happens... well there's not much I can do about it is there? It's her life and her choices and I don't pretend that I can control any of them. It would be... very saddening. *sigh* I hope it doesn't happen... I'm probably just being paranoid.
Well enough of this. Hopefully Andarta will be on later tonight and we can talk some more or she'll reply to one of my e-mails. I'm going to go watch X-Men II at 9PM and i'll be back on at 11:30... tomorrow's not a school night so I've got a long time on the internet tonight. Until 9 I think I'll listen to some music and sing some... something sad and depressive... maybe evanescence, I'm in the mood for some of that.
Alright... later all
*hugs* to andarta and no matter what you decide you'll always be one of my friends.
// posted by Dep @ 8:16:00 p.m.
