Evil Geniuses in a Nutshell

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Location: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada

My name is Robert. We've determined that I am idiosyncratic, omnisexual (though we're currently considering pansexual as a more proper alternative), occasionally sweet, occasionally sarcastic, male (still waiting on test results), STI free

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Thursday, September 30, 2004

The Blue Faerie

Current Music: The Reason Is You (Hoobastank)
Current Mood: Content :D

Let me start, as has become almost normal, with song lyrics. (go song lyrics!)

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over now
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over now
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over nowA
nd the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I'm now
And the reason is you
-The Reason Is You (Hoobastank)

So, lets get some mundane trivialities out of the way before I start on the heavier stuff.

College is awesome. No arguements tolerated, COLLEGE IS AWESOME! *loves college* and I love the people I've met there who are more mature, think deeper and I find are worth knowing more than those people who I knew back in high school (with a few exceptions... Freya and Andarta and Raven chiefly).
Courses are going fine... I found that a lot of them don't require much work, so I've ended up skipping a lot of them. Have a test on monday though so most of the weekend will be revision. (test in calculus)

I've finished Andarta's present (which I've been working on for two weeks now) and it looks awesome. I'm going to be mailing it to her, along with a very long letter, tomorrow after school.

Story... yes I know! But things have been kindof up in the air for the past few weeks... but most of them came down yesterday and so I am (after I finish the test on monday) now ready to begin writing. As I said, the first story is going to be called Dawn and it'll be done in... well I may just take a few long hours tomorrow and write the whole first draft. Maybe do some editing on the weekend, but I'll be posting the rough draft of at least the first chapter on my website sometime on the weekend. So watch for that (I'll post here too).
Pain in my leg is gone from my muscle cramp (or whatever that was) earlier in the week. Feels fine now.

I have taken a vow to stop drinking soft drinks. I find that caffeine tends to depress me and also that when I cut out soft drinks from my diet, my weight goes down a lot. So I am going to stop drinking them completely for a while (a month, two maybe even three) and then when I have reached my goal in weight, I will limit myself to one can a day. But usually, once I stop drinking soft drinks, I find it's hard to start again, because I hate the taste. I can't drink Pepsi anymore and I used to all the time. My goal in weight loss is about 180 lbs (slightly under 60lbs less than what I currently weigh) but honestly... I'll stop when I am truly happy with the way I look. I don't mind a little fat, but at the moment it's just too much for me to like the way I look. If this doesn't work, I plan a similar vow versus chocolate. (hopefully it won't go that far though)

Alright... the major issue: Andarta.

The title of this post is "The Blue Faerie" which I'm sure only Andarta will get. LOL.

Yesterday and today I had a lot of time to think about things in my life and what was important. I realized that yes I was missing some opportunities (Though no obvious ones that I've noted). But I figured something out. Between Andarta and anyone else I know... I would pick her all other things being equal. I think, in my mind, that she is the person who is most right for me. Also... for me, dating has always been the search for someone to spend your life with... that special person. I know some people get frightened if I start thinking very long term in relationships so I won't say that I picture Andarta and I getting married one day, as Dragon and Scorpie do. But I do think that, out of all the people I know, she has the highest chance (and that's a fairly high chance too) of being that special person. It feels right. And if she was here, I wouldn't think twice about dating her. So what does the distance change? Does it change my feelings for her? No. Does it change her personality or anything about her? No. Does it change the most important things in a relationship? No it doesn't. Relationships to me have always been about caring and loving the other person. The time spent together is something I really enjoy. But for the right person... I'm willing to endure a lot. And therefore... Andarta, in answer to your question Why? I will tell you this: "The Reason Is You". (hence why I picked the title). So... I suppose what I'm saying is... come and visit and lets see where this can go *hugs*.

I'm in a good mood now, having figured this out. I feel happy. Can't wait until your visit Andarta.

Alright... I'm done for now. Maybe another post tomorrow night.

*hugs to all and more hugs & kisses to Andarta*

Later

// posted by Dep @ 8:28:00 p.m.

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