Saturday, August 28, 2004
dude.... chatterbox
After I finish this post, I'm going to be adding a chatterbox (for no other reason than scrabble has one and i think it's cool... even if no one uses it lol.) and maybe playing with my blog's colour scheme (i've learned some interesting scripts since I last fiddled with things).
So as for my cold, it is getting better, thank you. Still there though and my nose is still raw from blowing it, but i'm alive and on the mend.
12 days to go until Andarta's visit... still hyped up about it. Lol, I think I'm annoying people when I randomly burst into song or just blurt out "12 days to go!"
Can't touch this do-do-do-do
;) lol
Alright, so it's time for some rambling... have you ever wondered as to the origin of language? I mean how could one invent something like it and spread it around? It seems absurd. To me, this is what the invention of language could have been...
(this is a joke story btw. There is no basis of truth in it nor have I done any research. Believe it at your own risk.)
One day, some caveman came up with the idea of making funny sounds while pointing at various objects. He then repeated the sounds later and people got the idea that he wanted to say something about the object. He also added hand gestures and American Sign Language (or ASL, mine's 17/m/Quebec, what's yours?) and made sounds for them too. Soon the entire tribe was making these strange noises to refer to various objects. Eventually, another tribe heard them and decided to make the same noises. Eventually the original tribe heard them doing this and decided to change the noises so that no one would know what they were saying. The other tribe caught on and changed theirs too. Then, there was a smarter tribe who wanted to sound really smart and really important. They invented a language full of complicated words that were long and sounded intelligent. Thus was the birth of Latin. Some pigheaded tribes wanted to invent a crazy language that no one would understand. This was the invention of French. So history moves along and many more languages were invented, each by a particular tribe. Then, one day, a tribe had an idea. They made funny symbols on the wall and they pointed at the symbol and made a sound. This was, of course, the birth of writing. Soon everyone caught on, but they all used different symbols. Everything became really confused because intertribal marriages were becoming common and no one could understand what the other was grunting... whether it was "OH YEAH THAT'S AWESOME, KEEP GOING" or "OW THAT HURTS GET OFF ME" (this led to a lot of whipped (literally) males.) So one caveman decided to take the most common languages (by that time Latin, French and two others called German and Spanish which was really an offshoot of French created by a civil war in a tribe whose details are incredibly long and boring,even though the war lasted five minutes before half the tribe (two people) were killed. ) and mix them all into one language, which would become THE language of the world. This tribe was called the Britons and they lived on an island with awful weather and awesome ale. This language, which involved words from all four languages so that everyone could at least understand a quarter of what anyone speaking this language was saying, soon grew to include its own words. Such words are not even understood today by the majority of people, they include nookie, wanking, rubbers, kip, boot (not the kind that goes on your foot) and other crazy words. So everything was good and this language (called English, which means "Language for Dummies" in Micronese, a language spoken by people in Micronasia and in Microsoft Headquarters today) soon grew so that many people in the areas conquerored by the Britons (and forced to speak this English) knew it well. They even knew how to curse exceptionally well in it as it was the only curses the british soliders knew and would understand. Not to mention it was exceptionally useful in taunting those who could not speak English. Eventually though, these conquered areas (Called a variety things from slave colonies to just plain colonies to dominions) grew dissatisfied with various aspects of Briton culture. One thought that the ale was too strong. This group, spouting a lot of nonsense and hypocrisy about "Freedom" broke away from Briton in a six day long bloody battle, in which they were thouroughly trounced until the French decided to step in and save the day. (this is actual historical fact, if the Patriot (starring Mel Gibson) can be believed.) Another group, then a slave colony composed of criminals, was freed by the British because the kangaroos kept kicking the soldiers in the arse and a cat keep chansing the kangaroo with his son following behind him saying "Look, look, Father, I've caught a mouse!" and were getting really annoying, especially with all the children laughing at them. Not to mention that Tas next door was getting annoying. This group didn't really know what to call themselves, and therefore called themselves Australia (which means Choosing a Name for Dummies in Micronese). There were also various minor other rebellions, but the most important was the rebellion of the north. In a six hour battle (held in a conferance room in Buckingham Palace, home of people who like incest no wonder their genes are fucked up, and which mostly consisted of verbal argument, though there were reports that someone spit in someone elses face but as there is no confirmation and no report as to who spat in whos face, I consider this to be mere hearsay.) a dominion of Briton managed to free themselves from the shackles of the Briton. However, they still had to join in any war that Briton started and still had to honor the Queen (some old lady) and still had to have a representative of the queen sign all laws. They knew what they wanted to call themselves, they called themselves Canada which meant, in a native tongue in the land "Land of the Freezing Arses, Rocks, Trees and a touch of Water." Either that or it meant "The Village" but as Montreal wasn't around at the time, I highly doubt this. This name was so popular that it went on to inspire a song by a band of arrogant worms. it goes something like this. "Canada is so great... because we've got rocks and trees and trees and rocks and rocks and trees and trees and rock and rocks and trees and trees and rocks and rocks and trees and trees and rocks and... water." Anyways, these three countries each decided to corrupt English in their own way. The Australians added a ridiculous accent and words such as dingo and wallaby and knife (which meant spoon) and spoon (which meant knife). They also invented a game called Knifey Spooney, which is a completly insane game to play unless you're an australian or have two-tenths of a brain (but not more than three-tenths) in which a knife (meaning spoon) becomes a spoon (meaning knife) and a spoon (meaning knife) becomes a knife (meaning spoon). They also invented a nickname for themselves, namely Aussies. The Americans decided to add a large collection of accents which no one understands but those who have the accent (obviously part of their national security, making compartments so that if one is infiltrated, they can't break into the others.). They also decided to make some new words, like Constitution and Senate and President and Patriotism and "The Second Amendment". They also decided to enter the stupidest people on earth competition and they haven't figured out whether or not they won yet. Canada decided not to mess with the language too much, except to change the accent and add a few words, such as "Freezing" and "Cold" and "Igloo" and "Curling". They also invented the word "Hockey" which refers to our second national sport (our first is Lacrosse, a game I've barely heard of and never seen played by Canadians volunatirly.) which involves a lot of violence. And they say the americans are the violent ones?! They also took out a lot of the crazy British words, like nookie, rubber and wanking, though they are still in use by cool canadians. They also came up with a nickname for themselves, the Canucks. Oh, yes, the Americans! They also came up with a nickname for themselves. It's "GTMA", which stands for Gun-Toting Manical Arseholes. So we've got all these languages flying around and all these written forms of it. Then, someone from Micronasia (the last decendant of a pimp from there) who called himself Bill Gates decided to invent a better language. A "unversial language". He, not being very original, called it "binary" (what kind of name for that is a language) and invented machines which speak it. So far, only machines and comic strip characters and t-shirts can speak it. I certainly haven't learned how. It also took a long time to write as every little squiggle that cavemen ever wrote on a wall was represented by a 8-digit long number. *phew* too much work there. And while I'm talking about languages no one understands, what about the Eastern Asian languages? There is a tribe called the Japanese who invented squiggles that represent ideas and phrases, much like early caveman writting which evolved (or devolved rather) into using symbols to represent grunting noises. They were accompyned by the Chinese, with whom they collaberated (along with several other tribes and space aliens from planet Z. Yes Z not X.) They decided to make it so complicated that no one could figure out what they were saying. The symbols grew horribly complex so that only an artist could accurately write them. The spoken form involved tones so that one could change ones meaning from "Fuck me, right here right now" to "I hate your guts" with a mere change in pitch. It also gave birth to a popular song called "Right Here, Right Now" which either means "I hate your guts" or it's about sex. I haven't figured out which yet. In any case, they suceeded and the space aliens went on their way to America where they started anally probing people for fun.
So there you have it my friends. The complete history of language upon the planet Earth. This concludes my rambling.
LOL, alright, I'll make a confession. I have no clue how languages started. But still, it's a... possible theory (as all things are possible). (alright, alright, maybe I just did it for a laugh, admit it you were laughing).
Alright, my funny idea exhausted, I'm going to go post in my private blog. Later all (and be watching for that chatterbox)
Later
So as for my cold, it is getting better, thank you. Still there though and my nose is still raw from blowing it, but i'm alive and on the mend.
12 days to go until Andarta's visit... still hyped up about it. Lol, I think I'm annoying people when I randomly burst into song or just blurt out "12 days to go!"
Can't touch this do-do-do-do
;) lol
Alright, so it's time for some rambling... have you ever wondered as to the origin of language? I mean how could one invent something like it and spread it around? It seems absurd. To me, this is what the invention of language could have been...
(this is a joke story btw. There is no basis of truth in it nor have I done any research. Believe it at your own risk.)
One day, some caveman came up with the idea of making funny sounds while pointing at various objects. He then repeated the sounds later and people got the idea that he wanted to say something about the object. He also added hand gestures and American Sign Language (or ASL, mine's 17/m/Quebec, what's yours?) and made sounds for them too. Soon the entire tribe was making these strange noises to refer to various objects. Eventually, another tribe heard them and decided to make the same noises. Eventually the original tribe heard them doing this and decided to change the noises so that no one would know what they were saying. The other tribe caught on and changed theirs too. Then, there was a smarter tribe who wanted to sound really smart and really important. They invented a language full of complicated words that were long and sounded intelligent. Thus was the birth of Latin. Some pigheaded tribes wanted to invent a crazy language that no one would understand. This was the invention of French. So history moves along and many more languages were invented, each by a particular tribe. Then, one day, a tribe had an idea. They made funny symbols on the wall and they pointed at the symbol and made a sound. This was, of course, the birth of writing. Soon everyone caught on, but they all used different symbols. Everything became really confused because intertribal marriages were becoming common and no one could understand what the other was grunting... whether it was "OH YEAH THAT'S AWESOME, KEEP GOING" or "OW THAT HURTS GET OFF ME" (this led to a lot of whipped (literally) males.) So one caveman decided to take the most common languages (by that time Latin, French and two others called German and Spanish which was really an offshoot of French created by a civil war in a tribe whose details are incredibly long and boring,even though the war lasted five minutes before half the tribe (two people) were killed. ) and mix them all into one language, which would become THE language of the world. This tribe was called the Britons and they lived on an island with awful weather and awesome ale. This language, which involved words from all four languages so that everyone could at least understand a quarter of what anyone speaking this language was saying, soon grew to include its own words. Such words are not even understood today by the majority of people, they include nookie, wanking, rubbers, kip, boot (not the kind that goes on your foot) and other crazy words. So everything was good and this language (called English, which means "Language for Dummies" in Micronese, a language spoken by people in Micronasia and in Microsoft Headquarters today) soon grew so that many people in the areas conquerored by the Britons (and forced to speak this English) knew it well. They even knew how to curse exceptionally well in it as it was the only curses the british soliders knew and would understand. Not to mention it was exceptionally useful in taunting those who could not speak English. Eventually though, these conquered areas (Called a variety things from slave colonies to just plain colonies to dominions) grew dissatisfied with various aspects of Briton culture. One thought that the ale was too strong. This group, spouting a lot of nonsense and hypocrisy about "Freedom" broke away from Briton in a six day long bloody battle, in which they were thouroughly trounced until the French decided to step in and save the day. (this is actual historical fact, if the Patriot (starring Mel Gibson) can be believed.) Another group, then a slave colony composed of criminals, was freed by the British because the kangaroos kept kicking the soldiers in the arse and a cat keep chansing the kangaroo with his son following behind him saying "Look, look, Father, I've caught a mouse!" and were getting really annoying, especially with all the children laughing at them. Not to mention that Tas next door was getting annoying. This group didn't really know what to call themselves, and therefore called themselves Australia (which means Choosing a Name for Dummies in Micronese). There were also various minor other rebellions, but the most important was the rebellion of the north. In a six hour battle (held in a conferance room in Buckingham Palace, home of people who like incest no wonder their genes are fucked up, and which mostly consisted of verbal argument, though there were reports that someone spit in someone elses face but as there is no confirmation and no report as to who spat in whos face, I consider this to be mere hearsay.) a dominion of Briton managed to free themselves from the shackles of the Briton. However, they still had to join in any war that Briton started and still had to honor the Queen (some old lady) and still had to have a representative of the queen sign all laws. They knew what they wanted to call themselves, they called themselves Canada which meant, in a native tongue in the land "Land of the Freezing Arses, Rocks, Trees and a touch of Water." Either that or it meant "The Village" but as Montreal wasn't around at the time, I highly doubt this. This name was so popular that it went on to inspire a song by a band of arrogant worms. it goes something like this. "Canada is so great... because we've got rocks and trees and trees and rocks and rocks and trees and trees and rock and rocks and trees and trees and rocks and rocks and trees and trees and rocks and... water." Anyways, these three countries each decided to corrupt English in their own way. The Australians added a ridiculous accent and words such as dingo and wallaby and knife (which meant spoon) and spoon (which meant knife). They also invented a game called Knifey Spooney, which is a completly insane game to play unless you're an australian or have two-tenths of a brain (but not more than three-tenths) in which a knife (meaning spoon) becomes a spoon (meaning knife) and a spoon (meaning knife) becomes a knife (meaning spoon). They also invented a nickname for themselves, namely Aussies. The Americans decided to add a large collection of accents which no one understands but those who have the accent (obviously part of their national security, making compartments so that if one is infiltrated, they can't break into the others.). They also decided to make some new words, like Constitution and Senate and President and Patriotism and "The Second Amendment". They also decided to enter the stupidest people on earth competition and they haven't figured out whether or not they won yet. Canada decided not to mess with the language too much, except to change the accent and add a few words, such as "Freezing" and "Cold" and "Igloo" and "Curling". They also invented the word "Hockey" which refers to our second national sport (our first is Lacrosse, a game I've barely heard of and never seen played by Canadians volunatirly.) which involves a lot of violence. And they say the americans are the violent ones?! They also took out a lot of the crazy British words, like nookie, rubber and wanking, though they are still in use by cool canadians. They also came up with a nickname for themselves, the Canucks. Oh, yes, the Americans! They also came up with a nickname for themselves. It's "GTMA", which stands for Gun-Toting Manical Arseholes. So we've got all these languages flying around and all these written forms of it. Then, someone from Micronasia (the last decendant of a pimp from there) who called himself Bill Gates decided to invent a better language. A "unversial language". He, not being very original, called it "binary" (what kind of name for that is a language) and invented machines which speak it. So far, only machines and comic strip characters and t-shirts can speak it. I certainly haven't learned how. It also took a long time to write as every little squiggle that cavemen ever wrote on a wall was represented by a 8-digit long number. *phew* too much work there. And while I'm talking about languages no one understands, what about the Eastern Asian languages? There is a tribe called the Japanese who invented squiggles that represent ideas and phrases, much like early caveman writting which evolved (or devolved rather) into using symbols to represent grunting noises. They were accompyned by the Chinese, with whom they collaberated (along with several other tribes and space aliens from planet Z. Yes Z not X.) They decided to make it so complicated that no one could figure out what they were saying. The symbols grew horribly complex so that only an artist could accurately write them. The spoken form involved tones so that one could change ones meaning from "Fuck me, right here right now" to "I hate your guts" with a mere change in pitch. It also gave birth to a popular song called "Right Here, Right Now" which either means "I hate your guts" or it's about sex. I haven't figured out which yet. In any case, they suceeded and the space aliens went on their way to America where they started anally probing people for fun.
So there you have it my friends. The complete history of language upon the planet Earth. This concludes my rambling.
LOL, alright, I'll make a confession. I have no clue how languages started. But still, it's a... possible theory (as all things are possible). (alright, alright, maybe I just did it for a laugh, admit it you were laughing).
Alright, my funny idea exhausted, I'm going to go post in my private blog. Later all (and be watching for that chatterbox)
Later
// posted by Dep @ 8:50:00 p.m.
