Evil Geniuses in a Nutshell

Alright, I am back home now. And I have an explanation for the many people (all two of you) who are disappointed/pissed off at me/angry at me (Etc, etc, etc) for one of my recent decisions. Listen and let me explain something to you.

Of course I'm talking about the decision to ask Andarta out again. She still hasn't told me yes or no, but she hasn't been on-line and I suspect she's writing me a letter. I don't know why, guess I'll find out when I read the letter. So probably next week sometime if it's a letter and hopefully soon if she just can't come on-line (for work or whatever reason). But let me explain why.

I know a lot of you were... upset (that's putting it mildly) when you found out what happened. What happened was, for two days Andarta dated someone else besides me and then broke up with me. (this is my understanding of events and I really don't know if it's true. It could be different for all I know.) So I got slightly upset and didn't talk to her until last week about. Then... I started talking to her again and I realized something. I really like her. All our similarities and... just everything about her. We talked on the phone last weekend. I can't explain the attraction, it's just there. And it's strong. It's stronger than the one I feel for Goldie. I don't want to say I'm in love because I think love takes time to develop. But I really like her and care for her. I did a stupid thing in saying I hated her because I don't. It's the exact opposite and I should have never said that.

Part of feeling this way for a person is being able to forgive them. The people out there who feel the way I do know what I mean. Freya and Angelis know what I've mean, they've had more than their share of bumps and they keep pulling through. Scorpie and DDM should know what I mean. Scrabble and her boyfriend well... I dunno. But from what Scrabble says about him, she knows what I mean. It's being able to forgive them of almost anything. Sure, I was angry for a while and hurt. But it's in the past. It didn't work out between them and now... well... I've forgiven her. Sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes we do stupid things. I've done it, you've done it, we all have. I've always thought that the only way a relationship can work is if two people can forgive each other of their mistakes and be willing to try and fix them. That's one of the problems with me and Vicki, she can't forgive me for my mistakes and I don't tell her hers so she can fix them. Because everyone is going to make mistakes. Maybe it hasn't happened in your relationship yet, but there will be mistakes. I guarentee it. No one is perfect. I've already forgiven Courtney of this. I'm not upset, angry or disappointed in her. It happened. Alright, it's in the past and let's try and start anew.

So that's pretty much the reasoning behind my actions. Now... to be honest... if you still want to be disappointed in me (and I know who is) then ask yourself this. Picture yourself with the guy or girl of your dreams. Picture the same situation. And now tell me that you would not forgive them. Tell me you'd cut them out of your life and never speak to them again and never even consider dating them much less ask them out again if they'd done what Andarta did. Honestly now. If that doesn't help... then keep your opinion to yourself please. It is my choice and her choice and to be honest, I don't care if you're disappointed in my choice. I keep telling people that you shouldn't let people interfere with your decisions on education, girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife, etc, etc etc because it is YOUR life to live, not theirs. And that is the way I live my life. I'm so not a hypocrite.

Okay, Andarta just came on-line so I'll wrap this up quick.

Later all

(Wasn't that quick?)