Friday, June 25, 2004
So all things end (continued)
Alright, it's been a few days and I feel up to posting more about this. Perhaps clarify a few of my own thoughts and such. But before I do, some stuff on a non-related topic.
Today's grad. Finally high school is over. Funny, it's not really exciting, but maybe I'm just not in the mood. The band is playing at grad today and we're doing a lot of rock and roll and some blues as well. And Dave (curse his name forever) has decided that Adam and I (Adam is our lead singer) are going to be getting an award for MVP in the band. (thank you *sarcasm* lol) I'm also getting at least two more awards, the Music award (not that much of an honor as there are like two other people getting it with me) and the Math award (and for advanced math that's an honor). Not sure what other one's I am getting, depends a lot on how I did on the exams. Chemistry is a possibility. I don't think I got the Physics award. I know I didn't get the Gym or the French or the Economics award. English is a minor long-shot possibility (but probably not). Then we have the scholarships and etc after that and I have no clue about any of those. Maybe, maybe not, we'll see. I don't really need them, with my RESP but hey... more money the better.
So... perhaps the more predominant topic in my thoughts rather than Graduation... Andarta.
On one hand I am very depressed. Andarta was... the perfect woman for me. I couldn't complain about anything, except where she lived. And, to be honest, if she were anything other than perfect, I probably would have broken up with her. The only reason I stayed was because she was perfect and I thought the relationship would go very far and so I was willing to wait a year or two to be with her. On the other hand, the distance really is painful and perhaps most people aren't willing to go through it for anyone. So perhaps this was the best decision she could have made. It doesn't matter as it is made and I'm going to have to deal with the consequences. Right now, as I said, I'm sortof down and depressed. Perhaps in the future I'll remember what Raven said the day Andarta and I started going out: "If it doesn't work out Rob, remember at least that it's possible for someone to love you." It's true and in my head I know that it's possible that (And perhaps probable that) I can find someone who loves me. But right now I feel like a large part of me has been torn out and I'm still trying to deal with that. Forgive me.
Alright I've moped enough on-line. Time to keep that in my head.
Hopefully my life will improve. Hopefully I'll meet another special woman like Andarta or maybe we'll get back together in the future. I don't know, the future is for no man to see. I'm just not holding on to any hope for her and I to get back together as I don't want to be let down again.
Farewell my audience.
Today's grad. Finally high school is over. Funny, it's not really exciting, but maybe I'm just not in the mood. The band is playing at grad today and we're doing a lot of rock and roll and some blues as well. And Dave (curse his name forever) has decided that Adam and I (Adam is our lead singer) are going to be getting an award for MVP in the band. (thank you *sarcasm* lol) I'm also getting at least two more awards, the Music award (not that much of an honor as there are like two other people getting it with me) and the Math award (and for advanced math that's an honor). Not sure what other one's I am getting, depends a lot on how I did on the exams. Chemistry is a possibility. I don't think I got the Physics award. I know I didn't get the Gym or the French or the Economics award. English is a minor long-shot possibility (but probably not). Then we have the scholarships and etc after that and I have no clue about any of those. Maybe, maybe not, we'll see. I don't really need them, with my RESP but hey... more money the better.
So... perhaps the more predominant topic in my thoughts rather than Graduation... Andarta.
On one hand I am very depressed. Andarta was... the perfect woman for me. I couldn't complain about anything, except where she lived. And, to be honest, if she were anything other than perfect, I probably would have broken up with her. The only reason I stayed was because she was perfect and I thought the relationship would go very far and so I was willing to wait a year or two to be with her. On the other hand, the distance really is painful and perhaps most people aren't willing to go through it for anyone. So perhaps this was the best decision she could have made. It doesn't matter as it is made and I'm going to have to deal with the consequences. Right now, as I said, I'm sortof down and depressed. Perhaps in the future I'll remember what Raven said the day Andarta and I started going out: "If it doesn't work out Rob, remember at least that it's possible for someone to love you." It's true and in my head I know that it's possible that (And perhaps probable that) I can find someone who loves me. But right now I feel like a large part of me has been torn out and I'm still trying to deal with that. Forgive me.
Alright I've moped enough on-line. Time to keep that in my head.
Hopefully my life will improve. Hopefully I'll meet another special woman like Andarta or maybe we'll get back together in the future. I don't know, the future is for no man to see. I'm just not holding on to any hope for her and I to get back together as I don't want to be let down again.
Farewell my audience.
// posted by Dep @ 10:49:00 a.m.
