Tuesday, February 03, 2004
tuesday
tomorrow, scorpi and dark angel are going to talk about something. perhaps this is me being paranoid but the first thing that jumped into mind was "she's gonna ask scorpi to tell me to lay off."
in any case, tomorrow after they talk, i'm going to talk with scorpi a bit then ask dark angel if she's got an answer for me.
i'm really not happy with the current situation. it's got to end sometime. and tomorrow is the day i'm going to make it end.
i don't really know what i'll do if it does end. probably mope a lot. try not to get involved in a relationship, though i've got one that may work out and another that i still have hopes for.
(dark angel is the best shot though. and she's first on my list.)
so what's going to go on tomorrow? here's how i pictured it happening.
we're at the bus stop in the morning. i ask her to follow me into the other bus stop which is deserted. there i take her hand and brush her cheek, then tell her the following.
"(Dark Angel), there's something that I should have told you a long time ago. Something important. Right here, right now isn't the time to say it, but it must be said. You know what it is and if you don't, then I'll tell you right now. (She tells me she knows what it is) Good. Now... lately I've been worried thatyou're avoiding this topic. If it's because you do not want to hear this from me, that it would make no difference at all, that you have no similar feelings for me, then tell me right here, right now and we'll forget about it. I hope that isn't the case. If it's otherwise, then the date is of your choosing. I could spend an hour explaining everythiing to you, answering most of of your questions, including the one you asked last september and that I never answered... "Where does this leave us and what do you want." Last september I didn't know. Today, I know. Today I can tell you exactly what I want and I can show you everything I've felt for you for the past few years. I've identified several of the mistakes I made last time and I can fix them. And I have something to say about the other mistakes. Now... you have a choice. You can tell me to drop it completely, in which case do NOT expect me to be back ever again. You can agree to listen to me, either right here right now or at a time and place of your choosing (preferably not in a crowd?). I'm not going to demand an answer from you then and there after we talk. You have all the time you need to think about it after that. But for the choice whether or not to hear me out, it must be made today. If you want today to think about it, fine. I'll skip band and we'll talk on the way home. But let me know today. I need to know. This has dragged on too long."
such is the gist of my speech. it'll be delievered tomorrow morning. (note that the above is a rough outline. i always change my speeches.)
anyways... later all.
dep
in any case, tomorrow after they talk, i'm going to talk with scorpi a bit then ask dark angel if she's got an answer for me.
i'm really not happy with the current situation. it's got to end sometime. and tomorrow is the day i'm going to make it end.
i don't really know what i'll do if it does end. probably mope a lot. try not to get involved in a relationship, though i've got one that may work out and another that i still have hopes for.
(dark angel is the best shot though. and she's first on my list.)
so what's going to go on tomorrow? here's how i pictured it happening.
we're at the bus stop in the morning. i ask her to follow me into the other bus stop which is deserted. there i take her hand and brush her cheek, then tell her the following.
"(Dark Angel), there's something that I should have told you a long time ago. Something important. Right here, right now isn't the time to say it, but it must be said. You know what it is and if you don't, then I'll tell you right now. (She tells me she knows what it is) Good. Now... lately I've been worried thatyou're avoiding this topic. If it's because you do not want to hear this from me, that it would make no difference at all, that you have no similar feelings for me, then tell me right here, right now and we'll forget about it. I hope that isn't the case. If it's otherwise, then the date is of your choosing. I could spend an hour explaining everythiing to you, answering most of of your questions, including the one you asked last september and that I never answered... "Where does this leave us and what do you want." Last september I didn't know. Today, I know. Today I can tell you exactly what I want and I can show you everything I've felt for you for the past few years. I've identified several of the mistakes I made last time and I can fix them. And I have something to say about the other mistakes. Now... you have a choice. You can tell me to drop it completely, in which case do NOT expect me to be back ever again. You can agree to listen to me, either right here right now or at a time and place of your choosing (preferably not in a crowd?). I'm not going to demand an answer from you then and there after we talk. You have all the time you need to think about it after that. But for the choice whether or not to hear me out, it must be made today. If you want today to think about it, fine. I'll skip band and we'll talk on the way home. But let me know today. I need to know. This has dragged on too long."
such is the gist of my speech. it'll be delievered tomorrow morning. (note that the above is a rough outline. i always change my speeches.)
anyways... later all.
dep
// posted by Dep @ 6:27:00 p.m.
