Evil Geniuses in a Nutshell

welcome to my misery.

today for the most part, went wonderfully. we went into hull, bought some stuff for the party, then wentand had lunch then went back to her place where we played cards and watched movies.

this hurts... but i will go on...

apparently i was being completely obnoxious... though i honestly do not know why. i made one comment which could be interpreted as rude... and it was accidental. i had no clue it was even about that until after i left and my parents told me

i am in a shitty mood right now. i have to spend new years eve alone... so i will

i'ev given up hope. people are too stupid. those of you whom i trust have, by now, recieved a copy of my two latest poems.

this is my last blog... and i will do the final closing of my website later tonight.

there will be no more.

For those of you who worry about me... dont...i am not going to the next world, i am staying in this one. But I have lost hope in mankind... in love... in everything really, and i see no point in continuing this blog... or my website.

no... there is no hope.

you are welcome to try and talk me out of it... make me believe.

i desperatly want to... but i can't anymore.

it's not because vicki said no... she didn't say no, and indeed may say yes if i ever ask her.

it's because i'm tired of being me... so... screw it

can't handle the depression, the being alone. i've stopped caring now about being alone.

indeed i believe i have even come to enjoy it.

please... those of you who believe in me... make me believe in myself again...

make me see there is hope...

and vicki... if you are reading this... then... talk to me... tell me what you feel, if it is love... and even if it's not, tell me anyways... for i can do no more...

we shall talk of this, vicki... just... later...

farewell all.