Sunday, December 07, 2003
sunday...
better mood now
I spent the majority of the day so far with vicki. had a bowling tournement this morning, lost but who cares.
last night, from about 9:30PM SAT till around 5:30AM SUN (Whoa... 8 hours...) i was talking on the phone with vicki. we discussed many many different topics and i... well freya and i spoke last night in the one break in the conversation.
in any case
i've told her... through poetry...
if i see her late rtoday, we will probably discuss it furthur and if i do not, we will discuss it one of these days.
i told her, if you are itnerested, that i love her, care for her, want her and need her, but in the end it's her choice what to do. i know that i want to be with her, but she should follow her own dreams, whatever they may be...
and i mean it
anyways... we were interrupted at that moment... soemthing about her mother, which some of you know about and most of you dont (i'll tell you, freya, what happened sometime in the future, when i see you next)
we will discuss it tonight and i will tell her, face to face, not through a poem, those words i've been wanting to say for so goddamn long. and if vicki doesnt share those feeligns, then... i don't know... i guess i'll move on after a while, but the pain will be much.
i dont know what she is going to do.
i know what i want her to do... i want us to start dating again, and really dating, trying to fix the problems that arise rather than just giving up on it all. i want her to hold me and love me. i want to share all the experiances in my life with her. i'm almost comfortable with her... i've told her everything except of my love for her... and she knows of this. (yes freya... EVERYTHING... including that... yes you know, that thing that not many people know of me. Scrabble knows of it and Kos and ddm and now vicki. you know damn well what im talking about... or at least you should. if you dont, ill tell you later)
my life is going to change again in the next few days. i can see it upon the horizon.... there are two paths and i am not the one with the rudder. but... whatever will be, will be .
Que sera, sera
I spent the majority of the day so far with vicki. had a bowling tournement this morning, lost but who cares.
last night, from about 9:30PM SAT till around 5:30AM SUN (Whoa... 8 hours...) i was talking on the phone with vicki. we discussed many many different topics and i... well freya and i spoke last night in the one break in the conversation.
in any case
i've told her... through poetry...
if i see her late rtoday, we will probably discuss it furthur and if i do not, we will discuss it one of these days.
i told her, if you are itnerested, that i love her, care for her, want her and need her, but in the end it's her choice what to do. i know that i want to be with her, but she should follow her own dreams, whatever they may be...
and i mean it
anyways... we were interrupted at that moment... soemthing about her mother, which some of you know about and most of you dont (i'll tell you, freya, what happened sometime in the future, when i see you next)
we will discuss it tonight and i will tell her, face to face, not through a poem, those words i've been wanting to say for so goddamn long. and if vicki doesnt share those feeligns, then... i don't know... i guess i'll move on after a while, but the pain will be much.
i dont know what she is going to do.
i know what i want her to do... i want us to start dating again, and really dating, trying to fix the problems that arise rather than just giving up on it all. i want her to hold me and love me. i want to share all the experiances in my life with her. i'm almost comfortable with her... i've told her everything except of my love for her... and she knows of this. (yes freya... EVERYTHING... including that... yes you know, that thing that not many people know of me. Scrabble knows of it and Kos and ddm and now vicki. you know damn well what im talking about... or at least you should. if you dont, ill tell you later)
my life is going to change again in the next few days. i can see it upon the horizon.... there are two paths and i am not the one with the rudder. but... whatever will be, will be .
Que sera, sera
// posted by Dep @ 4:58:00 p.m.
