Saturday, September 27, 2003
What a bloody week
Well... figured out why my angel hasn't been going to school... apparently i gave her a cold... which lead to her having pneumonia... i feel like such an ass. But... shit happens in life.
More importantly, I've figured out my feelings for her... love... is too weak a word... but certainly adequate for my purposes.
Anyways... I see my last post was last tuesday, so i will attempt to fill you in...
Yesterday, Dark Nova & I and two of our friends (kevin and vanessa, who are bro/sis) went over to kevs place... we watched movies, etc. Basically my whole week... the rest of it was all boring.
I realized that I have just discovered true love... in the past, what I felt was... a crush for what its worth... Actually thats not true... freya... I don't consider to be a crush, for the simple fact that I still love her... I've accepted that we're never going to be togther, but it is her choice and angelis sounds like a great guy. And I have my angel... But with my angel its different... I don't see her in the morning, I miss her... I don't want to spend time away from her... I know we can't spend every waking moment togteher, for one, we'd get sick of each other... but... its hard to describe... when im with her... head on her leg... her hands in my hair... my hand on hers... i feel so completly at peace with the world... so content.
About her problems? She... needs to deal with them in her own way. I'm their for her always, if she needs me, and if she wants to talk about her problems, she is welcome to... im always willing to listen... but if she doesnt want to talk about it, what can i do? Make her tlak? We all have our outlets... I have mine, freya has hers and my angel has hers.
I really really need to tell her I love her... I need to because its true... and she deserves to know how much I care for her... It's so deep I think its really love this time... but who knows...
Love conquers all... but can it conquer the pain and lonliness I see in her eyes... I love her so much and I know I can make the lonliness go away... but their comes a time when depression becomes the norm and happiness is something you cant deal with easily... I know, I've been there... I still can't deal with compliments well, or happiness, because I've been lonly for so long, I've forgotten how to be happy... but she needs to realize that there is some joy to be taken from life... and I really really really hope that I am one of those joys...
Now, I am off to chat... ttyl all
More importantly, I've figured out my feelings for her... love... is too weak a word... but certainly adequate for my purposes.
Anyways... I see my last post was last tuesday, so i will attempt to fill you in...
Yesterday, Dark Nova & I and two of our friends (kevin and vanessa, who are bro/sis) went over to kevs place... we watched movies, etc. Basically my whole week... the rest of it was all boring.
I realized that I have just discovered true love... in the past, what I felt was... a crush for what its worth... Actually thats not true... freya... I don't consider to be a crush, for the simple fact that I still love her... I've accepted that we're never going to be togther, but it is her choice and angelis sounds like a great guy. And I have my angel... But with my angel its different... I don't see her in the morning, I miss her... I don't want to spend time away from her... I know we can't spend every waking moment togteher, for one, we'd get sick of each other... but... its hard to describe... when im with her... head on her leg... her hands in my hair... my hand on hers... i feel so completly at peace with the world... so content.
About her problems? She... needs to deal with them in her own way. I'm their for her always, if she needs me, and if she wants to talk about her problems, she is welcome to... im always willing to listen... but if she doesnt want to talk about it, what can i do? Make her tlak? We all have our outlets... I have mine, freya has hers and my angel has hers.
I really really need to tell her I love her... I need to because its true... and she deserves to know how much I care for her... It's so deep I think its really love this time... but who knows...
Love conquers all... but can it conquer the pain and lonliness I see in her eyes... I love her so much and I know I can make the lonliness go away... but their comes a time when depression becomes the norm and happiness is something you cant deal with easily... I know, I've been there... I still can't deal with compliments well, or happiness, because I've been lonly for so long, I've forgotten how to be happy... but she needs to realize that there is some joy to be taken from life... and I really really really hope that I am one of those joys...
Now, I am off to chat... ttyl all
// posted by Dep @ 9:24:00 p.m.
