Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Weekend Questioning
Yeah... title says a lot don't it?
Anyways... Through out the weekend, in which I reflected attempts to convert me to Catholisism, and laughed at numerous people who thought my angel and i were... hehe... brother and sister (omg that was funny), I began to question whether or not my angel and I were right for each other...
I had to ask myself could i deal with her mood swings... one second shes playful and caring (though she doenst show it) and the next, shes... violently angry, silent... completly not caring... almost like she wants me dead.
KoS says its all a phase some teenagers go through... I'm goingto have to assume he's right... to assume otherwise means that she wants me dead and that she really doesnt care for me like i do for her.
Other than my doubts...
boston is no longer in my hands...
t-shirts are coming along well...
band is going well....
my parents are being stubborn... as are some of my "friends"
back to vicki...
Sometimes I think we're really going well. She wants me to meet her grandparents... even though i know the fact that I'm not catholic might come up.. ( have to hide it as well as I can)... She has subtly hinted that marriage might be in our future... not that im going to even start to think about it... but the fact that she might want to get married to me even though shes said repeatedly she doesnt want to get married is pretty convincing...
And other times... well I can't post most of what she says on the internet. Most of it involves my death, and I am praying its all a joke or a phase shes going through. She claims to have gone past the point of inflicting pain upon herself and into a new stage of depression... simply not caring. She says she doubts she'll live until the age of 30... and I'm worried because i don't know if its a joke or if shes serious... i really could not stand to lose her in that manner... hell in any manner...
But... KoS has assured me its all a phase shes going through... and I must pray its true... to assume otherwise is to risk madness and loss of love forever... and I do love her... I love her in a good mood... her bad mood scares the shit outta me... but I can handle it... I think... I hope... anyways... thats all for now. later
Anyways... Through out the weekend, in which I reflected attempts to convert me to Catholisism, and laughed at numerous people who thought my angel and i were... hehe... brother and sister (omg that was funny), I began to question whether or not my angel and I were right for each other...
I had to ask myself could i deal with her mood swings... one second shes playful and caring (though she doenst show it) and the next, shes... violently angry, silent... completly not caring... almost like she wants me dead.
KoS says its all a phase some teenagers go through... I'm goingto have to assume he's right... to assume otherwise means that she wants me dead and that she really doesnt care for me like i do for her.
Other than my doubts...
boston is no longer in my hands...
t-shirts are coming along well...
band is going well....
my parents are being stubborn... as are some of my "friends"
back to vicki...
Sometimes I think we're really going well. She wants me to meet her grandparents... even though i know the fact that I'm not catholic might come up.. ( have to hide it as well as I can)... She has subtly hinted that marriage might be in our future... not that im going to even start to think about it... but the fact that she might want to get married to me even though shes said repeatedly she doesnt want to get married is pretty convincing...
And other times... well I can't post most of what she says on the internet. Most of it involves my death, and I am praying its all a joke or a phase shes going through. She claims to have gone past the point of inflicting pain upon herself and into a new stage of depression... simply not caring. She says she doubts she'll live until the age of 30... and I'm worried because i don't know if its a joke or if shes serious... i really could not stand to lose her in that manner... hell in any manner...
But... KoS has assured me its all a phase shes going through... and I must pray its true... to assume otherwise is to risk madness and loss of love forever... and I do love her... I love her in a good mood... her bad mood scares the shit outta me... but I can handle it... I think... I hope... anyways... thats all for now. later
// posted by Dep @ 9:03:00 p.m.
