Tuesday, September 30, 2003
obsession or love
well... i had a little bit of a problem... i hit delete... oh well...
the generasl gist of this is that scrabble and I had this huge conversation today... i told her of my life... she told me what she thinks of me (a lot like what you said Freya) anyways... it made me realize a few things...
basically i have to go to my angel and tell her i love her and all about my life... explain how much i care for her, how much i love her and what it means for me to love her...
what does it mean for me to love her? well... heres what i told scrabble today...
"you believe in the power and raw emotion, the caring and devotion, the utter and complete devotion? The sacrifice that is sometiems neccessary and the pain that follows after someone takes your heart and twists it into a thousand pieces? "
"love has the ability to conquer all fears... it has the power to change you and to make you a better person... it can also drive you to the depths of insanity... "
"love is to want a person beyond all imagination... to want them so much that you are willing to risk all to have them... and to give up all that you two have won if it will make them happy... to leave them if that is there wish... "
my problem with telling her this?? I'm afraid she won't understand... some people do not understand the concept of love at a young age such as mine... I do... freya does... scrabble does i think... but what about my angel?
and what about me... is what i feel obsession or love... or is love an obsession?
i dont know... and i dont care... im calling it love and im going on with it... because if we are ever to have a future together as i want and desire so very much, she must know this about me... and if she has a problem with it, then i will move on... in time.
Scrabble made me see that there is hope out there... as Freya did... both of them, I think, have the capacity to love me... just the spark isn't there...
But I will tell my angel... i will tell her i love her... that i care for her... i will tell her of my past completely and openly, with no secrets as i have done for no person before... and i will tell her what it means for me to love her... i will speak to her of how fast does she want this to do... and i will ask her if she loves me... or if she thinks she might love me... because this is the last time... no more me going back to her... if she wants this to be over, it is over unless she returns... and with that... i have finished my musings for today... perhaps i will post later tonight...
the generasl gist of this is that scrabble and I had this huge conversation today... i told her of my life... she told me what she thinks of me (a lot like what you said Freya) anyways... it made me realize a few things...
basically i have to go to my angel and tell her i love her and all about my life... explain how much i care for her, how much i love her and what it means for me to love her...
what does it mean for me to love her? well... heres what i told scrabble today...
"you believe in the power and raw emotion, the caring and devotion, the utter and complete devotion? The sacrifice that is sometiems neccessary and the pain that follows after someone takes your heart and twists it into a thousand pieces? "
"love has the ability to conquer all fears... it has the power to change you and to make you a better person... it can also drive you to the depths of insanity... "
"love is to want a person beyond all imagination... to want them so much that you are willing to risk all to have them... and to give up all that you two have won if it will make them happy... to leave them if that is there wish... "
my problem with telling her this?? I'm afraid she won't understand... some people do not understand the concept of love at a young age such as mine... I do... freya does... scrabble does i think... but what about my angel?
and what about me... is what i feel obsession or love... or is love an obsession?
i dont know... and i dont care... im calling it love and im going on with it... because if we are ever to have a future together as i want and desire so very much, she must know this about me... and if she has a problem with it, then i will move on... in time.
Scrabble made me see that there is hope out there... as Freya did... both of them, I think, have the capacity to love me... just the spark isn't there...
But I will tell my angel... i will tell her i love her... that i care for her... i will tell her of my past completely and openly, with no secrets as i have done for no person before... and i will tell her what it means for me to love her... i will speak to her of how fast does she want this to do... and i will ask her if she loves me... or if she thinks she might love me... because this is the last time... no more me going back to her... if she wants this to be over, it is over unless she returns... and with that... i have finished my musings for today... perhaps i will post later tonight...
// posted by Dep @ 4:08:00 p.m.
