Friday, September 19, 2003
Death...
Today... I was thinking... and i realized that eventually death will come for me... and for my angel... and that I really don't want it to. Life as an atheist sucks sometimes... but hey. Anyways... I realized it could happen tomorrow... or a year from now... and before one of us goes, I really want her to know how much I love her... so I'm telling her... sometime this weekend... I hope. Christ... I love her so much, I just have to talk about it... and so far I can only talk all about it here, without annoying people by going on for an hour about her....
I really am in love... its the greatest feeling I've ever had... sometimes I have to stop myself from kissing her in public... because... I dunno... I get the feeling she doesn't want me to. I'll ask her about it. The only way to know for sure, is to ask her.
I love her... I really love her... I want to be with her right now... not here writing about it... It seems odd for a teenager to feel this way, I know... but... meh... guess I'm the exception that proves the rule. No matter what rule you attempt to apply to human beings, there is always an exception. Don't know who said that... think it was my english teacher.
Damn my cynical/paranoid/not-trusting anyone side of me... it's a protective mechanism I wish I could turn off with her... I wish i didn't think "well... what if she's decieving me". I don't think she is... and I hope shes not. This feeling... its so good... especially when she kissed me... or when we're together... I feel... complete... If I believed in soul mates, I'd say I found mine... Thats howshe makes me feel.... and how much I hope this lasts forever... even though I know we both must die at some point.
I really don't care about her past... she's done some bad shit... and I don't care... I love her... love conquers all. It overcomes her smoking and the other things shes done... love is indeed a powerful force...
I'm babbling now... I really am in love... damn it.... I want to tell her... but i'm afraid of how she'd react... is it too soon to say i love you... but how will i know when the time comes... i think the time is this weekend... so i'm going to go... and im going to say it...
otherwise today was pretty boring... except for my new dagger... very cool... anyways, later.
I really am in love... its the greatest feeling I've ever had... sometimes I have to stop myself from kissing her in public... because... I dunno... I get the feeling she doesn't want me to. I'll ask her about it. The only way to know for sure, is to ask her.
I love her... I really love her... I want to be with her right now... not here writing about it... It seems odd for a teenager to feel this way, I know... but... meh... guess I'm the exception that proves the rule. No matter what rule you attempt to apply to human beings, there is always an exception. Don't know who said that... think it was my english teacher.
Damn my cynical/paranoid/not-trusting anyone side of me... it's a protective mechanism I wish I could turn off with her... I wish i didn't think "well... what if she's decieving me". I don't think she is... and I hope shes not. This feeling... its so good... especially when she kissed me... or when we're together... I feel... complete... If I believed in soul mates, I'd say I found mine... Thats howshe makes me feel.... and how much I hope this lasts forever... even though I know we both must die at some point.
I really don't care about her past... she's done some bad shit... and I don't care... I love her... love conquers all. It overcomes her smoking and the other things shes done... love is indeed a powerful force...
I'm babbling now... I really am in love... damn it.... I want to tell her... but i'm afraid of how she'd react... is it too soon to say i love you... but how will i know when the time comes... i think the time is this weekend... so i'm going to go... and im going to say it...
otherwise today was pretty boring... except for my new dagger... very cool... anyways, later.
// posted by Dep @ 5:33:00 p.m.
